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AIBU?

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Original poster

Flawless SIL. Jealous

156 replies

veniceorna · 16/08/2022 09:21

My SIL had a baby Sunday morning.

We were all beaming and excited. Couldn't wait to meet the baby! But none of us wanted to push it for a visit too soon so were waiting for an invite

My SIL asked if we all fancied Turkish Restaurant! We were shocked but jumped at the chance to see baby etc, wondering how SIL could possibly face it

There she was, arriving out of hospital and with us. Face full of flawless make up. Heels on. Dress on. She looked amazing. My niece with her and breastfeeding

What's more, my nephew was back that afternoon with her and she had nephew (5) with her too. My brother isn't really very hands on with him and struggles so God knows how she pulls it off

When I gave birth, normal Vagina delivery; I went home and ate biscuits for a few days in bed BlushSad

My SIL had a third degree tear!

OP posts:
Original poster
veniceorna · 16/08/2022 09:22

*tare, that should say

OP posts:
17caterpillars1mouse · 16/08/2022 09:25

I'd be worried for her that she feels she needs to be so flawless after such a bad birth. Why doesn't she feel comfortable to rest and heal from birth at home?

Original poster
veniceorna · 16/08/2022 09:28

@17caterpillars1mouse she genuinely looked very excited and happy to be out! Didn't seem at all like she was down about needing to recover etc

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 16/08/2022 09:31

Adrenaline and hormone rush? I’d be having a quiet word with her and her DH and advise rest and focus on themselves.

Third degree tears are nasty and really need looking after never mind establishing breastfeeding and recovering from labour.

Chikapu · 16/08/2022 09:31

Is your sil Kate Middleton?

TabithaTittlemouse · 16/08/2022 09:32

Good for her.

Leafy3 · 16/08/2022 09:34

veniceorna · 16/08/2022 09:22

*tare, that should say

You had it right the first time 😉

Dachshund · 16/08/2022 09:36

I can only speak from my personal experience but the second time around I just felt like it was easier in most ways. I had a tear too but when you have that first child to also deal with you just have to get on. It could be that she is extroverted and found more comfort in going out to see people rather than be holed up at home with the two kids? It’s nice to be centre of attention for a few hours and newborns sleep so much that I found it was honestly way easier to see people in the early days than it was even a few weeks in?

I do agree with other posters that I hope she made the choice completely herself and that your DB is pitching in to help. Try not to compare yourself though, I’m sure once she got home the biscuits came out 😆

TheFrustratedRedhead · 16/08/2022 09:38

MatildaTheCat · 16/08/2022 09:31

Adrenaline and hormone rush? I’d be having a quiet word with her and her DH and advise rest and focus on themselves.

Third degree tears are nasty and really need looking after never mind establishing breastfeeding and recovering from labour.

Please don’t do this. I was like her after my boys were born because of the high adrenaline etc. I rested when I needed to. Please don’t ‘have a word’, nobody ever appreciates it…

FrancescaContini · 16/08/2022 09:38

Some women just can’t do the right thing, can they? Can’t you be happy for her?

Louise0701 · 16/08/2022 09:39

Some women feel fine. I had 3 c section and the 2nd & 3rd I recovered really well. We went away for the weekend with family Friday - Sunday after having baby number 3 on the Wednesday. I felt fine, could walk, breastfeed and push the pram etc.
why not! Good for her!

Louise0701 · 16/08/2022 09:39

@FrancescaContini this!

dottypencilcase · 16/08/2022 09:39

I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be concerned. She must be exhausted and if she isn't now, it'll happen soon.

Louise0701 · 16/08/2022 09:40

I imagine if she was slobbing around for weeks not leaving the house after she’d be suspected of PND or told to take baby out etc.
agree with @FrancescaContini
Women can’t win.

tealandteal · 16/08/2022 09:41

There is such a thing as Post Partum Euphoria, the opposite of PPD basically but potentially still as harmful as you can push yourself too much. She may have genuinely recovered but perhaps keep an eye that she doesn’t feel pressure to show she is coping.

FrancescaContini · 16/08/2022 09:41

Would you have got a perverse pleasure out of seeing her in pain, struggling to breastfeed, crying?

Your post is horrible. Jealous of a woman who’s happy to have given birth to a healthy baby. FFS.

AuntieMarys · 16/08/2022 09:42

I went out for lunch 2 days after giving birth. Walked to the restaurant and back. I probably didn't look flawless but wasn't incapable

skgnome · 16/08/2022 09:45

Maybe she’s an extrovert and if your DB is not hands on she felt better in a restaurant (where they will serve them) with family around to pitch in when needed
maybe that baby is just very chilled and she got super lucky with BF
dont discount adrenaline and hormones - she got a boost of energy
I agree most of us will be home in our pjs wanting to recover in the sofa eating biscuits
if anything just pop in during the week with ready made meals and ask to take the older kids so she can focus on the baby - or look after the baby so she can shower

girlmom21 · 16/08/2022 09:45

I was like this after my first. For about 3 days. Then I crashed. Just make sure she knows you're there and tell your brother to get his head out his arse.

Longtimeposternc · 16/08/2022 09:48

TheFrustratedRedhead · 16/08/2022 09:38

Please don’t do this. I was like her after my boys were born because of the high adrenaline etc. I rested when I needed to. Please don’t ‘have a word’, nobody ever appreciates it…

Show quote history

I was the same - she’s just feeling great. What’s the problem?!

Shlomping1234 · 16/08/2022 09:49

I couldn't lift my head off the pillow for 3 days after dc1, I was losing spinal fluid after an epidural. Dc2, same type of birth but I was back in m

mewkins · 16/08/2022 09:50

Much easier going to a restaurant than having to tidy up for people! I felt like I'd been hit by a bus after dc1 was born but was ok after dc2 and felt human pretty quickly (mainly because I wasn't on the strong painkillers!)

Mariposista · 16/08/2022 09:51

Every woman is different. Not everyone is able to be like this, and likewise not everyone wants to slob about. I personally hate being waited on, and prefer to meet people outside my house (change of scenery).

Shlomping1234 · 16/08/2022 09:52

Posted too soon. Was back in my skinny jeans and wandering around the ward showing baby off with a massive happy smile on my face.

focuspocus · 16/08/2022 09:52

FrancescaContini · 16/08/2022 09:38

Some women just can’t do the right thing, can they? Can’t you be happy for her?

I didn't get the impression that the op wasn't happy for her SIL, not jealous in a mean way more in awe?

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