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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have abandoned my basket in the middle of Sainsburys and carried my screaming child out

178 replies

riotlady · 13/08/2022 15:43

I took my DD (4.5) out today for lunch at Greggs and to the cinema. Once we were done we went to Sainsburys to pick up some shopping, which generally she loves. In the car park she was refusing to hold my hand and bit me when I insisted on holding on to her. I warned her that if she couldn’t behave herself we would go straight home.

In the shop she was mostly fine, until she saw a display of Frozen dolls and started insisting that she wanted one, to which I said no. We had already had a conversation about how we weren’t getting any toys today and usually I say she can ask Santa for it if she still wants it at Christmas time (given that she’s 4 and it’s August I assume she will have forgotten by then!). Anyway, today she wasn’t having it and started throwing a fit, trying to grab the dolls and out them in the basket. I told her no and she sprinted away, at which point I left my basket in the aisle and ran after her. When I caught up with her (she’s fast!) I told her we were going home and carried her out of the shop screaming. I’m sort of in two minds about whether I did the right thing now- I’m glad I held my ground with her but I feel bad about leaving my basket for somebody in Sainsburys to sort out, and a bit embarrassed about causing a scene on the way out. Wibu?

OP posts:
WillPowerLite · 13/08/2022 19:04

She's only 4 - no one's expecting great impulse control. And tantrumming over a toy - not great, very wearing for her poor Mum, but pretty standard.

Hurting others, or putting herself at risk by running away - is unacceptable, though. As in, you cannot accept it and carry on. When possible - and I really do get that sometimes the shopping or whatever just has to be done - stop and impose whatever sanction you have pre-planned for biting/scratching/hitting.

I do sympathise - some days the dc really can try the patience of a saint! They all have their 'little shit' moments. Hope you have relaxed and recovered.

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 13/08/2022 19:08

Sending you some Flowers. I would send a hug but not in this heat …

PrimAndProperViperish · 13/08/2022 19:21

Berlinlover · 13/08/2022 18:49

I don’t think they’re serious 😂

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Deadly, deadly serious.

I actually work in Iceland, which means its too cold to incinerate, so we load it into a pristinely sanitised wheelie bin and fire it into orbit, from where we co-ordinate with NASA to do a controlled explosion on Aisle 82. This is code for 'outer space'.

Then we all wash our hands.

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 13/08/2022 21:01

PrimAndProperViperish · 13/08/2022 19:21

Deadly, deadly serious.

I actually work in Iceland, which means its too cold to incinerate, so we load it into a pristinely sanitised wheelie bin and fire it into orbit, from where we co-ordinate with NASA to do a controlled explosion on Aisle 82. This is code for 'outer space'.

Then we all wash our hands.

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And don't forget to sanitise the entire building.

Grin
Mississipi71 · 13/08/2022 21:20

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 17:07

No you come off it. Maybe they wouldn't object but it's the 'the staff will just have to put it back' attitude that annoys me. And the waste.

I think you would be shocked at the amount of food that's wasted from abandoned trolleys in supermarkets.

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You really are loving this aren't you?

Mississipi71 · 13/08/2022 21:24

riotlady · 13/08/2022 17:32

Even the non-refrigerated stuff? What’s the reasoning there?

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There isn't any

Vikinga · 13/08/2022 22:02

AdoraBell · 13/08/2022 17:57

You did the right thing. If you still feel bad about leaving the basket maybe call to store and apologise and explain it was a tantrum and you are teaching your DD about boundaries. Which you are, she pushed the boundary because she’s 4 yrs old and you showed her the boundary is firm. Well done.

Or if she still feels bad about the basket, she can pay for it. I bet she wouldn't have left it if it had happened after she paid for the items. Bloody shitty thing to do to abandon the basket. Especially if products have to now be destroyed. And yeah, we've all had tantrums kids and still managed to shop/clean/drive/do everything. It is normal.

Wellthatgotbetter · 13/08/2022 22:17

Wow a couple of posters on here clearly are so perfect they iron their knickers. I hope you have triplets and that they’re willfull bastards.

OP you did right.

Does anyone remember that thread where the poster was carrying a screaming child out over her shoulder and he was shouting to the staff “help me lady!”😁

Livpool · 13/08/2022 22:19

HannahSternDefoe · 13/08/2022 16:33

I abandoned a really full trolley at Morrisons in Caernarfon more than a decade ago...we were self-catering (2wks in a cottage) and needed everything from cereal, fairy liquid, loo rolls, etc to oven chips, pizza and ice cream. There would have been at least £150 in it now... (it was heaving) they opened a queue for welsh speakers only I've since learned basic welsh so I walked away and went to Tesco.

The ice cream could have ruined half of the items. Just because you CBA and had a tantrum that Wales is easier for Welsh speakers

Musti · 13/08/2022 22:24

Wellthatgotbetter · 13/08/2022 22:17

Wow a couple of posters on here clearly are so perfect they iron their knickers. I hope you have triplets and that they’re willfull bastards.

OP you did right.

