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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with DD

322 replies

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 18:55

For ringing the switchboard to speak to me while I was at work today!! To ask if she could go to the cinema with her friends this afternoon! She’s 17 if that makes any difference. She did try to ring and text my mobile but I was in a meeting! I just feel she should have waited for me to see her message or missed call instead of calling the switchboard in an effort to reach me

OP posts:
Squashedraddish · 15/08/2022 18:56

Why would she need your permission at 17? Would she normally ask permission?

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 18:56

Squashedraddish · 15/08/2022 18:56

Why would she need your permission at 17? Would she normally ask permission?

She needed me to transfer her some money for it

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 15/08/2022 18:58

Have you talked to her about when it's OK to ring the switchboard and when not - with specific examples of what you would consider a valid reason?

As pp said it seems odd that someone of that age would need permission for a cinema trip.

Antarcticant · 15/08/2022 18:59

x-post

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:00

Antarcticant · 15/08/2022 18:58

Have you talked to her about when it's OK to ring the switchboard and when not - with specific examples of what you would consider a valid reason?

As pp said it seems odd that someone of that age would need permission for a cinema trip.

I originally gave her the number years ago for emergencies, didn’t even know she still had the number until today

OP posts:
dampgreg · 15/08/2022 19:01

If you haven't had a conversation about when to ring you and when not to then I couldn't get too worked up about it. Have a chat tonight about how to get hold of you. I don't think she's done anything that wrong if you haven't made it clear to her not to ring you at work

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:01

dampgreg · 15/08/2022 19:01

If you haven't had a conversation about when to ring you and when not to then I couldn't get too worked up about it. Have a chat tonight about how to get hold of you. I don't think she's done anything that wrong if you haven't made it clear to her not to ring you at work

Yeah I will have a chat about it tonight

OP posts:
Afterfire · 15/08/2022 19:02

Are you going to get in trouble at work for it?

I guess it really depends what kind of work you do.

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:02

To be fair to her if she had waited for me to see her text/missed call then she probably wouldn’t have had the money in time and therefore wouldn’t have been able to go to the cinema

OP posts:
Terriblethirtytwos · 15/08/2022 19:02

Fuming seems a bit of a stretch but I’d be a bit annoyed.

Greengr · 15/08/2022 19:02

She's using her initiative 😂
I still panic if my Dd 24 rings my school reception to speak to me ( often I've been in a meeting, away from my desk so haven't seen her messages or calls on my phone) as for Ds 19 not sure he even knows the school phone number!
At least she's okay just a bit cheeky.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 19:02

To be "fuming" about this is a ridiculous overreaction. Being irritated, fine, but fuming?

You daughter needs to work on her problem solving skills. If she couldn't have reached you, she should have asked a friend if she could borrow the money and pay them back as soon as possible this evening.

Devongurl · 15/08/2022 19:02

Is it the end of the world...Will you be in trouble because of it?

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:03

Afterfire · 15/08/2022 19:02

Are you going to get in trouble at work for it?

I guess it really depends what kind of work you do.

I won’t get into trouble. I’m a head of department in an extremely large company. But no I won’t be in trouble for it

OP posts:
Greengr · 15/08/2022 19:03

Oh and my Dd also has a lovely chat with our reception team!🙈

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 15/08/2022 19:03

I don't know.

My mum worked in a hospital and if she didn't answer her office phone or mobile, the only way to contact her was via switchboard. The ladies who worked there knew who I was by the sound of my voice after a while Grin

It might not have been an emergency as such, but was it time-critical for her if she needed the money?

Personally I think it's a bit bonkers that she needs to ring you at work to access money so she can go to the cinema! Doesn't she have a job/allowance/money of her own?

Cannylaughs · 15/08/2022 19:03

Perhaps set up a weekly/monthly allowance so she learns to budget and can prioritise activities. This will also cut out the need to ring you and promote independence. Someone will come along and say she should get a job but I don't know your circumstances plus temp jobs aren't in abundance in some areas.
It really isn't the end of the world in a one off situation, very rarely are meetings critically important.

YourLipsMyLipsApocalypse · 15/08/2022 19:04

I 100% don't understand your problem with this. You gave her the switchboard number, she used it, it has no repercussions for you at work.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:04

Greengr · 15/08/2022 19:03

Oh and my Dd also has a lovely chat with our reception team!🙈

Yeah our office reception and admin team act as our switchboard too

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 15/08/2022 19:05

Why are you furious? Is it never ok to take a quick personal call at work? How odd. What if there was a real emergency while you’re at work! What should she do then?

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:06

BitOutOfPractice · 15/08/2022 19:05

Why are you furious? Is it never ok to take a quick personal call at work? How odd. What if there was a real emergency while you’re at work! What should she do then?

Yeah we can take calls while at work but I was in a meeting at the time. And of course I wouldn’t be fuming with her if it was an emergency

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 15/08/2022 19:06

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:03

I won’t get into trouble. I’m a head of department in an extremely large company. But no I won’t be in trouble for it

Show quote history

Then why is it such a big deal? Just explain to her that the number is only for emergencies and in your opinion the cinema is not an emergency. 17yos are often self-obsessed. She may be arsey about you being at work a lot, if you have that sort of job - could she be making a point about you being unavailable? I am not saying she is right but teens can be arsey about all sorts of things. I'd just try to discuss calmly.

Hankunamatata · 15/08/2022 19:06

That would make me cross as I would have been freaked out something was wrong.

Dalaidramailama · 15/08/2022 19:07

LOL to this. It isn’t the end of the world but I’m possibly only saying that because I used to do it at the same age much to my mothers slight annoyance. 😂😂

bevelino · 15/08/2022 19:07

Seriously what is the issue here, it’s hardly a crime to call a parent at work? To be fuming is a massive overreaction.

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