to be sick to death of people thinking they have to tell me how awfully painful childbirth is?

[betterhalf]

I am now 39+3 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and people just delight in telling me the horrors of childbirth! Today I had someone who knows my Mum say 'Has anyone explained to you how terribly painful it will be for you?'
Well, thanks for that love, you've really cheered me up! I was feeling nice and calm about the impending birth, knowing I will have pain but feeling confident I can cope, and now my confidence has been shot! Grrrrr

lol Habbibu

The pain of labour is worth it, just so you can experience that incredible, overwhelming feeling of relief that it is all over. That was the BEST feeling in the world for me

Johnsie - I did yoga for years beforehand and throughout pregnancy. Yoga teacher is overstating the benefits somewhat BUT yoga is v useful for childbirth - flexibility, stamina, and the ability to synchronise body and breath. the gas and air I did have did feck all to remove pain but I used it as an aid to pace and measure my breathing - v helpful.

Ha ha, Habbibu Funnily enough, I'd forgotten that little incident!

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I don't think anybody's description of it , whether in terms of pain or joy will ever match the reality for you.

I've spent my whole life with my mum telling me about the horrendous 3 day labour she had with me (I was an 11 pounder - [proud emoticon]), and she says the worst bit was that there was this conspiracy of silence about how painful birth could be, so she was not only totally unprepared, but also felt as if she was a bit of a failure for having such a hard time.

Having said that, I tried not go into too much horrific detail about labour with my friends who were pregnant, but it's hard if there are 2 or more women who have had babies in a room together, you just can't help yourself, it's like a bunch of old soldiers comparing war wounds!

I actually know of people that used the "technique" of "breathing" the Baby out...it just means that you don't actively push, but breath through your contractions instead....well...was gonna do that with ds 3...didn't work out, neihter did the Homebirth, ended up in Hossie to have an E-CS...but that was unlucky more then anything...
and I do actually know of a fair few women who didn't really experience labour pain, and until ds 2 I would have never believed them...but with ds 2 I had really only few labourpains that were painful...it was a longer labour, but all in all pleasant and calm...and maybe if they hadn't decided to break my stupid waters the last hour would have gone similar pleasant...but again...all easy in hindsight

lol habbi

Betterhalf - I wish you all the best .
My first (and only) DD born two years ago came in two hours and to be honest was so easy I couldn`t believe it ! Barely felt a thing - 7lbs 12 oz no stitches needed and would do it again this very minute .
Hope this helps - it is possible for an easy first time . Good luck !!

(Someone I met when I was PG was also PG with her second and told me that she had "just loved every minute of her DS birth " - I walked away thinking she was some hippie type loon - thinking who on earth can say they enjoyed childbirth ( I was preparing myself for the hell on earth type stories )- well I ate my words . So easy and I loved every minute............

Really hope you are so fortunate - GOOD LUCK xxx

It doesn't hurt a bit, not one little bit, nope, it's lovely, birds sing and bunny rabbits run in and you find yourself singing along with woodland creatures and...

Maybe it smarts a little...

I think you could probably breathe babies out if they grew up your nose.

But ppl like to share their misery! Or feel they've joined some 'badge of courage' club that needs to warn the uninitiated.

Btw my 2nd delivery was a pleasure!!

Oh Habbibu, NO fecker ever warns you about that ONE, do they!!?

Actually the best piece Iof advice, that I ever have received of my mum was :

Please, don't worry when you give Birth and it feels like it comes out the wrong opening....

I didn't appreciate it as much before then I did afterwards.
My poor mum, whilst giving Birth to my sis (her first child) got a bit worried, because well, you know that pressure you have when Baby is crowning...she thought my sister came out the backway (saying that, at that moment she was past caring where she would appear from, lol....but it must have been a frightening thought....

Actually, had had prior knowledge from a medical student a few years ago. Really did not want to know at the time! But what can you do? I did try to, ahem, "clear out" in early labour at home, but you don't want to push too hard, do you?

Well, yeah, labour hurts! But the key is to relax and try to go 'with' the contractions rather than fight them. That way, your body will kind of respond to what's happening to it. Moving around, being in water etc can really help a lot. You don't have to labour lying flat on your back on a bed you know! TBH, although it's not particularly helpful to be told how dreadful it's all going to be, I think it's equally unhelpful for women to just say 'ooh it'a a breeze, won't hurt a bit!'The most helpful advice I had was from a friend who told me yes it would hurt, but when it reached the point where i really thought I wouldnt be able to cope, then I'd be nearly at the end. Also, try to see every contraction as getting you nearer to the birth - imagine a big chart on the wall and with every contraction you cross one off... that really helped me. Oh and gas and air is fab!

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You can breathe the baby out. I did. Ds2 was 11lb and I did not need any stitches.

Aha, but I had a 48 hour back-to-back labour. You can't breath those buggers out

I wince for you.

About breathing out the baby, have a look at this.

YABU - it would do you a great disservice to leave your poorly equipped / mentally unprepared by pretending it is a piece of piss. Some labours are easy (my 2nd was) and some are not....

And for the record my first labour (26 hours, posterior delivery, forceps and ventouse and a baby who spent time in SCBU for respiratory distress) was sheer hell which plunged me into subsequent PND...

But perhaps I should say la la la it was lovely?

And your 5th post is naive. Sorry but I bridle at the inference that because you are a tough old bird you won't be telling anyone it was hard - I suppose mothers who report a bad experience are simply feeble....

I also think we get too hung up about pain relief, as if having a pain free birth = the best birth. I've known a lot of women who've had technically pain free births, numbed up with epidural, but they end up with 50 hour labours, drips, forceps, ventouse etc. They haven't necessarily felt great afterwards! Trolleydolley - I booked into a midwife unit for my first, where no epidurals were available - only two of us out of the eight in my NCT class did! The other six told us we were mad! I just replied that they must be mad to want to give birth in a huge understaffed hospital where they wouldnt know any of the midwives!! A birth can be painful but still good!

You don't want to hear it obviously, but most of the women who have reported on here that the pain is bearable (i agree for my 2nd child, it was bloody easy) have not had back to back deliveries (and so frankly don't know what labour pain can be). The pain in this case is not bearable.

If I go on to have a 3rd child and present, in labour, with a back to back baby, with the benefit of experience and hindsight I will be forcibly requesting an epidural from the 'get go'.

I would advise anyone who goes into labour and is informed that their baby is back to back, to do the same. Epidural pronto - don't bother with the heroics. This sort of information - forewarned is forearmed, is IMNHO (in my never humble opinion ) of some potential use, surely?

HMC, DS1 was a back to back 12 hour labour. So it's not impossible to have a pain-relief-free delivery with this presentation. My labour with him was harder than with DS2, but I think that had a lot to do with his 91st centile head as much as anything!

its bad but not that bad very tollerable[em just]and so very very very very very very worth it good luck