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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fuming with DD

322 replies

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 18:55

For ringing the switchboard to speak to me while I was at work today!! To ask if she could go to the cinema with her friends this afternoon! She’s 17 if that makes any difference. She did try to ring and text my mobile but I was in a meeting! I just feel she should have waited for me to see her message or missed call instead of calling the switchboard in an effort to reach me

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:07

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 15/08/2022 19:03

I don't know.

My mum worked in a hospital and if she didn't answer her office phone or mobile, the only way to contact her was via switchboard. The ladies who worked there knew who I was by the sound of my voice after a while Grin

It might not have been an emergency as such, but was it time-critical for her if she needed the money?

Personally I think it's a bit bonkers that she needs to ring you at work to access money so she can go to the cinema! Doesn't she have a job/allowance/money of her own?

Yes it would have been time critical for her as she wouldn’t have been able to go without the money

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 19:08

Do you frequently get so worked up about absolute non-issues? Your daughter called the switchboard, literally no one at your work cares.

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:08

I just feel she should have waited for me to see her text/missed call on my personal phone instead of calling the switchboard

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 19:10

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:08

I just feel she should have waited for me to see her text/missed call on my personal phone instead of calling the switchboard

If you talk to her about it I'm sure she will next time. Good grief, op. Calm down.

alrightfella · 15/08/2022 19:10

If she's 17 doesn't she have a part time job? That would be my first thought. If not an allowance so she can budget.

Failing that leave some cash in the house?

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:11

Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 19:10

If you talk to her about it I'm sure she will next time. Good grief, op. Calm down.

Show quote history

Yeah I haven’t spoken to her yet as was going to try and calm down first

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 15/08/2022 19:12

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:08

I just feel she should have waited for me to see her text/missed call on my personal phone instead of calling the switchboard

This dynamic seems odd to me - kids can be self-obsessed and a bit impatient - were you never like that yourself?

Shinyandnew1 · 15/08/2022 19:12

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:08

I just feel she should have waited for me to see her text/missed call on my personal phone instead of calling the switchboard

…but as you say, she then would have missed the opportunity to go to the cinema.

I can imagine any bit of me would have been furious with my DC in that situation. It has had no impact on you at all.

I’d be pleased they were going out!

Augend23 · 15/08/2022 19:12

Why does she need to call you for money at 17?

Underanothersky · 15/08/2022 19:13

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:11

Yeah I haven’t spoken to her yet as was going to try and calm down first

Show quote history

Do you get this angry about every non issue?

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 15/08/2022 19:14

Crikey, I wouldn’t have been at all annoyed if that had been one of my DCs, let alone ‘fuming’’ 😳
Presumably apart from transferring some money there was nothing else for you to do?

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 15/08/2022 19:15

And as for ‘calming down’ 🙄

SleepingStandingUp · 15/08/2022 19:17

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:11

Yeah I haven’t spoken to her yet as was going to try and calm down first

Show quote history

So did you refuse to take the call so she missed the cinema any way?

I think you need to talk to her about money.

If you're happy to give her spends, then she shouldn't habe to wait until 5pm to ask you for some and thus miss out on going out.
If you've given her tons and shes wasted it then not taking the call and not paying for her to go is another matter

Shinyandnew1 · 15/08/2022 19:18

I had a friend in sixth form whose mum was very much like this-totally overreacted to really minor things, her DD used to be so annoyed by it. It really destroyed their relationship and I don’t think she visits home at all now.

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:20

SleepingStandingUp · 15/08/2022 19:17

So did you refuse to take the call so she missed the cinema any way?

I think you need to talk to her about money.

If you're happy to give her spends, then she shouldn't habe to wait until 5pm to ask you for some and thus miss out on going out.
If you've given her tons and shes wasted it then not taking the call and not paying for her to go is another matter

Show quote history

No it got put through to the phone in the meeting room so I took the call quickly and then transferred the money as soon as I could

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:20

So she did sort of disturb the meeting as well, I couldn’t not take the call as I didn’t know if it was an emergency or not until I spoke to her

OP posts:
CuriousCatfish · 15/08/2022 19:21

See,ma a bit OTT to be fuming. No harm done so I don't see the issue.

CuriousCatfish · 15/08/2022 19:21

Seems*

Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 19:21

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:20

So she did sort of disturb the meeting as well, I couldn’t not take the call as I didn’t know if it was an emergency or not until I spoke to her

And? The world is still spinning. Just ask her nicely to not do that again unless it's a true emergency.

TinaYouFatLard · 15/08/2022 19:23

Jesus. I dread to think how you’d react if she did something actually naughty.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 15/08/2022 19:23

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:07

Yes it would have been time critical for her as she wouldn’t have been able to go without the money

Show quote history

So what's the problem?

She needed to contact you and tried your mobile but you didn't answer. Maybe leave her some emergency cash at home if you don't want her calling you at work.

ImprobablePuffin · 15/08/2022 19:24

So you're allowed to take calls and you won't get in trouble. But you're fuming.

What's the actual problem here?

SeasonFinale · 15/08/2022 19:26

How come a 17 year old didn't have access to a tenner? (Maybe £20 if she needs fares too). Do you control her money?

Twawmyarse · 15/08/2022 19:26

She's still young. You didn't answer your mobile and she wanted to go out with her mates.

I think mildly annoyed yes - fuming is an overreaction and you sound a teensy bit self-important!

TowerRavenSeven · 15/08/2022 19:26

Yabu, for sure!