Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

@TullyApplebottom Well, yes. It's hard to square the circle of advocating for an activity that hurts women because you enjoy it yourself.

If anal sex is to be discussed in school with boys and girls I absolutely do believe that boys and girls should be told that the majority of women don’t like it because it can be and often is painful because that is a fact

this is a discussion with children, their bodies have not fully developed, they are easily manipulated and girls in particular are often targeted by older men who will manipulate them sexually

a girl should not be having anal sex if she feels shame about having anal sex it’s because she isn’t emotionally old enough to fully understand her boundaries that is what needs to be addressed (and more to the point why would anyone expect her to be having anal sex) understanding your boundaries comes with maturity anal sex is pushing boundaries

i think this is nonsense. I don't think people are bothered about the sexual practice at all, provided that it's not normalised, in other words becoming a mainstream 'expected' part of sex. That's because it then becomes a question of 'everyone does it, so why don't you?'. Unfortunately those who do practise it want it to be normalised to validate their feels. That's what I object to.

If people want to do it consensually then just carry on. But, no, that's not enough, they have to be validated and not shamed. And that's where it starts to be impossible to state the risks and the fact that it doesn't have to be expected and it's not really mainstream and some women find it degrading and painful. The fans don't want to accept that, again cos of their feels. Well sorry but I'm all about protecting young women and vulnerable women from feeling pressurised. And it offends a few people, then tough.

I agree Pinkspice

we can’t kink shame either now apparently

again it’s eroding the boundaries and dignity of women through normalising often harmful and dangerous sex acts

Hear hear 👏

Hear hear PinkSpice. Laughable that the people on here who like to have anal sex claim those of us who think more like you are trying to make it "all about ourselves". We don't actually care what you get up to in your spare time - but don't try to dress it up as completely normal and natural and harmless - it isn't. Deal with it.

Well said pink

@excitingusername

Why we have to fall over ourselves in the first place to be fair to the bumsex brigade in our education -the idea that we have to have an empathetic, 'rightthink' response to dangerous and repugnant sexual behaviour is the dystopia we're already in. The small minority prove that they are not willing to simply be 'tolerated' and keep it in the bedroom, they demand sycophantic affirmation from those who find it to be undesirable.

Their right to 'not be shamed' as they engage with behaviour most find repulsive, trumps the needs of women and children's physical and emotional health and wellbeing. And adding to that it's ultimately so we don't offend a certain demographic - so yet again male sexual gratification is the most important thing over the sexual health and wellbeing of women and girls.1

100% THIS!

@gnilliwdog

All those people talking about women just needing to do it safely, to practise, that it's normal, healthy and everyday. That's what so many here are arguing against.

EXACTLY!

@Pinkspice

I don't think people are bothered about the sexual practice at all, provided that it's not normalised, in other words becoming a mainstream 'expected' part of sex. That's because it then becomes a question of 'everyone does it, so why don't you?'. Unfortunately those who do practise it want it to be normalised to validate their feels. That's what I object to.

If people want to do it consensually then just carry on. But, no, that's not enough, they have to be validated and not shamed. And that's where it starts to be impossible to state the risks and the fact that it doesn't have to be expected and it's not really mainstream and some women find it degrading and painful. The fans don't want to accept that, again cos of their feels. Well sorry but I'm all about protecting young women and vulnerable women from feeling pressurised. And it offends a few people, then tough.

As a few others have said. Well said pinkspice.

Also, not gonna lie, I am tickled pink that people are using my saying - bumsex brigade!

Yet more irrelevant wittering. Individual preferences of some posters have absolutely nothing to do with what the content of education on this issue should be.

I'd say this thread has the rudest posters I've ever come into contact with.

"Yet more irrelevant wittering" 🙄

But Ironically the individual preferences of some posters are totally influencing what the content of education on this issue should be. Think about it. 😁

*Wanting to protect and educate women and young women in particular around the risks of anal sex, coercion, consent and just only doing what they want to do. Being horrified by the rolling sea of porn that is wrongly 'educating' and normalising more niche sex acts like anal sex is not. fucking mutually. exclusive with not wanting to openly put down and shame women on a random internet forum.

