To be fuming with DD

[Snowisallaround]

For ringing the switchboard to speak to me while I was at work today!! To ask if she could go to the cinema with her friends this afternoon! She’s 17 if that makes any difference. She did try to ring and text my mobile but I was in a meeting! I just feel she should have waited for me to see her message or missed call instead of calling the switchboard in an effort to reach me

This is the source of your embarrassment- a teenager demanding teenage stuff, it clashed with your professional world in the moment.

But no harm done.

Sort out the allowance, talk to her about what’s a genuine switchboard emergency issue and what’s just a failure to plan emergency and other ways she could have solved it (asked mates to loan money etc)

Was there anyone she could have asked to borrow from?

I'd be quite annoyed if the first thing she did was phone me &disturb a meeting tbh.

I don’t know if she asked her friends for money to borrow or not, but I will ask her if she did

Does she not have access to her own money?

I’m not embarrassed

Ir wasn't the first thing she did though. She tried her mums mobile first.

Well she tried all other options. I couldn't get angry about it, especially if it's not going to get you in trouble.

YABU for using the term fuming! Irritating as fuck!

Then I see no reason why you are "fuming". What's the problem? You didn't explain situations when it's ok to call, you won't get into trouble, no harm done 🤷🏼‍♀️

So she used a number you gave her, without telling her what she should or shouldn’t use it for, she used it, you popped out of a meeting for two minutes, and the consequences for you were ultimately zero, and you are so ‘fuming’ that you’ve had to start a Mumsnet thread on it?

Are you always as dramatic as this?! I think most people would mutter “Tsk, bloody teenagers” to themselves and then forget about it, to be honest.

Does she always have to ask you for money for stuff like a cinema ticket, or was this a one-off because her pocket money/wages had run out or something?

So if you weren’t embarrassed and you’re not in any trouble at work, why are you fuming? Why did you need to calm down?

Do you have issues with your anger management in general?

What's the problem? why would you be fuming about this?

She was trying to get hold of you and tried another method when you did not reply to calls to your mobile.

Maybe make sure she has enough pocket money for the week so she does not call you every time she needs something or suggest she gets a summer job to make her own money.

Frankly I can't see why anyone would make a big deal/drama of this.

I don’t have anger management issues

So why are you fuming? What exactly did she do wrong? How did she know you were in a meeting?

You know in 99% of business settings now that there’s an understanding that home and work sometimes collide. Even if she interrupted your meeting it must’ve been 30 seconds tops and you can just say “teenagers eh? Only want to know you if they want a lift or cash!”, everyone laughs and you move smoothly on. Instead you’ve got yourself into a ridiculous lather (that actually requires a calming down period) over absolutely nothing.

I realise you’re Very Important but I think you need to unclench.

You definitely have a problem with keeping things in perspective.

So you won't be in trouble for her calling

She had tried other methods before this

You've never told her not to call the switchboard

And yet you're still annoyed?

Goodness me

So why are you fuming over such a non-issue?

Id be really quite pissed off. Going to the cinema is not an urgent matter and certainly not something to disturb your work over. This is quite an overstep from home life into work. Yes texting your phone etc. fine but disturbing a work meeting to ask for money to go to a cinema is so self involved.

Hats off to her for thinking outside the box to contact you! Well done her, no harm done at all.

I think I'd be more annoyed that a 17 year old was phoning me to ask for money for the cinema. Doesn't she have money of her own (eg pocket money)? Do you just hand over more when she runs out? Honestly, you should have talked about this 5 years ago, along with a discussion on when it's ok to call you at work.

Massive overreaction.

I spent most of my teenage years with no mobile phone and had no choice but to call the switchboard if I needed to speak to my mum while she was at work!

Fuming is ridiculous. Kid thought it the pragmatic thing to do. How would she know if she has never used it before? Sounds like a polite child to me. I would never rush to bitch about my child on a forum for such an inconsequential matter! Poor kid!

Maybe right now she's writing on a forum 'Mum bitches about me on MN for no reason.'

I doubt her daughter knew she was in a meeting at the time. The daughter is a normal kid who wanted to go out with friends and needed to speak to her mum. Jesus. "Pissed off?" "Quite an overstep?" Fucking hell, how dramatic. You sound as tightly wound as the op.

Why doesn't she have her own money? At 17!

I mean j kinda get why you’re annoyed. She’s 17 and folk are acting like she’s 9 and doesn’t understand it’s inappropriate.

You are definitely ignoring all the posters asking why she doesn’t have any access to money.

i think this makes all the difference. If she needed you to transfer her allowance over (that you were Due to do that day/ had forgotten) or if you “looked after “ her part time wages or something then ri feel it’s justified really. If she’s spent her allocated money and jusy wants extra, that’s very cheeky and putting you in an awkward position.