Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with DD

322 replies

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 18:55

For ringing the switchboard to speak to me while I was at work today!! To ask if she could go to the cinema with her friends this afternoon! She’s 17 if that makes any difference. She did try to ring and text my mobile but I was in a meeting! I just feel she should have waited for me to see her message or missed call instead of calling the switchboard in an effort to reach me

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:28

I still don’t think it’s appropriate for DD to have rang the switchboard though! It wasn’t an emergency

OP posts:
Sugarplumfairy65 · 15/08/2022 20:28

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 19:11

Yeah I haven’t spoken to her yet as was going to try and calm down first

Show quote history

Calm down? Don't be so ridiculous. Your daughter didnt do anything wrong.
Just tell her that in future, that number should only be used for emergencies

spagbog5 · 15/08/2022 20:29

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:04

She does get an allowance at the start of each week but I forgot to transfer it this morning/yesterday evening

Then this is really on you too isn't it .
Set up a standing order so she has her allowance weekly/ monthly.

Tee20x · 15/08/2022 20:34

Surely the issue is less to do with DD and more to do with her being put through? If your team knew you were in an important meeting, surely they wouldn't randomly be putting calls through to you unless it's an emergency? Obviously this isn't an emergency.

Furthermore, did she even know you were in a meeting?

I wouldn't be fuming over this, she wanted to go out so she tried to contact you. switchboard put her through. Hardly as if she came banging on the door of the meeting room, hauling you out by the scruff of your neck in front of everyone.

fallfallfall · 15/08/2022 20:34

You don’t sound compassionate or motherly. Regardless of your status, teens need to know their parents are available. Even in non emergencies. I’m sure you know how to multitask.

RenegadeMatron · 15/08/2022 20:36

fallfallfall · 15/08/2022 20:34

You don’t sound compassionate or motherly. Regardless of your status, teens need to know their parents are available. Even in non emergencies. I’m sure you know how to multitask.

To be honest, I’d probably be annoyed if this happened to me….

It’s just that it wouldn’t occur to me to post about it on Mumsnet (I mean?! Confused), and if I’d been the one who’d caused the issue by not transferring the money, I’d realise I was mostly responsible.

🤷🏻‍♀️

MissAmbrosia · 15/08/2022 20:37

Cor what a palava! I don't have a switchboard but I would always answer phone to dd unless in mega serious meeting in which case I would message call you back/urgent? Sounds like you need to have a conversation, but can't see any reason at all for you to be fuming.

Moonshine160 · 15/08/2022 20:40

I think you might be overreacting a bit. Just tell her not to do it again?

ancientgran · 15/08/2022 20:43

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:09

I’m not fuming with her for asking for the allowance. I’m fuming with her for ringing the switchboard instead of waiting for me to see her text/missed call on my mobile

Show quote history

But you've said it would have been too late if she'd waited. You forgot to send the money, it wasn't her fault. Did you want her to miss out on going out with her friends? Maybe leave an emergency fund somewhere for when you forget.

MangshorJhol · 15/08/2022 20:43

It’s MILDLY inappropriate. In the grand scheme of teenage things.

You forgot to transfer the money AND you admit that had she waited till the end of your meeting she would have missed the movie.

So not sure what she’s supposed to do?

I am still confused by why you are fuming. She made a mistake. We are all human. She got impatient. Because you didn’t transfer the money. If this is the worst your teenager has done this summer, then this is pretty good going no?

Absolutely baffled by the ‘I am fuming’ and ‘I will speak to her when I calm down.’

KosherDill · 15/08/2022 20:50

My dad died when I was in my late 30s and in all the time he was in the workforce I phoned him once at work, and that was related to my grandmother's health.

I grew up when phoning people at work was very taboo, outside of emergencies, so understand where you are coming from, OP. Needed money for the cinema is not an emergency.

At 17 I hope she is doing some housework in exchange for her pocket money.

PinkiOcelot · 15/08/2022 20:51

Hardly worth being fuming over. Bit of an over reaction surely!

SomethingVexesThee · 15/08/2022 20:52

There's no way this is real. In real life the admin team taking the call would simply have taken a message. Who puts a call through to a meeting room?! Try a bit harder next time OP

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:52

SomethingVexesThee · 15/08/2022 20:52

There's no way this is real. In real life the admin team taking the call would simply have taken a message. Who puts a call through to a meeting room?! Try a bit harder next time OP

She got put through because she asked to be put through and told them it was urgent!

OP posts:
sunsetsandsandybeaches · 15/08/2022 20:54

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:52

She got put through because she asked to be put through and told them it was urgent!

Show quote history

Because she's 17 and wanted to go out with her mates, and you forgot to transfer her her allowance. You say yourself that if she'd waited until you'd seen her text, it would have been too late.

This is 100% on you.

SunnyD44 · 15/08/2022 20:54

I’d be a bit annoyed but definitely not angry.

I’d have a chat about when to call the switchboard but I wouldn’t act angry because it’s good that she knows how to get hold of you when she needs you.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/08/2022 20:54

You're 'fuming'?

Seriously?

Does she have a part-time job or allowance? Time to cut the apron strings. Yours not hers.

NoSquirrels · 15/08/2022 20:54

Monthly allowance by standing order. Solves the whole scenario.

Nootella · 15/08/2022 20:55

I'm so confused. You've literally admitted had she waited for YOU to respond she would've missed the outing with her friends.

YOU forgot to send her allowance.

Had she waited she would've missed the opportunity.

Take some responsibility, set up a direct debit, and create some boundaries by having a discussion for future.

Original poster
Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:55

I assume she didn’t tell the admin team what was urgent about it, because it wasn’t urgent and she knows that!

OP posts:
SkirridHill · 15/08/2022 20:56

Yeah sorry OP, this is on you. FWIW I probably would've been mildly annoyed that she'd interrupted my meeting but would've accepted that it was my fault as a direct result of my not having transferred her allowance to her.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 20:56

Snowisallaround · 15/08/2022 20:52

She got put through because she asked to be put through and told them it was urgent!

Show quote history

To a 17 year old, this would be urgent. Give her a break, FGS. You're still worked up about this?

bloodywhitecat · 15/08/2022 20:59

You accidentally forgot to transfer her allowance, she called the switchboard because, to her, it was urgent. Makes you quits I reckon.

NoSquirrels · 15/08/2022 20:59

It was urgent to her. It was not urgent to you.

If she hadn’t called the switchboard and been put through she wouldn’t have known if she could go. She got no reply to her texts and so had no way of knowing if you’d seen her message.

If it didn’t embarrass you, didn’t get you in trouble or make you seem unprofessional or otherwise inconvenience you other than a 1-minute interruption it is such a non-issue. I mean, WHY are you bothered? If you can’t answer that then don’t bother speaking to her about it.

Jellybean23 · 15/08/2022 21:01

Don't you leave any cash in the house that she could have used, in anticipation you would have consented? Sounds like you keep her on a short lead.