But some posters can't wrap their heads around that.*

Leave you all to it. Nite

Mic drop to Pink then!

@Pinkspice perfectly put, well said

Translation: people have pointed out that my arguments are irrelevant, illogical and self-serving. This makes me feel bad. I am therefore flouncing.

Thank goodness for that! Like a dog with a bone!

And that's why we need humour and freedom of speech 😁Very effective stuff for truth. I am sorry you weren't credited, I wasn't sure when it started! 😂

I think some women pride themselves on being more sexually adventurous

I know that some love anal and BDSM as they love to tell others

yet I know nothing much about other couples sex life apart form they don’t like anal or BDSM neither do I want to know

there is no doubt that many women are coerced into degrading and dangerous sexual acts I think some are possibly trying to convince themselves rather than others

What I find odd is an insistence on ignoring the overall pattern to put forward what benefits them individually.

I have no interest in what consenting adults do. But when my 14 yo DD tells me "everyone likes choking, it's the new thing, you are just old" THEN i have an interest. Fuck that shit if my daughter is growing up thinking dangerous sex is normal.

Keep your risky sex to yourself and don't insist that we make it normal to avoid shaming people.

@Pinkspice absolutely - it's the normalisation of all kinds of things that I personally think are causing a complete lack of respect and standards in many men (not all I know) towards women , we see it in women posting about on line dating and men sending sexual messages and dick pics rather than a 'nice to hear from you , what films do you enjoy' ? We hear about some of the expectations many men seem to have about sex these days, a lot of it seemingly coming from porn culture and women in long term relationships who aren't ok with sleaze and porn in their relationships basically being told by both men and women to 'lighten up- it's normal' personally I don't give a monkeys if some women in here enjoy this practice - however I think it's important to understand that many don't and don't want To feel pressurised into it- because it's now seen as 'normal we all have different senses of normality.

when my 14 yo DD tells me "everyone likes choking, it's the new thing, you are just old" THEN i have an interest

My DD also spoke about how a friend (another young girl) had posted on Instagram that choking was absolutely fine as long there was a pre agreed word to stop it. It is mind blowing that there’s SUCH a CONCERTED effort to undermine our daughter’s boundaries around what is acceptable and to get at them at such a young age to accept this harmful behaviour as ‘normal’. It makes me incandescent with rage.

Done by men with some subtle and not so subtle messaging for girls to accept and boys to think they’re meant to do it. In ‘We’re the Millers’ the screen writers casually get a young girl to tell the inexperienced boy to ‘now choke her’ after kissing her. In one of the MCU films some bad guy is clearly buckling his trousers after turning ‘off’ the robot girl he’s just had sex with… so great, we have nine year old boys get the message that women are literally just there to have sex. These scenes and so many bloody others, putting porn aside!, are completely unnecessary but these asshole screenwriters put them in…why?

Part of me thinks bring back Mary Whitehouse. Turns out ‘anything goes’ is not so great for our young people.

Was reading a medical article about the foreign bodies hospital staff have to remove from patients seeking bizarre sexual pleasure. The damage that can be done is frightening.

My auntie used to work in a&e on a Saturday night and the number of men that fell over while they were vacuuming and ended up with a Hoover up their arse was mind blowing. If you’ll excuse the pun.

strangely enough it was never women.

Exactly.
And if they are harmed (or even killed) well, its because they weren't doing it safely or insisting their partner do it safely.

It makes me so angry! I would rather it was illegal, so that society was saying its clearly dangerous

Adults who really wanted to could then choose to break the law, as many people do when they use drugs

I work for the ambulance service…..we go to a lot of (mainly) men who have inserted the strangest of items up their rectums ! Weirdest one was an entire honeydew melon !!! He was in agony and needed surgery to remove it !!!

The Expose The Harm website - exposetheharm.com/ - is a place where you can share how porn has harmed you or your relationships. I have sent in my personal experience there. It makes for sad reading but this is a massive problem that nobody wants to talk about for fear of being called a bigot or feel like you are trying to shame people.

In Gloucester a man attended at the local hospital with an unexploded WW2 shell up his bottom. he said it was some sort of accident!