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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have abandoned my basket in the middle of Sainsburys and carried my screaming child out

178 replies

riotlady · 13/08/2022 15:43

I took my DD (4.5) out today for lunch at Greggs and to the cinema. Once we were done we went to Sainsburys to pick up some shopping, which generally she loves. In the car park she was refusing to hold my hand and bit me when I insisted on holding on to her. I warned her that if she couldn’t behave herself we would go straight home.

In the shop she was mostly fine, until she saw a display of Frozen dolls and started insisting that she wanted one, to which I said no. We had already had a conversation about how we weren’t getting any toys today and usually I say she can ask Santa for it if she still wants it at Christmas time (given that she’s 4 and it’s August I assume she will have forgotten by then!). Anyway, today she wasn’t having it and started throwing a fit, trying to grab the dolls and out them in the basket. I told her no and she sprinted away, at which point I left my basket in the aisle and ran after her. When I caught up with her (she’s fast!) I told her we were going home and carried her out of the shop screaming. I’m sort of in two minds about whether I did the right thing now- I’m glad I held my ground with her but I feel bad about leaving my basket for somebody in Sainsburys to sort out, and a bit embarrassed about causing a scene on the way out. Wibu?

OP posts:
AuntieMarys · 13/08/2022 15:44

Well done!

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/08/2022 15:46

Well done. Your dd has more chance of growing up to be a likeable and social person than many of the indulged.

Cotswoldmama · 13/08/2022 15:46

I think you did not he right thing and anyone working there would be understanding.

Sapphirensteel · 13/08/2022 15:47

I too had a crier/ I’m throwing myself on the floor NOW small child. Had to walk out of many a shop. Improved when they went to school.

NannyR · 13/08/2022 15:47

I would say you handled that exactly right. Don't worry about leaving the basket.

Londonrach1 · 13/08/2022 15:47

Exactly what you did. Well done x

LightandMomentary · 13/08/2022 15:47

Entirely correct response from you.

Hawkins001 · 13/08/2022 15:47

Doubtful your dd will remember this, but all the best op

Jojobees · 13/08/2022 15:48

You absolutely did the right thing. I hope you are ok, days like these are hard, but you gave a consequence and followed through.

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:49

Not great for the staff who have to put all the food back.

Tigerstripes1 · 13/08/2022 15:49

I have a 4.5 year old tantrum Queen too. Well done for sticking to your guns!

TheLion · 13/08/2022 15:50

I agree you did the right thing. I'd have probably tried to put the fridge/frozen things back but doing that whilst wrestling a toddler would not be easy.

I've not tried it myself but I've seen people on here mentioning a trick of if your kid asks for a toy you can take a picture of them with the toy and that sometimes defuses their tantrum.

CoraggioCara · 13/08/2022 15:50

This one's a parenting rite of passage OP.

YANBU

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/08/2022 15:50

You did the right thing, and we've all done it (I used to leave the basket with the till staff if I wasn't actually carrying DS).

She may learn something from it, if only that you mean what you say. But as for her behaviour, it's probably due to the heat so put it all behind you.

OhTheLeetleHandsAndFeetle · 13/08/2022 15:51

You did the right thing, OP.

Vikinga · 13/08/2022 15:52

No, you should have finished your shopping or put the items back. She didn't lose anything by you not getting your shopping.

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:53

Perhaps she was hot and bothered. I'd have offered to buy her an ice lolly if she started behaving.

I'm not sure taking her out of a supermarket will teach her anything. It's not exactly a treat.

gatehouseoffleet · 13/08/2022 15:53

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:49

Not great for the staff who have to put all the food back.

Wouldn't be great for them to have to listen to a screaming child, either.

They get awful headaches from all the criers, so I am sure they'd much rather put the food back!

Sparkletastic · 13/08/2022 15:53

You called that one perfectly IMO

GoAround · 13/08/2022 15:53

It’s shame that any fridge/freezer stuff will be destined for the bin now as the shop can’t verify how long it’s been out of the cold chain for but still, you definitely did the right thing.

Mindymomo · 13/08/2022 15:54

At that age, she needs to know if you behave you get things. Well done, we’ve all been there, if you don’t nip it in the bud, the same will happen again next time.

gatehouseoffleet · 13/08/2022 15:54

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:53

Perhaps she was hot and bothered. I'd have offered to buy her an ice lolly if she started behaving.

I'm not sure taking her out of a supermarket will teach her anything. It's not exactly a treat.

No, going to the supermarket isn't a treat, but a 4 year old is old enough to stop screaming and shouting when told. She didn't, so her mum did the right thing by taking her out (and for the sake of everyone else in there).

Also, supermarkets have loads of fridges and freezers in, so they are cool.

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 15:54

gatehouseoffleet · 13/08/2022 15:53

Wouldn't be great for them to have to listen to a screaming child, either.

They get awful headaches from all the criers, so I am sure they'd much rather put the food back!

Show quote history

I hope there was no frozen or chilled food in the basket. It will more than likely have to be wasted.

Bubbafly · 13/08/2022 15:56

i would have done the same! Good for you!

autumnboys · 13/08/2022 15:57

Absolutely the right thing.

When DS1 was a toddler we were at a thing I really enjoyed. He was being an absolute pill and I said ‘if you do that again, I’m going to take you home’ So he did and regretfully for me we had to go home. Following through is everything. I can’t bear listening to parent issue endless idle threats. I always want to lean over and say ‘even I am unconvinced that you’re about to take him:her home’