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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my Uber driver is following me

197 replies

Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:23

Please bear with me. I know this sounds ridiculous, however, I got an Uber home at around 3am in the morning last Saturday.

To be totally honest, I don't really remember too much about the journey home (I was a bit worse for wear after a friends birthday party.) I left my phone in the taxi and the driver returned it to me the next day. I hadn't contacted Uber, he just turned up at about 10am. I was super grateful as I had no idea where I'd left it.

I then saw him again outside my flat (I live in the middle of a major city so this isn't unusual in itself) and he was looking up at my window. The same thing happened the next day. I wfh and my desk is by the window hence me noticing.

I brushed both of these incidents off as a coincidence, however, he's just turned up at my flat door tonight (9pm) asking if I have booked an Uber. I haven't. He's now sitting in his car outside and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

OP posts:
hudndkdn · 12/08/2022 21:43

Ring 101.. log it down. Tell them his reg plate!

ClasslessLady · 12/08/2022 21:43

Stalker behaviour, report it.

helloisitmeyourelookingfor · 12/08/2022 21:44

@Mackes

It's unsolicited contact but report to the police too

alwpsj · 12/08/2022 21:44

Unsolicited contact is the obvious one

ChesterWoo · 12/08/2022 21:44

Unsolicited contact after trip fits the bill.

Sooverthisnow · 12/08/2022 21:44

I would class that as “actions that were discomforting” OP

hudndkdn · 12/08/2022 21:44

Unsolicited contact after the trip

Original poster
Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:46

Okay, I'll go for that. I just feel like because he returned my phone that it wasn't really "unsolicited" but I know I'm probably being stupid. I know what I'd advise a friend in the same situation... I need to get a grip!

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 12/08/2022 21:46

It is Unsolicited contact.

Have to say the one time I reported concerns to Uber, they were quite good and got immediately in contact with me.

While nothing criminal had happened - yet - they took the behaviour seriously and said it would be recorded on his record to check for any pattern in behaviour. A reminder on appropriate behaviour would also be sent.

LimeTwists · 12/08/2022 21:48

I’d probably go with the ‘uncomfortable actions’ or ‘unsolicited behaviour after’ option. You quite clearly didn’t book a second Uber so what are the chances of 1) there being an error where someone filled in your address to book a cab AND 2) him being the one to be receive the booking AND 3) it happening the next day after you first rode with him AND 4) after you see him hanging around outside on two other occasions. I’d say almost entirely impossible. Report him without hesitation. It’s stalker-like conduct.

InquiringMinds · 12/08/2022 21:48

Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:23

Please bear with me. I know this sounds ridiculous, however, I got an Uber home at around 3am in the morning last Saturday.

To be totally honest, I don't really remember too much about the journey home (I was a bit worse for wear after a friends birthday party.) I left my phone in the taxi and the driver returned it to me the next day. I hadn't contacted Uber, he just turned up at about 10am. I was super grateful as I had no idea where I'd left it.

I then saw him again outside my flat (I live in the middle of a major city so this isn't unusual in itself) and he was looking up at my window. The same thing happened the next day. I wfh and my desk is by the window hence me noticing.

I brushed both of these incidents off as a coincidence, however, he's just turned up at my flat door tonight (9pm) asking if I have booked an Uber. I haven't. He's now sitting in his car outside and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

You need to report him to the police first and get a public protection officer assigned to you. They wear plain clothes, no uniform. Trust me, I speak from experience. His behaviour is leading to a nightmare situation. After the police, report him to Uber. If you have a male friend or family member you trust 100% get them to report what’s happening to Uber. Please don’t take this situation lightly. I was assaulted due to being stalked like you.

VenusFairy · 12/08/2022 21:50

Definitely police.

If you have no one who can stay, can you go and stay with someone else??

Ukholidaysaregreat · 12/08/2022 21:50

Returning the phone was nice. Its the 3 other times he has turned up at your flat that are unsolicited behaviour. Especially knocking on your door. Report. Stay some where else if it would make you feel better.

CinderellaFant · 12/08/2022 21:51

Definitely sounds creepy and stalkerish!

Moonface123 · 12/08/2022 21:54

He could be checking to.see if anyone else is there in your flat, please report OP , can you get a friend to come over?

MadeForThis · 12/08/2022 21:55

Unsolicited contact.

Note the times he was outside and Uber can trace if he was on a legitimate job.

Original poster
Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:55

I'm sorry that happened to you @InquiringMinds 😞 thanks for the advice. I've made the report via Uber.

He's still outside - I've taken pictures. I'm on hold with 101.

Thanks everyone. These situations can feel very lonely when you're by yourself. My closest friends and family live hours away and I don't want to worry them at this time of night unless absolutely necessary.

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 12/08/2022 21:56

I can see why you'd be tempted to think he's there to pick someone up what with you living in a city BUT he's just made an excuse to come to your door AND he's been sitting looking up at your flat!

He sounds creepy as hell, OP.

I agree that you need to speak to uber and/or the Police. In the meantime, do you have a chain on your door? A security camera? A ring doorbell? Any huge male friends who could come round and scare him off?

phishy · 12/08/2022 21:57

Sunnyqueen · 12/08/2022 21:42

My general rule is never grass about anything unless someones safety is likely in danger and I'm saying report it.

That’s a shit rule. Something teens do.

Thatiswild · 12/08/2022 21:59

Glad you’ve reported it. As everyone else has said if you have a lock on the door put it on and I’m sure the police will come over as soon as you speak to them, so sorry you are having to deal with this alone.

gelatogina · 12/08/2022 22:00

I’m so glad you’ve contacted the police, you’ve done the right thing this is very creepy behaviour!

TwoMonthsOff · 12/08/2022 22:01

It’s a bit ambiguous but if go for ‘unsolicited contact’, there may be an area for expansion, doesn’t really matter though don’t overthink it, it does need raising as you genuinely feel ‘off’, it will make you feel better and it’s always ‘better safe than sorry’ isn’t it ?

Droughtpout · 12/08/2022 22:02

That sounds really scary, hope you're okay OP. Do you think he could have compromised your safety at all on Saturday night? Sending big hugs and I hope that he leaves soon.

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/08/2022 22:03

Mackes · 12/08/2022 21:42

This is what comes up when I try to report to Uber. I don't think any of these are appropriate?

It's 2 OP - turning up at your door is aggressive and threatening behaviour, obviously. How can you not see this?

Tick that box and write down what happened in every detail.

YukoandHiro · 12/08/2022 22:04

Report it to Uber and the police