Flawless SIL. Jealous

[veniceorna]

My SIL had a baby Sunday morning.

We were all beaming and excited. Couldn't wait to meet the baby! But none of us wanted to push it for a visit too soon so were waiting for an invite

My SIL asked if we all fancied Turkish Restaurant! We were shocked but jumped at the chance to see baby etc, wondering how SIL could possibly face it

There she was, arriving out of hospital and with us. Face full of flawless make up. Heels on. Dress on. She looked amazing. My niece with her and breastfeeding

What's more, my nephew was back that afternoon with her and she had nephew (5) with her too. My brother isn't really very hands on with him and struggles so God knows how she pulls it off

When I gave birth, normal Vagina delivery; I went home and ate biscuits for a few days in bed

My SIL had a third degree tear!

I was like your SIL when I first came home after my second, OP. Fully made-up and back in my pre-pregnancy jeans, happily hosting one group of visitors after another, cooking complicated meals from scratch with baby in a sling. Everyone kept commenting on how great I looked and how happy and relaxed I was.
Two weeks later I was hiding in the house with the blinds drawn, crying uncontrollably and wishing I was dead. It took months of therapy, medication and a lot of adjustments to my lifestyle to get me back to anything like my old self. I genuinely felt on top of the world for the first couple of weeks post partum, but looking back now I felt too good, like I was on a permanent high. It made the crashing depression that followed even more difficult because I came down to earth with such a bump. My therapist at the time said it's something that happens sometimes. Not saying this is the case with your SIL at all, she's probably absolutely fine. Just sharing because I imagine anyone who came into contact with me during that initial euphoria was probably envious but I'm sure they wouldn't have been if they'd had any idea what was coming. You just never know what's really going on with people.

Good for her. I hope she feels as good as she looks. Perhaps she'd been looking forward to wearing heels etc again as hasn't been able to for ages. I hope she doesnt feel the need to un-flawless herself for anybody

I visited my office (with baby) when he was 13wks old as it's a pretty common thing to do where I work. I bumped into a colleague with another woman who asked 'how old?' and when I responded she made a catty comment about how she wouldn't have had time to put on makeup when her babies were that age.

The reality is, that was the first big public outings I had had with baby up until that point, as for the first 12wks he wouldn't be put down without screaming. I was nervous about visiting, but having 15mins beforehand to find an outfit that wasn't sweatpants, put some makeup on and quite frankly just switch my brain off (whilst my partner occupied baby) helped me relax and feel more 'myself' before the visit. As soon as I got home I was back in my sweatpants 😅

So the implication that I had put vanity before my baby was not only unnecessary, but completely untrue. So I guess what I'm saying is you can't judge what is going on in someone's life, or their approach to life, when you're only seeing a snippet of it.

I didn’t know that “jealous” could mean “in awe of” and can’t think of a context in which you could use it in that way.

If the OP was in awe of her SIL, why didn’t she just say that to avoid any ambiguity?

I was lucky to have 3 easy labours and always felt absolutely amazing after giving birth, my stomach went back to flat after a few days (v bad pains though with womb contracting but breastfeeding for me just ate calories and made me really lean) , I had no trouble breastfeeding and I wasn’t yet sleep deprived, my newborns slept better than when they were toddlers!!!
I have a picture of me and my dh out for a glass of wine with my three day old baby and our other small kids, all dressed up with makeup etc. We have family but absolutely no practical help whatsoever so always had my other kids with me though my dh and me are totally 50/50.
I’m not that smug though as I found toddlers a billion times more difficult and was exhausted and less put together with them ( No glasses of wine out etc then) but honestly the newborn part was an absolute breeze for me personally, they just lie there . Also if she has one other dc who’s 5 , that’s a big age gap and manageable so she doesn’t have baby and toddler /s which is harder.

My first absolutely destroyed me! The second was absolutely spot on. Was out and about with the kids the next day. I’m not a heels and shit load of make up kinda girl but if I was, I don’t see why I wouldn’t have!
granted I didn’t tear at all.

the thing that concerns me is that you say your brother is useless with the kids so fingers crossed she’s not just pushed into doing this because he doesn’t understand what it takes