To have abandoned my basket in the middle of Sainsburys and carried my screaming child out

[riotlady]

I took my DD (4.5) out today for lunch at Greggs and to the cinema. Once we were done we went to Sainsburys to pick up some shopping, which generally she loves. In the car park she was refusing to hold my hand and bit me when I insisted on holding on to her. I warned her that if she couldn’t behave herself we would go straight home.

In the shop she was mostly fine, until she saw a display of Frozen dolls and started insisting that she wanted one, to which I said no. We had already had a conversation about how we weren’t getting any toys today and usually I say she can ask Santa for it if she still wants it at Christmas time (given that she’s 4 and it’s August I assume she will have forgotten by then!). Anyway, today she wasn’t having it and started throwing a fit, trying to grab the dolls and out them in the basket. I told her no and she sprinted away, at which point I left my basket in the aisle and ran after her. When I caught up with her (she’s fast!) I told her we were going home and carried her out of the shop screaming. I’m sort of in two minds about whether I did the right thing now- I’m glad I held my ground with her but I feel bad about leaving my basket for somebody in Sainsburys to sort out, and a bit embarrassed about causing a scene on the way out. Wibu?

I would have brought her back in, ignored her and completed my shopping. Leaving sounds very dramatic

This. I'm a manager and we'd have had to waste off the whole basket. It would have been better if you'd found a member of staff to explain.

Not very often, but she does ask a lot so I find it easier to set the expectation beforehand. Although every time my mum looks after her she does tend to come home with sweets/toy/magazine!

Even the non-refrigerated stuff? What’s the reasoning there?

it is the only way for your Daughter to learn. Too many parents would have given in and bought the doll.

I think you did the right thing though it might have been better to hand it to member of staff so they can put stuff back on shelf.

When I worked in a supermarket 'un-shopping' was one of my favourite jobs. I loved it when people left a whole trolley full. It's a peaceful process and shoppers don't bother you with questions because they think you're doing your own shopping after work.

Don't feel bad!

I have done the same. At 4 it's unacceptable and potentially unsafe behaviour so she needs taught it won't be tolerated. Well done

Exactly.

Placing back a few items - 5 minute job.

Having to call police or worse still ambulance because a child is missing or even injured because they ran out of a store. A lot longer in time. Plus OP could have been accused of neglect for putting cheese above hers DDs welfare.

I worked an xmas job in Woolies many years ago (shows age ).

We often had to support parents dealing with tantrums over toys and the dreaded pic n mix by tidying up or returning items.

I just remember as a late teen thinking I hoped no one judged me when I was a parent and my kid did the same

When my dd was 2 she wanted something in a shop and I said no. She started crying and did her trick of throwing herself to the floor and going limp so it was almost impossible to pick her up. When I managed to she whispered in my ear ‘get it for me or I’m going to scream you’re not my mummy and they’ll arrest you’ I called her bluff but she started screaming at the top of her voice ‘this isn’t my mummy! This is a stranger! Please help me someone’

Was probably one of the worst things any of my dc have done . The level of manipulation at such a young age shocked me but she was a very very early talker and was clever and manipulative

Carried my DS out of the library under my arm 2012.

We've all done it op! Child under arm like a rolled up carpet.

I was only telling ds 14 about the time I did this with him the other day.

Oh, if anyone actually touches a product it has to be incinerated, it's in the Rules.

Been there, done it. Carried my child out rugby style 😂

Ex retail worker here. MUCH worse things happen to shop assistants in the course of a typical day, and this won't have greatly disgruntled anyone working there at all.

But I think you already knew that and are just having a humblebrag.

I'm sure the same thing has happened to lots of people....definitely me!

Well done. Been there, done that. I have 2 boys who know no means no, and I think it's because I did this when they were small.
Glad you got a break, some peace and chocolate later too.

I think you had to leave but I’d also say don’t underestimate how much the heat might have affected your 4yo. My 3yo played up in her swimming lesson this morning but has basically been asleep for most of the afternoon as I think she’s just massively overtired and struggling with the heat. If it’s out of character for your daughter, she’s probably hot and tired. At 4 they can still get totally overwhelmed and emotional so the disappointment combined with the heat and a busy day probably just tipped her over the edge.

Having actually worked in retail this wouldn't have bothered me at all

I saw one mum deal with this situation in the supermarket a few years ago, and was v impressed with her method.
The toddler - looked about 2 years old - was lying on the floor screaming in a tantrum.
Mother lay down beside him and started screaming too!
The toddler looked absolutely gobsmacked - then burst out laughing. Mum scooped him up, gave him a kiss and they happily carried on shopping. Genius!

I did exactly this with my 6 1/2 year old this week. Well done! They have to learn somehow.

Glad I’m not alone!!! Thanks everyone

@InPraiseOfBacchus surely if I wanted a brag I would have chosen to post about a time when my child wasn’t being a little shit? She does have good moments too!

You did the right thing. If you still feel bad about leaving the basket maybe call to store and apologise and explain it was a tantrum and you are teaching your DD about boundaries. Which you are, she pushed the boundary because she’s 4 yrs old and you showed her the boundary is firm. Well done.

Definitely this. Don't let them grow up spoilt brats. I would do the same with my own.

Pay no attention to that poster. I used to work in supermarkets and this wouldn't happen.