Husband had a private lapdance

[Skye90]

On a stag do. Says he was so drunk he hardly remembers it. He wasn’t the only one but all the others are single.

Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

AIBU

All the outrage on the thread is about trust. Your OH should be able to restrain themselves on the grounds that they've decided to commit to you in some way also lap dancing is an art form. Bit grim that many of you see it as a sexual service.

Great user name!

😂

Some people may fall for it!

Ok, thanks for letting us know 🤔

This is a joke post isn't it?

No, it’s less than 5%.

Did you actually read where the 66% came from? and realise it doesn’t mean 66% of strippers are trafficked?

“Almost 66% of the human trafficking economy is from commercial sexual exploitation,..”

66% of all humans trafficked into the U.K. are for commercial sexual exploitation. Commercial sexual exploitation is usually prostitution:

”The Home Office estimates that there are up to 4,000 victims of trafficking for sexual exploitation in the UK at any one time.”

Per a 2016-17 Home Affairs Committee report “The number of sex workers in the UK is estimated to be around 72,800 with about 32,000 working in London.”

72,800 sex workers of which an estimated 4,000 were trafficked = 5% of all sex workers. The vast majority of trafficking for sexual exploitation is for rape off street. So it’s actually going to be a lower % of strippers than prostitutes trafficked, less than 5%.

That’s the link that goes to a homepage again with no research in sight

Meh

No, it’s less than 5%.

Well that's fine then. Only one in twenty lap dances is a trafficked one. Nothing to see here.

Private lap dances are cheating for me. The presence of money doesn't change the nature of the act.

72,800 sex workers of which an estimated 4,000 were trafficked = 5% of all sex workers. The vast majority of trafficking for sexual exploitation is for rape off street. So it’s actually going to be a lower % of strippers than prostitutes trafficked, less than 5%.

There is something inherently and obviously male about using a wall of text, with lots of lovely statistics, to justify getting your cock hard. It's almost primal.

Don't cheat on your partner without her prior approval. And make sure you aren't getting your cock hard using slaves. Raped slaves.

Probably? You don't think people should have deal breakers or boundaries?? I'm aware that if I cheated on DP he would leave me, and vice versa, what's wrong with that?

Is your partner stuck in the 80s? Who takes clients to lap dancing clubs?

What a toxic vile work environment?

Except, no body is saying they don't believe it happens, they're just saying they'd really rather their DH/DP not behave that way, it's hardly unreasonable is it? To hold your partner up to higher standards? Fair enough if some women don't mind it, but for me, if my partner got a lap dance he wouldn't be the man I thought he was. That doesn't make me stupid or naive, just means I have a high opinion of him. Not all men like or go to strip clubs, in the same way some women love male strippers and I couldn't think of anything worse. It doesn't have to be a bit fight of who's cooler than who or who's more naive than who. I don't give a crap about being cool 😎

Do people really think that stag dos and hen nights don't routinely involve outrageous behaviour?

No. Everyone is well aware of this. There are different types and levels of outrageous behaviour though. It's perfectly possible to get hammered, do daft stuff and yet not have a lap dance.

No one who works in the public sector, they would likely get sacked

How many of the women here have seen a male stripper at a hen do? How many have screamed at the male stripper to 'getemoff'? Yup

What yup?
Did you really think that was some kind of gotcha?

And no, never been to a hen do that had men (any) strippers.

I have done many many stupid things whilst drunk.
But up to today I have never paid a man to lap dance for me, nor have I paid for sex, or anything similar.

And its unlikely to ever happen now, for reasons.
Why is it an excuse here for lap dancing? If a man hit his wife and blamed it on drink he would be condemned and told to either leave or never drink again.
Why is lap dancing seen as a get out clause?
And any time I've seen this scenario posted here and elsewhere, it is always he got drunk and made a mistake, the same mistake many men make.
I dont believe it's a mistake. I think they know what they are doing and they figure, ask for forgiveness not permission.

And it’s a tradition that needs to end as far as I am concerned @winterlilies There are quite a few things that were traditional and are now seen as inappropriate and this should go the same way

Certainly didn’t happen at DH’s stag do or my hen.

Yes , goodness only knows why "it's traditional, innit" is getting trotted out as some sort of ultimate gotcha.

As for the 2 posters who are relaxed about their husbands' toxic work environment and toxic attitudes to client entertainment, I can only hope it's a wind up to annoy the "pearl clutchers' amongst us who don't live in "the real world"

Alternatively if it is real I hope a female employee takes these employers to an employment tribunal as the situation described is a slam dunk case of discrimination.

No they are very outdated thing now, get in the real world!

"traditions" change, thank god and this is why we don't have things like topless women in rag newspapers. Women are far more respected now, obviously you still get men that attend this crap, so they get an erection surrounded by their mates (which in itself I find weird!), and a few memories for their "wank bank" and to discuss with their mates. I really do not understand men that want a third party in their sex life, against their partners wishes.

You do realise that things evolve, move on and the degradation of women is hopefully reducing.

Tradition is really not a reasonable excuse, and I am in the real (everchanging) world.

Well some women are progressive and they are confident enough to set their own boundaries and not have society and traditions dictate to them what boundaries should be set in their relationships

we are well aware that some wish women not to be progressive

👏 👏