Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

Women's anuses are no different than men's- what nonsense!

But they are different (unless I misread your comment). From the article:

However, women who engage in anal sex are at greater risk from it than men. “Increased rates of faecal incontinence and anal sphincter injury have been reported in women who have anal intercourse,” the report said.
“Women are at a higher risk of incontinence than men because of their different anatomy and the effects of hormones, pregnancy and childbirth on the pelvic floor.
”Women have less robust anal sphincters and lower anal canal pressures than men, and damage caused by anal penetration is therefore more consequential.
“The pain and bleeding women report after anal sex is indicative of trauma, and risks may be increased if anal sex is coerced,” they said.

"Women's anuses are no different than men's- what nonsense!"

Thats' not what the British Medical Journal is saying.

However, women who engage in anal sex are at greater risk from it than men. “Increased rates of faecal incontinence and anal sphincter injury have been reported in women who have anal intercourse,” the report said.

“Women are at a higher risk of incontinence than men because of their different anatomy and the effects of hormones, pregnancy and childbirth on the pelvic floor.

“Women have less robust anal sphincters and lower anal canal pressures than men, and damage caused by anal penetration is therefore more consequential.

I've never had a problem and have been doing it since my teens but if you're not comfortable with it then don't do it.

@11GrumpsaGrumping - I believe in the article the colorectal surgeon says that women are more at risk of injury due to the anatomy of the pelvic floor, different dimensions, hormones, childbirth.

These factors in addition to men going in without preparation (even if they have gained consent) make it a bad situation. Like for STIs, Better information for women and men on the risks and how to reduce them, will allow them to make informed decisions and practice as safely as possible if they wish.

I tried it when I was about 19 because my ex boyfriend went on and on and on and on about it and wouldn't let it drop, even though I didn't want to and in the end I gave in to the pressure. It was absolutely horrible, it felt literally like doing a shit backwards. I never allowed it again. And thankfully my current DH has never once suggested it in our 17 years together - he would run a mile. I will be making damn sure my DD knows not to give in pressure from any partners she has in the future. That, and the craze for choking which is even worse imho.

Pushing the boundaries all the time, that's what porn culture does. Vaginas are so last century - get with the programme and shut up and enjoy risking long term injury. Same with choking - shut up and enjoy it you prude.

If you have the stomach for it (massive trigger warning) take a look at the We Can't Consent to This website. Women who have been murdered by men claiming the "rough sex" defence.

Their body, their choice

Me & DP like it.
Not all the time, maybe once a month

I had been warned by a gay friend about the risks for women so I'm very mindful of that

People should be able to choose their sexual practices and not feel shamed (like on this thread)
If there are 2 consenting adults who enjoy it then MYOB

If you have to address this for women and girls - you too have to address it for young gay men. So we can't, because it is verboten.

Except no one owes you validation of that, or to normalize it for you.

I am not going to pretend it comes under the remit of “everyone does it” putting my own children at risk of (a) physical damage and (b) coercion so that you can think your something special or interesting when, frankly, you’re neither.

Pretty sure this has been a problem for women (boys/slaves/children) since the beginning of time so all our issues and attempts to outlaw it were probably 'progress'. We will eventually come back to the same conclusions that it's physically unhealthy, dangerous and a form of sexual coercion for women. Liking it doesn't mean squat in the bigger scheme of things - if you normalise it culturally there are consequences.

We just go round in circles. Sexual liberation and back again.

Only if they are informed of the consequences. And currently they are not.

I have worked in the field of sexual health for almost 20 years and had never previously heard about an increased risk to women due to anatomical difference- interesting and I will do more research, as it is possible a lot of educational resources need to be updated.

We seen no end of damage, to both men and women, upon whom anal sex has been forced, and/or who have consensually engaged in anal sex without adequate knowledge of how to do it safely.

Equally we see younger and younger girls and boys wanting to try it and believing it is standard sexual practice- so the messages we try to drive home are around safely, consent, choice, and we talk a lot about the impact of porn on expectations and norms.

One of the key messages I would give to parents is that young people often watch porn for education; yes they do at times enjoy it, but they often want to know how to do things, what sex is, what their bodies should look like, how to please their partner, etc. so rather than all of this pearl clutching around "oh my god anal", I'd say the best thing you can do is try and counteract the shite they see on porn with real, up-to-date knowledge and information. It's critical from a much younger age than you would expect. The porn industry sadly isn't going anywhere and so we as parents (and in my case as an SRH expert) we need to intervene regularly, early, and responsibly.

Tbh I think 'sexual liberation is a bit of an oxymoron', I think the end result is sexual slavery.

But those who aren't informed of the risk, can't give informed consent.

The issue raised in this article is that people are ignorant of the risks. Men have grown to expect it, and women aren't aware of the damage they could be experiencing.

I’m 27 and have on one occasion had a man start choking me without asking if it was something I wanted and to a pressure that left a mark. I also had one guy try and spit in my mouth and not understand why I didn’t want that. Thankfully I’ve mainly been in long term relationships with nice men so those are two isolated experiences but I have similar age friends with some right horror stories. I do wonder if as many men were like this before the generations that grew up on porn!

@excitingusername what do you mean? Why can't we address the risks of anal for gay and bisexual MSM?

I think you'd be surprised to know there is a ton of information supporting safer anal sex in the MSM community.

Equally a lot of MSM don't have anal sex full stop, or don't receive penetrative anal sex.

Porn for MSM is just as damaging as porn for non-MSM- themes are very similar!

So why can't we address "gay sex?" Or is this just your opinion totally unfounded in fact?

If men want a different sensation fine. There's the cheese grater, spiraliser and vacuum cleaner attachment to experiment with

@11GrumpsaGrumping

If you really do work in the sexual health field, do you really think calling other’s ”pearl clutcherers” is good or healthy thing?

@FreudayNight around 25% of heterosexual couples routinely have consensual anal sex.

Surprisingly not a hugely dissimilar figure to MSM.

It's usually the 4th or 5th most common sexual act reported- after oral on a penis, oral on a vagina, penetrative vaginal sex, and mutual masturbation. I believe it is similar in frequency to using sex toys. I'd need to check.

So no one is being "validated". It can be a perfectly normal part of someone's sex life- so we need to understand and manage risk.

Both men and women have assholes, although maybe you don't.

Also, I'm not saying you husband is a liar, he may well be repulsed but I wouldn't take a man's word for it, particularly if he knows you despise it. All men say they don't like a finger up the bum but...

Boys need to be taught about enthusiastic consent. Anything less is at best coercion and at worst assault.

I have two boys. I will be teaching them that porn is not real life as well.

I was anally raped when I was 22. The man I was dating simply took his penis out of my vagina and into my arse in one thrust. I was in pain for days and had medical problems for years. It took me a long time to realise it was rape. I was embarrassed, got no medical assistance, and ended up needing an operation when I was 28.

I had an ex, who thought he was a bad boy, who insisted til his last breath it was gay and yet asked for a finger up the bum weeks later. Men are damn liars, believe me.

@picklemewalnuts I can tell you with certainty a lot of people are equally unaware of the risks of vaginal and oral sex, as well as mutual masturbation and sharing sex toys. People can give consent without being aware of the risks, on both sides. It's about education of the risks so that consent is more informed. It's not like men know the risks and are hiding them from women.