Sister threw DS out of the photo

[HellMc]

My DS (10) has always pulled silly faces in photos, he’s done it since he was a toddler. We tried getting him to stop but it’s like he can’t help himself so we just got on with it. We assumed if we didn’t make a fuss out of it he’s grow out of it but he didn’t. All of his school photos have silly faces etc and now we just laugh. The only photos we have of him not doing a silly face are the natural ones he didn’t know we were taking.

Anyway yesterday me, DS, sister, her kids and my other sisters son went on a day out a national heritage site. Sister wanted a group photo of all the kids so they all stood together in front of the ruins. Sister then said to DS “either stop pulling faces or stand over there out of the photo” 😱 it came as a shock as everyone was laughing at him initially and then she suddenly got mad. I told her I thought she was being a bit harsh and she said “sorry but I’ve been trying to take a nice photo of them all all day for mum and he’s ruined every one so far”.

I told DS to just this once not pull a face but he continued doing so so sister told him to get out of shot. She then took the photo of the other kids and said “there, finally mum will have a photo for her wall”.

so I said mum would want all the kids together so she said “actually, mum told me to take the pic without your ds if he insisted on pulling a face, she was annoyed with the last lot of photos I took her because he’d ruined them all.

I feel hurt, not just about my sister but also what my mum (his grandma!) has clearly been saying!!

AIBu to feel hurt at DS being excluded from a family photo that is destined for my mums wall??

I can't believe school are happy to have him arsing around in the school photos either, tbh.
At any school I've known he'd be hauled out of them until he stopped attention seeking.

Your sister was absolutely right. In fact, you should have pulled your son out of the picture before it got to that point. My son pulls silly faces and when I tell him to stop, he stops, and he is 7. Am in complete agreement with your sister and mother. It hunk you need to get tougher with son OP.

Funny and cute for a while. It's just annoying after the age of 6.

Your sister was quite right

Bravo that sister!
It might have been cutesy and funny once, but at ten he can stand still for the ten seconds it takes for a photo.

I would be exactly the same as your sister. What a nuisance

He's TEN!

I can't get my head around the fact you haven't done this before yourself.

Why anyone would be "laughing along" with this when the child is ten is bewildering to me.

YABVU. What else have you just “got on with” and let your DS get away with?

My DS of similar age has just emerged from a phase of sticking two fingers a la bunny ears behind someone’s head in every pic we attempted to take. He was given a bollocking every time or asked or leave the pic. We persevered. He has stopped.

Class photos?
Team photos?
Wedding photos? (As a guest)
Passport?

It does sound harsh but he's not a little kid anymore. There's a time for silliness and a time to know when to stop.

I think your sister was a bit mean tbh, I found photo taking so awkward and forced when I was a kid, maybe he just doesn't like his photo being taken but feels he had to and this is his way of having control over the situation. I get wanting to have nice photos, but natural ones are always nicer imo. If your sister wanted one with fake smiley cheesy faces she could have gone about it in a different way! Even just asking if he'd step out as she wants a smiley one and she knows he doesn't like doing that.

YABU for all the reasons others have said. This is the kind of discipline he needs to stop this behaviour, which is quite selfish of him.

This. He's 10, not a baby.

He'll have to behave for a passport photo, he needs to start practising now.

As others have said, stop laughing when his school photo's come through. I guess you have never refused to buy them due to his stupidity.

Some posters on this feed are too much. Op is upset where she bu or not, you don't need to be horrid about her son or her as a parent. Op - please don't take any of these nasty comments to heart.

He will never be able to leave the court if he 'can't help it'.

I think YABU. I thought from the thread title that it would be about him being deemed insufficiently photogenic for some reason beyond his control; but if he was deliberately pulling faces after being warned- well, at 10 he's old enough to understand a fair warning and consequences for ignoring it.

You've indulged this and not stopped it. I expect he enjoys you laughing at his faces. But enough is enough at 10 - if someone asks him not to, why can he not stop himself??? Because there's never been a serious request to stop and he thinks he's the family joker.
YABU.

Good for your sister for finally addressing it. You need to talk to him about it. Having school photos where he's pulling faces is ridiculous & you laughing at it isn't helping. There's no excuse for him behaving like that. He's old enough to be told its not acceptable behaviour and that he should expect to be excluded from a lot more photos in the future.

It's really not hard to stand & smile for a few seconds instead of behaving like a fool

OP if he seriously wants to stop this behaviour then you can help him by practicing at home. I can’t imagine why you haven’t done that before.

If it's genuinely because he gets nervous you need to practice taking bucketloads of photos of him till he relaxes enough to take a decent one - and delete the silly ones.

I suspect though that he likes the attention he gets from clowning around, esp if your reaction essentially encourages it.

He disobeyed you. You told him to stop as well as your sister and he didnt, he ignored you and carried on, so he got a consequence of doing that. I think that's bang on

*country

Your sister was quite right. Your boy has been behaving in a silly way for a long time and got some laughs (I suspect that's why he's continued to do the funny faces) but at 10, he should be better behaved - and you should stop encouraging him

He was warned. He's old enough to learn and you laughing has just encouraged him all these years.

He can help it and I think she did the right thing, she was taking the photo, your mother wanted a nice one of all the children, so he was left out. You might find that he stops pulling faces if he is left out more often. I did this with my boys and it worked. Pulling a face is funny occasionally but not every time, it gets annoying!