Does anyone remember that thread where the poster was carrying a screaming child out over her shoulder and he was shouting to the staff “help me lady!”😁

Not perfect, just don’t take the piss with other people’s property. Again, if she feels bad , she’ll go back to the shop and pay for the stuff she spoiled. But I bet she won’t and I also bet she wouldn’t have abandoned the basket if she had already paid for it. And I have had plenty of kids throwing tantrums when shopping - completely normal. Still behaved like a responsible and considerate adult instead of letting other people deal with my crap

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 13/08/2022 22:25

Ah OP we’ve all been there. Sometimes when you have a tough moment in public the only thing to do is hot-foot it out of there

MightbeMaybe · 13/08/2022 22:33

@Musti it doesn't get wasted, the PP who said it was policy was talking out of their bum.

Most retail workers in this thread have said so and told the OP it's not a problem.

CoffeeLover90 · 13/08/2022 23:10

At 18 I worked in a local supermarket and I wondered why there were abandoned baskets and trollies. Now as a parent to a toddler I understand. It wouldn't have been left there long. It wasn't the worst thing, what annoyed me more was when people obviously changed their minds about buying an item and would dump it on a random shelf half way through their shopping, so you'll have a tub of pringles amongst the dog food. We keep being told to follow through and stick to our guns, you did. No wrong doing at all.

DixonD · 13/08/2022 23:19

She’s not a toddler though, so you can’t compare. She’s nearly 5!

You had to stand your ground with her and you did. But why is she still screaming in shops at nearly 5?!

DixonD · 13/08/2022 23:20

And she bit you!! She’s nearly 5!

mrsfollowill · 13/08/2022 23:23

Oh I remember tucking a rigid, horizontal screaming red faced 3 yrs old DS under my arm, abandoning a trolley (in the chilled isle) and marching out of Sainsbury's . He was a total nightmare that day - it culminated in him sticking his fingers into the plastic on a tray of mushrooms and throwing them at me. The wee shitbag.
We went home and I switched to online shopping. He is 20 now and a delight and would never throw mushrooms at me Grin

happinesslovescompany · 13/08/2022 23:33

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:49

Not great for the staff who have to put all the food back.

There's always one! Hmm

Whiskeypowers · 13/08/2022 23:53

Could have been worse
you could have had a trolley full

Original poster
riotlady · 14/08/2022 09:25

DixonD · 13/08/2022 23:19

She’s not a toddler though, so you can’t compare. She’s nearly 5!

You had to stand your ground with her and you did. But why is she still screaming in shops at nearly 5?!

The obvious answer is that it was hot, she was tired and she had an off day. If it was a regular occurrence I wouldn’t have needed to post about it!

She’s 5 in March.

OP posts:
Christmasfun2022 · 14/08/2022 16:26

My DD is the same age exactly and just came on to say I’m so glad I’m not the only one about tantrums over wanting a toy every time we go to the supermarket! The number of times I’ve told her we don’t have a toy every time we go there, and explained why. Doesn’t stop her trying her luck though. I would totally have abandond the shopping in that situation as they have to learn?

User8273738273737 · 14/08/2022 16:31

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:49

Not great for the staff who have to put all the food back.

@CuriousCatfish should the op just leave her 4yo daughter running amok in a supermarket, potentially go missing/hurt herself/be picked by a stranger so she can put the onions back in the fruit+veg section?

you’re a ridiculous wind up

User8273738273737 · 14/08/2022 16:35

Musti · 13/08/2022 22:24

Not perfect, just don’t take the piss with other people’s property. Again, if she feels bad , she’ll go back to the shop and pay for the stuff she spoiled. But I bet she won’t and I also bet she wouldn’t have abandoned the basket if she had already paid for it. And I have had plenty of kids throwing tantrums when shopping - completely normal. Still behaved like a responsible and considerate adult instead of letting other people deal with my crap

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@Musti you definitely iron your knickers. So perfect, prim and proper and considerate of everyone - except a fellow mother with a child who had run off in the middle of a supermarket.

Here‘s your medal and we’ll shortly start the round of applause in celebration of how marvellous you are

MightbeMaybe · 14/08/2022 17:03

Giggling at the iron your knickers stuff btw, my mother actually did do this! They walk among us!Grin

PetraBP · 14/08/2022 17:11

You were not unreasonable.

Unless she has any particular issues that’s out of order for 4.5.

Musti · 16/08/2022 08:36

User8273738273737 · 14/08/2022 16:35

@Musti you definitely iron your knickers. So perfect, prim and proper and considerate of everyone - except a fellow mother with a child who had run off in the middle of a supermarket.

Here‘s your medal and we’ll shortly start the round of applause in celebration of how marvellous you are

Show quote history

Nah. I don’t iron anything. Just a tantrum my child is perfectly normal and you just have to deal with it. Creating work for other people and wasting food is not dealing with it, is leaving someone else to deal with it. For years I shopped with 4 kids so this isn’t anything new to me. They’ve been tired, upset, cried, fought and bickered, ran off, touched stuff, wanted stuff - you make it. Distraction and rules and sometimes yes cutting a shopping trip short - but still paid for it or put it back.

Maybe getting her child to scan the products at the self serve till for example.