Sister threw DS out of the photo

[HellMc]

My DS (10) has always pulled silly faces in photos, he’s done it since he was a toddler. We tried getting him to stop but it’s like he can’t help himself so we just got on with it. We assumed if we didn’t make a fuss out of it he’s grow out of it but he didn’t. All of his school photos have silly faces etc and now we just laugh. The only photos we have of him not doing a silly face are the natural ones he didn’t know we were taking.

Anyway yesterday me, DS, sister, her kids and my other sisters son went on a day out a national heritage site. Sister wanted a group photo of all the kids so they all stood together in front of the ruins. Sister then said to DS “either stop pulling faces or stand over there out of the photo” 😱 it came as a shock as everyone was laughing at him initially and then she suddenly got mad. I told her I thought she was being a bit harsh and she said “sorry but I’ve been trying to take a nice photo of them all all day for mum and he’s ruined every one so far”.

I told DS to just this once not pull a face but he continued doing so so sister told him to get out of shot. She then took the photo of the other kids and said “there, finally mum will have a photo for her wall”.

so I said mum would want all the kids together so she said “actually, mum told me to take the pic without your ds if he insisted on pulling a face, she was annoyed with the last lot of photos I took her because he’d ruined them all.

I feel hurt, not just about my sister but also what my mum (his grandma!) has clearly been saying!!

AIBu to feel hurt at DS being excluded from a family photo that is destined for my mums wall??

Is your son bothered? If he doesn't like photos then this is a good way to get out of them in future.

Just because you think it’s funny doesn’t mean it won’t get on other people’s nerves.

He’s 10, can he not follow instructions? ‘Smile nicely in the picture for grandma or don’t be in the picture’ is a very simple instruction. He’s not 4.

I also don’t know why you told your sister she’s being harsh. It just sounds like she has a backbone and won’t let kids do whatever they want simply because they feel like it

He sounds really annoying and you should have nipped this in the bud ages ago. It's obviously pushing your family off and I don't blame them.

YABU.

Pissing your family off, not pushing

Exactly. YABU op.

He doesn’t need to ‘act’ any way, he literally just had to stand there and look in the direction of the camera!

Honestly your sister did the right thing. I would have pulled my son out myself. He is ten and if he can't behave he's not in the picture - simple.
I can imagine it's not longer funny at all. Cute in toddlers but not at ten. If he struggle with photos then give him the choice to step out, but if he is in the, he must behave.

He sounds incredibly childish for 10 and I wouldn’t tolerate expensive school photos being ruined by him gurning if I was you. Your sister is absolutely not being unreasonable to want a nice photo without him spoiling it and attention seeking.

why should your son ruin it for everyone?

This is your fault for not putting a stop to his rudeness long ago.

I mean tbf he's ruining all the photos and after years I imagine it's really annoying and not funny anymore.

He can help it. He just doesn't want to and you're not giving any consequences.

If he has not grown out of this infantile behaviour by the age of ten, he may need specialist help! If he does not desist, his wedding photos are going to be grim..............

He can't help pulling faces? That would drive me mad, and I would not let him in any photos either. What is wrong with him?

YABU , and I would applaud your sister for addressing the issue and it’s not like she threw him out of the photo , she gave him the option to act like a normal human or leave . At 10 it’s not cute or funny it’s attention seeking .

Sorry op, I'm with the other 99%

I imagine it's been driving your sister and Mum mad for years and she's finally had enough, which is fair enough.

He's wanted in the picture if he will do a nice normal smile. They don't want to exclude him. He's doing that to himself.

I have a 10 year old boy and they are hard work (and he has ADHD) but they're more than old enough to know when they need to behave sensibly.

Good for your sister for finally airing her frustration. I can imagine her putting a post on here saying her DN ruins every photo and would it be ok to give him this ultimatum finally after 10 years, and everyone would say "yes definitely "

What your sister did is correct. Explain the consequences if he carried on, then followed through when he ignored them.

You should give it a try.

At 10 he knows exactly what he is doing. You DSis was perfectly reasonable.

I also agree with @Johnnysgirl about the school's attitude, and I'm surprised that he has not had consequences there. Solo shot is just unfortunate, but his classmates will not forgive having the form photo marred.
On one notable occasion, two siblings decided to make an "hilarious" rude gesture in the whole school photograph. All pupils from 7-18, you can imagine organising that one......When the proofs arrived with all the other pictures, it was decided that this one picture would have to be retaken, and the parents were billed for the expenses incurred.

Yep I'm with your sister I'm afraid. That would irritate the hell out of me and really not cute or amusing after repeated reasonable requests

How did your son react to be sent out of the photograph @HellMc ? Did he hear the conversation about the photo for your mum?

So he doesn't have a passport?

He's 10 years old and should do what he's told. It was cute when he was 3, not anymore. The problem isn't with your mum or sister, he's not listening to you or your family and you need to address that with him.

Is this a reverse?

Fair enough, I say. He sounds like an annoying brat.

You should have dealt with his bad behaviour years ago. Now your sister has you should be embarrassed for not doing it yourself.