To ask for the good points to having a boy?

[Greentartanbow01]

Please could I have measured responses, I absolutely know that ultimately a healthy baby is all that matters.

I’m due a c section with my first baby next week. We don’t know the sex.

It took us a long time to get here and we never thought we’d be able to have a child, I’ve had a pretty rough pregnancy- diagnosed with many different things and had threatened first and second trimester miscarriage, plus pre-term 3rd trimester labour. Am so relieved and pleased to have made it to the gestation I am now.

In all honesty though, because of all the drama throughout this pregnancy, I haven’t really stopped and thought about the baby at the end of it 😳

In my head, the whole way through it’s been a girl. In every daydream that I’ve dared let myself have, it’s been a girl. I’ve always imagined myself with a daughter, never a son. I’m much better with girls than I am boys when I’m around other people’s children and I’m going to be honest here and say that I do have a gender preference and that is for a girl.

DH genuinely doesn’t have a preference and I believe him.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified of the baby not being healthy and I know that a healthy baby is the ultimate goal, sex really doesn’t matter and I know I’ll love my baby whatever, but I know if it’s a boy, it is probably going to take me a few hours to get my head around and mange the ‘disappointment’ (if that would be the word) in all honesty.

Part of the reason I’m less keen on having a boy is because of the saying that I keep seeing trotted out on here, about a daughter being a wife but a son only being a son until he finds a wife. In all honesty, that’s definitely been the case with me and my sibling, DB just doesn’t have the relationship with my mother that I do. They’re close enough but he sees a lot more of his wife’s mother/ family and tbh it’s pretty much the same for most males that I know.

Could posters please reassure me that that isn’t always the case and tell me why they love having a son/ sons?

I have a girl and two boys. Girls seem to have endless issues and drama at school. Boys don’t (in my experience). My middle child is the most placid chilled boy ever. When we found out our youngest was a boy we thought he’d be the same but he’s highly strung like his sister 👀

I have both boys and girls (well one a man now as he is 21).
I can honestly I have the best relationship with my adult son.
We can chat,go to the cinema etc.
It really doesn't matter what sex they are but there personality.
Good luck with baby, I'm sure you will be absolutely fine.

I had no experience of boys as I have a mostly female family. I had no preference as I just wanted a child. I ended with boys. I wouldn't swap them for the world. I'd be saying the same if I had girls but my only experience of motherhood are boys and they are fab.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I have one of each and my eldest is a boy and he is 3 . He's hard work at the moment as he skipped the terrible twos and is a full blown threenager but he is so so loving. He plays with monster trucks and he plays being a daddy with his dollies too. He's much gentler than my little girl (16 months) is and always has been. Sometimes I walk in the room and he says "wow mummy you are beautiful " so that's nice 😂 they are all so different and I know all types of boys and girls. In my family being a boy mum has never meant you won't be close. We were much closer to my dads mum growing up and my two are very close with my mother in law. You will love baby either way. Oh and if baby is a girl that will also be lovely . My little girl is so funny but looks just like her dad! Not a bad thing but always wanted my girl to look like me. My boy is my double though .

Omg you wouldn't want to hike with my son. He whines about walking anywhere (except to school as he likes school lol)

My son (now an adult) is one of my life's greatest joys. He's smart, interesting, kind, supportive, hilarious, and the best company. We go on nights out and holidays and love each other's company. I don't think there is anyone else I'm more in tune with.
Of course, none of this is down to the fact he's male. It's down to his personality and my love for him. Because when it comes down to it, that's what matters. His biological sex is irrelevant.

I get that disconnect when you've always imagined one and get the other - it's like you've created this person and then you don't recognise them when they arrive.
If it's any consolation my DH is very close to his mother - much more so than his DS. We see his parents every week yet his DS could go months without seeing them. In fact most men I know are very close to their mothers - though that could be the Irish Mammy thing!
I have one of each and they are very much just their own people - there are some stereotypical traits but they both have their own unique personalities. My goal is to build a strong relationship with both and that will hopefully stand the test of time and spouses - though I've no idea if they'll even marry, let alone who they'll go to for Christmas dinner 😆

I didn't know what to do with boy bits and assumed I wanted a girl i have learnt. I purposely had a surprise as the studies say there is less disappointment that way. He is the light of my life and I realise how perfect it was that I have a boy. I was a tomboy myself so love playing cars. He is also sensitive and loves pink. He gives the best snuggles and my heart aches being away from him. No kids are the same. We don't do gender stereo types in pir household and I just want to bring up a kind and helpful human. Your own kids are always the best regardless of sex.

The benefits of having boys are, at least in the early years, the same as the benefits of having children in general. You will hear a lot of "boys are this, girls are this" but it's largely personality, reinforced with a large dose of gender stereotypes. If you have a child who doesn't fit the stereotype for whatever reason (boy or girl), that can be tough going for you and them.

My aunt is currently on holiday with her 3 grown boys (30, 28 and 26). The eldest and her (and his fiancé) have been out there together for a month already before his brothers (and one of their girlfriends joined them). Same every year, they love it. All have a great and independent relationship with their parents, as well as one together. My aunt desperately wanted a girl (she’s told me multiple times) but they’ve had a great life and relationship.

my husband is one of 2 boys and both are close with his mum, and dad! Calls weekly, sees her when dropping our daughters off for childcare weekly and easily spends an hour each side of drop off just chatting. He always buys her birthday and Christmas and Mother’s Day presents with absolutely no input from me.

don’t worry, your little (potential) man will have the relationship with you you both carve out and establish over many years!

