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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my Uber driver is following me

197 replies

Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:23

Please bear with me. I know this sounds ridiculous, however, I got an Uber home at around 3am in the morning last Saturday.

To be totally honest, I don't really remember too much about the journey home (I was a bit worse for wear after a friends birthday party.) I left my phone in the taxi and the driver returned it to me the next day. I hadn't contacted Uber, he just turned up at about 10am. I was super grateful as I had no idea where I'd left it.

I then saw him again outside my flat (I live in the middle of a major city so this isn't unusual in itself) and he was looking up at my window. The same thing happened the next day. I wfh and my desk is by the window hence me noticing.

I brushed both of these incidents off as a coincidence, however, he's just turned up at my flat door tonight (9pm) asking if I have booked an Uber. I haven't. He's now sitting in his car outside and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

OP posts:
PanicAtTheBigTesco · 12/08/2022 22:05

Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:55

I'm sorry that happened to you @InquiringMinds 😞 thanks for the advice. I've made the report via Uber.

He's still outside - I've taken pictures. I'm on hold with 101.

Thanks everyone. These situations can feel very lonely when you're by yourself. My closest friends and family live hours away and I don't want to worry them at this time of night unless absolutely necessary.

Please make someone who knows you IRL and knows where you live aware of this tonight, I'm not one to get hysterical on MN and don't want to make you feel worried but think it's a good idea to do this just to be on the safe side.

user1583920194858592910103848559201 · 12/08/2022 22:07

Are any of your neighbours in op? Could you pop round there for a brew or a gin?

ScarlettnotOHara · 12/08/2022 22:08

No that’s a huge coincidence!! Report him !!

Elsanore · 12/08/2022 22:09

Check inside the phone case or cover for an AirTag, tile or other horrible little tracking thing.

MotherOfRatios · 12/08/2022 22:10

Something similar happened to my friend except she didn't leave her phone he stalked her and then figured her flat number out, this was in London

did you have your flat number in the Uber details?

sending love

Macaroni1924 · 12/08/2022 22:13

Nah that’s incredibly creepy and too much to be coincidental. Glad you are reporting it op have your got through on 101 yet? If he has genuinely done nothing wrong he will be able to explain/prove why he is sitting there. Hope your ok nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable on your own home.

alotoftutus · 12/08/2022 22:13

You definitely don't sound ridiculous- don't doubt yourself. Women have a strong intuition for a reason don't ignore it!

Is your flat secure?

I would make sure someone in your life with your address is aware and give them a code word. If you need them to call the police for you at any point make them aware you will text them the word or call and hang up. If there's no one in your life that can be that person you are more than welcome to message me and I will give you my number. (I promise I am a completely normal person - just a mum that has had to use this tactic before).

Stay alert and definitely don't underestimate this. If it's nothing great, if he's a predator then you are taking the steps to protect yourself x

Original poster
Mackes · 12/08/2022 22:13

I'm still on hold but he's gone now. I turned all my lights out.

I don't know my neighbours very well but there's a couple next door who I speak with occasionally.

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 12/08/2022 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Poppyseed14 · 12/08/2022 22:16

I'd be inclined to ring 999 if you see him at your place again OP.

Hiddenvoice · 12/08/2022 22:16

I’m glad you are reporting him. As a pp has suggested, please make someone irl aware of this. Knock on your neighbours door or message a friend just so someone else is updated. Might be a good idea to say to your neighbour and they could keep an eye out too.

Thewheelsfalloffthebus · 12/08/2022 22:18

I bet the people in your world have other ways of dealing with creepy stalkers though. Probably involving close male relatives paying a visit to the creep to warn him to knock it off? Some of us live in worlds where it’s better to report this stuff to the employer and/or Police.

Original poster
Mackes · 12/08/2022 22:18

alotoftutus · 12/08/2022 22:13

You definitely don't sound ridiculous- don't doubt yourself. Women have a strong intuition for a reason don't ignore it!

Is your flat secure?

I would make sure someone in your life with your address is aware and give them a code word. If you need them to call the police for you at any point make them aware you will text them the word or call and hang up. If there's no one in your life that can be that person you are more than welcome to message me and I will give you my number. (I promise I am a completely normal person - just a mum that has had to use this tactic before).

Stay alert and definitely don't underestimate this. If it's nothing great, if he's a predator then you are taking the steps to protect yourself x

That is very kind of you, thank you!

OP posts:
Thewheelsfalloffthebus · 12/08/2022 22:18

Previous message was in reply to SunnyQueen, obviously.

AnxietyLevelMax · 12/08/2022 22:19

I am not sure if anyone gave u this advice already but i would take pics every time he is there. Just in case…

sjpkgp1 · 12/08/2022 22:20

He can't get in easily unless you answer the door again - so be comforted by that. And yes UBER drivers may operate in a certain area, so he could be waiting for his next job tbf. But hell yes, I agree with other posters, there are too many red flags for you to do nothing, and letting someone know IRL is helpful (you don't need to phone your family, just someone who is close and who will care) as well as your actions via official services (and uber) are warranted. Don't think that you are being a nuisance, your concern is completely justified. Always better that it is some sort of misunderstanding, no-one minds that. xx

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 12/08/2022 22:23

Hope you’re ok op, can you knock on your neighbour and just let them know what’s happened

peonyjam · 12/08/2022 22:23

I hope you're okay OP. I had quite an unsettling experience with an Uber driver a few years ago and I have to say Uber didn't do very much at all apart from promise he wouldn't pick me up again. I did go to the licensing part of the local council and they were incredible and took it very seriously. I would report there too. They can also liaise with the police. You may not be the first person he has done this to.

AliceS1994 · 12/08/2022 22:23

Are you safe? This is no coincidence and you need to be safe tonight. Does someone in real life know what's happening? Really don't want to worry you unnecessarily or cause hysterics but this is potentially a dangerous situation and you need to stay safe.

Moonflower12 · 12/08/2022 22:24

I'm glad you've reported this.

My son's girlfriend had this. Unfortunately for the Uber guy, she worked for the police and reported it.

Sunnyqueen · 12/08/2022 22:24

Thewheelsfalloffthebus · 12/08/2022 22:18

I bet the people in your world have other ways of dealing with creepy stalkers though. Probably involving close male relatives paying a visit to the creep to warn him to knock it off? Some of us live in worlds where it’s better to report this stuff to the employer and/or Police.

If you see my first comment I said she needs to report it, someone actually in danger absolutely should. I made my initial comment about how i am not one for grassing but would in the instance, to drive home to op she shouldn't feel guilty for reporting it and it is serious enough to warrant reporting.

allboysherebutme · 12/08/2022 22:26

@Mackes
Unsolicited contact after your trip is appropriate, the first time was okay returning your phone but not each time after.

Call the police if he is still there and give them the reg.
Also if you go out this weekend please don't get drunk and keep your wits about you.
Get a different taxi if you need one no Ubers, black cab if you can in your area. X

Efrogwraig · 12/08/2022 22:28

Report to your local council's taxi licensing dept. They will take this v seriously. If necessary, get your local cllr as support.

Benjispruce4 · 12/08/2022 22:29

How worryingly for you. These things always seem to happen at night and when you’re alone. Glad you’ve reported. I agree with others about letting a friend know and also the neighbour couple.

allboysherebutme · 12/08/2022 22:31

I'd call 999 you probably won't get though on 101. Give them his reg tell them he's gone but you are worried he will come back in between jobs. Don't leave it he's very odd. X