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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have abandoned my basket in the middle of Sainsburys and carried my screaming child out

178 replies

riotlady · 13/08/2022 15:43

I took my DD (4.5) out today for lunch at Greggs and to the cinema. Once we were done we went to Sainsburys to pick up some shopping, which generally she loves. In the car park she was refusing to hold my hand and bit me when I insisted on holding on to her. I warned her that if she couldn’t behave herself we would go straight home.

In the shop she was mostly fine, until she saw a display of Frozen dolls and started insisting that she wanted one, to which I said no. We had already had a conversation about how we weren’t getting any toys today and usually I say she can ask Santa for it if she still wants it at Christmas time (given that she’s 4 and it’s August I assume she will have forgotten by then!). Anyway, today she wasn’t having it and started throwing a fit, trying to grab the dolls and out them in the basket. I told her no and she sprinted away, at which point I left my basket in the aisle and ran after her. When I caught up with her (she’s fast!) I told her we were going home and carried her out of the shop screaming. I’m sort of in two minds about whether I did the right thing now- I’m glad I held my ground with her but I feel bad about leaving my basket for somebody in Sainsburys to sort out, and a bit embarrassed about causing a scene on the way out. Wibu?

OP posts:
ClocksGoingBackwards · 13/08/2022 15:57

You did the right thing. If it makes you feel any better about leaving the basket you could email them to explain and apologise, they probably have a facility for customer feedback.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/08/2022 15:57

You did exactly the right thing. The little dear left you with no choice. I would call the store to tell them about the cart and apologise.

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 13/08/2022 16:01

Good for you! I work in retail and we would have silently applauded you. And not minded putting items back at all x

Original poster
riotlady · 13/08/2022 16:07

Thanks for the reassurance everyone :) DD turned 2 at the start of the first lockdown so she didn’t really come shopping back at peak tantrum age, this was a new experience xD

No frozen food but there was a packet of cheese so hopefully that hasn’t gone to waste.

re: food shopping is not a treat- my DD genuinely loves doing the shopping, she asks to go all the time. I don’t let her get whatever she wants but often let her pick what kind of fruit we get, for example, so it’s usually a nice time.

Anyway I went home and deposited her with her dad, then went and did the shopping on my own in peace and sat in the car park for a bit with an emergency chocolate bar (which is when I posted). Feeling a little bit calmer now!

OP posts:
Justcallmebabs · 13/08/2022 16:08

Been there before, abandoned my trolley with a screaming 2 year old under my arm……

Pixiedust1234 · 13/08/2022 16:08

Thank goodness there are parents like you still around. Well done.

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 16:09

I hope your car has air con!

Sunnysundays33 · 13/08/2022 16:09

I did similar this week, child was being such a shit when shopping I paid for what i needed and left the treats (ice lollies and milkshake) by the checkout (I did tell the tesco lady)

bloodywhitecat · 13/08/2022 16:11

I would've done exactly the same thing.

Original poster
riotlady · 13/08/2022 16:11

CuriousCatfish · 13/08/2022 16:09

I hope your car has air con!

It does not, but I wound the windows down and the heat was a small price to pay for 10 minutes of serenity 😁

OP posts:
Siameasy · 13/08/2022 16:11

Been there! And worked in a supermarket we were always putting stuff back…who cares! The staff are paid

Bellyups · 13/08/2022 16:12

Round of applause from me x

3peassuit · 13/08/2022 16:13

I would have done exactly the same. That a tantrum is not rewarded is a good lesson for a 4 year old.

Theredjellybean · 13/08/2022 16:13

brilliant parenting , absolutely the right thing to do.
Greggs for lunch + cinema + shopping might have been overload and she was tired hence poor behaviour - she is only 4 , but you did everything right

Frustratedandsneezy · 13/08/2022 16:13

Right action. And from my supermarket days I can say that I’d rather put back a few items of shopping than listen to someone’s screeching child go on and on

PrancerandDancer · 13/08/2022 16:14

I was close to doing the same on Thursday. Picked DD 5 up from summer camp and was going to treat her to tea at supermarket (because...air con!) but due to strops all round the store, we did the essential bits we needed to get done then straight home. She was exhausted and I underestimated how much when I took her. Also, I have worked in a supermarket and would no way judge a parent for doing this, I would have empathy! You did the right thing!

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 13/08/2022 16:16

Don’t be embarrassed, every parent has been there. Some will have done that you did and some would have gave in for a quiet life.

CatsAreCrackers · 13/08/2022 16:16

Thank you OP for teaching your child there are consequences to such behaviour, we need more mums like you!

I've worked in a supermarket and would have been happy to return the items to the shelves under the circumstances.

And an even bigger well done for saving your sanity by passing your DD to your husband and then eating chocolate in the car. I think if more mums did this and looked after themselves a bit more, the world would generally be a happier place!

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 13/08/2022 16:17

been there, done that. youngest was about 3.5 and had been warned. lifted and left after placing and paying lol for mcdonalds. she never did it again. although I imagine heat has maybe got to your dc

Charlavail · 13/08/2022 16:19

When I worked at Tesco we bloody loved doing put backs and waste! Im sure there was someone pleased to do it. Me and DH used to fight over who got to do it.

StaunchMomma · 13/08/2022 16:21

Well done, OP!

You dealt with that really well. All kids try kicking off in public at some point. You dealt with it really well.

Discovereads · 13/08/2022 16:22

Been there and done that. Have two with autism so the screaming is a meltdown not a tantrum and it’s best to just go home fast as you can in that situation. She might have been over-tired as lunch out, cinema and shopping is a lot for a 4yr old.

Noseylittlemoo · 13/08/2022 16:23

I work in retail and I would totally excuse this reason for leaving your stuff to put back.
Far more than the ppl that get huffy and puffy if they have to wait in a queue and dump their stuff, or the ditherers who change their mind about half of their stuff once they've got to the till!

Berlinlover · 13/08/2022 16:24

I work in a supermarket and this happens all the time - don’t worry, nobody is judging you.

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/08/2022 16:25

I think (hope) that most people would appreciate that you are teaching your child boundaries and expectations.