Literally yes to everything you ve written. I think a lot of this 'girls are, boys are..' stuff is ingrained socialisation that we need not even be consciously aware of. Its bloody depressing really.

I felt similar with my boy, I already had a girl but I have sisters and really wanted that relationship for my daughter, I felt initial disappointment when our scan confirm a boy.

Ashamed of that now.

Boys are awesome. So funny and cheeky and full of wonder and bags of love. My son is now 6 and he is an absolute ray of sunshine in my life. I was worried I wouldn't feel as close to a son as a daughter but it's not the case. And their relationship is actually really close, I hope that continues as they get older, I'm sure it will.

Don't be disappointed to be having a boy, I understand I do, but honestly, Your relationship with your child is what you make it, their sex doesn't come into it.

Also they tell the best/worst jokes aswell

I have three boys. Each time I secretly hoped for a girl, especially the third time as I thought it would be my last baby, but as soon as I've seen them I have fallen head over heels, and I wouldnt change them for anything.
The one area I've struggled with is that I much prefer girly toys and get a bit sick of the lego, transformer, superhero thing (I have offered all toys but this is just what my DS liked and his brothers are following suit) I find toddlers will play with anything but by age 4 a lot of boys gravitate toward more typical boy toys, and if they have older brothers even more so.

However, the cutest dynamic has now appeared where my eldest (6) realises I'm the only girl in the house and purposely does things to help me feel included. He will buy me girly things for my birthday, and they spoil me and are kind to me even more so because im the only girl.
Also, they are simple creatures, not judgemental or critical. My eldest is deep and thoughtful but he is straightforward in a relationship sense in a way that boys often are. I have often struggled with female friendships, how complicated they can be, so there is a bit of a relief there that I won't have to navigate that with a daughter.
If we go on to have a DC4, I'd be overjoyed with either but I wouldn't be hoping for a girl.

As above , I have a few boys , cried when I found out , it’s only natural , everybody else had a daughter except me. I lost a daughter , it makes it extra poignant. All this thing about boys and girls are the same - no , no they are not.
not to a mother

I have one of each, and I can’t say that the experience is hugely different in ways that can be put down to gender/ sex (although of course they have very different personalities and talents etc).

One thing about my ds that I think might be a boy thing - and this seems to be echoed in other comments - is that he’s incredibly affection and loving. Always up for a cuddle (he’s 8) and very thoughtful. It’s not that dd isn’t affectionate or loving, there’s just something that’s hard to describe about the way sons love you.

I’m sorry for your loss, but it’s total rot ti say that crying because you have a boy is natural anyway.

Not “everyone” has a daughter, and lots of mothers have no preference.

One thing to prepare yourself for if you do have a son… as the MIL you can’t do anything right (if MN is anything to go by) 😂

I'm clearly doing it wrong.
My ds is not affectionate and doesn't give the best cuddles.
He is highly critical and judgemental.
He is not open, but actually quite secretive. Certainly not a thoughtful child, but is kind to animals and reads.

It's amazing that so far, only about 3 people have challenged the blatant stereotyping on here. 'Boys are this, boys are that'. Yes, it's great if you have boys. Yes, it's great if you have girls. But don't pretend it's because of some intrinsic boy or girl Ness.

I have one of each. I really wanted a girl when we first started TTC and was initially disappointed. I didn't get that rush of love when he was born but that was due to crippling PND and nor related to his sex. The first year of his life was the hardest year of mine.
DS is now 4 and I'm filled with such sadness and regret about that. He is my best friend. He is my heart. There are no words I could use that would accurately sum up how much I love him. He is so intelligent with an amazing vocabulary, he's warm, sweet, funny, kind, and he absolutely adores his Mama, he thinks I'm the most beautiful (I'm definitely not!!) Amazing person in the world. We have so much in common and love Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lego and all the 80's movies I grew up with.
DD is gorgeous, she's the funniest kid I've ever met but at 18mths I definitely gravitate more towards DS however I think that's purely an age thing. He starts school in September and I'm genuinely looking forward to having a day a week with just me and DD so we can find our own way together. She's definitely a daddy's girl atm, although she does sleep with me cuddled in every night!

I only have boys, they are completely different to each other. I don't think there's a massive difference between boys and girls, most of that is social conditioning. Each child is an individual and I don't think generalisations can be made based on sex. Neither of my boys fit any kind of gender stereotype and I'm sure it's the same for most children.

The best things about having a boy are that they are very loving and full of fun.
Each son has their own personalities and it’s lovely to see them growing up and hanging out together and helping each other.
It can be hard with the rough and tumble as they naturally push and shove but they all love each deeply and love a hug too.
Im looking forward to the years ahead , as long as there is not too much bickering and fighting 🤣

If you strip the gendered stuff away, babies and little kids are very similar in terms of emotional needs and how they interact. A lot of the differences are socialised in. But even then, more liberal approaches to parenting and less rigid gendered expectations mean those differences are less pronounced nowadays. I’ve got 2 girls and a boy and I just treated them as individuals. There was some following of gendered stereotypes and also some breaking out of them.

it’s also dangerous to think you will produce a mini-me. Or assume a girl will want to wear or do certain things. They tend to do what the hell they want!

I have one of each. DS is much more snuggly and loving. More chilled as a baby. DD was easier when she was his age but he's just a normal 2 year old boy. I expect the tables will turn in a few years and he will be the easy one.

They're all individuals you'd be better off wishing for a baby that sleeps well than a specific sex.
I his boy and a girl. My boy is a gentle thoughtful nerd. My girl is a fiery, kind earthy sort of person.
Out of the two of them the boy is the easiest to raise so far (he's 14 now)

Well said I 100 percent agree with this