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Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

890 replies

Doyoumind · 12/08/2022 10:01

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

OP posts:
AdamRyan · 13/08/2022 13:41

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 10:57

the mutually enjoyable element of your post os the crux of this

You've seen yourself many men find enjoyment from non vanilla sexual practices

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them.

The same applies with sexes reversed, I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside of the 'vanilla' sphere

Men are by far the ones who drive more enjoyment from the less vanilla sex acts, so that's where the disconnect comes in.

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them.

The same applies with sexes reversed, I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside of the 'vanilla' sphere

How is this not "shaming" people who you perceive to be "vanilla"?

TheWeeDonkey · 13/08/2022 13:43

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 10:57

the mutually enjoyable element of your post os the crux of this

You've seen yourself many men find enjoyment from non vanilla sexual practices

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them.

The same applies with sexes reversed, I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside of the 'vanilla' sphere

Men are by far the ones who drive more enjoyment from the less vanilla sex acts, so that's where the disconnect comes in.

Today at 10.57 Polly "I'd hate to be with someone who stuck to the missionary and didn't like anything outside the vanilla sphere"

Or have you changed your mind now?

HRTQueen · 13/08/2022 13:47

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 10:54

@HRTQueen

So the only sexual practices that are ok in your eyes are those that continue the human race

Ok, odd, but ok

No I haven’t said anything that implies this at all

FreudayNight · 13/08/2022 13:47

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 13:14

@FreudayNight who said I tell my children that at all?

Never said they should give it a go

Maybe you can stop making things up to get annoyed about

Sure you haven’t.

Your values on this issue are perfectly clear. And people infer that you will seek to replicate those values in your children.

My values are : You are entitled to say No. Stay away from people that don’t respect your No.
Your Values: At odds with mine.

Nothappyatwork · 13/08/2022 13:49

Ive been saying this for years and apparently some women (yeah right) love it so that means others can be pressurised into being “cool” enough to go along with it

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 13:49

@FreudayNight

Again, where did I say I don't teach them to say no if they're uncomfortable?

You're simply making things up to get annoyed about at this point

It's quite odd tbh

My values are education, both positives and negatives and leaving people to make their own decisions on what's right for them. Not sure why you have issue with that but hey ho

AdamRyan · 13/08/2022 13:50

It's not poor form to point out people, such as yourself, who seem unable to understand what is written

I've seen you do it many times across multiple threads - it's quite strange really

Rude!
I tend to think if someone didn't understand me, I didn't communicate well enough.

If they disagree I don't jump to "well they are stupid". That would be pretty arrogant.

But I'm pleased my inarticulate stupid posts have made enough of an impression for you to notice across multiple threads. Can't say the same in return to be honest 😝

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 13:53

@TheWeeDonkey

It's odd you don't understand 'vanilla' is often different between the sexes

It's been well discussed on this chain. Men are often wanting to do a lot more sexually.

I'm pretty vanilla in terms of what I enjoy, I still wouldn't want to date a male vanilla person. As male flavoured vanilla is often less adventurous than it is for women.

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 13:53

AdamRyan · 13/08/2022 13:50

It's not poor form to point out people, such as yourself, who seem unable to understand what is written

I've seen you do it many times across multiple threads - it's quite strange really

Rude!
I tend to think if someone didn't understand me, I didn't communicate well enough.

If they disagree I don't jump to "well they are stupid". That would be pretty arrogant.

But I'm pleased my inarticulate stupid posts have made enough of an impression for you to notice across multiple threads. Can't say the same in return to be honest 😝

Oh no, you've done it enough on this chain and others it's clearly a you problem

FreudayNight · 13/08/2022 13:54

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 13:49

@FreudayNight

Again, where did I say I don't teach them to say no if they're uncomfortable?

You're simply making things up to get annoyed about at this point

It's quite odd tbh

My values are education, both positives and negatives and leaving people to make their own decisions on what's right for them. Not sure why you have issue with that but hey ho

It’s been repeatedly explained to you.

Saying “I believe in Education” is of no consequence as it appears that you are unable to differentiate between boundary strengthening and boundary eroding behaviours.
You have convinced precisely no-one, and you are a hazard to the health of young people.

UglyNameChange · 13/08/2022 13:58

This article that just came out,
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/the-rise-lonely-single-men?amp

I wonder if there are many women who have opt out dating men because sexual demands and porn habits.

Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

Fuwari · 13/08/2022 14:01

I wonder if there is any link between the rise in this sort of porn and the more rights women have now compared to 30 years ago

I personally think this is exactly it. Some men (probably more than we realise given the popularity of this type of porn) feel emasculated by women now being more “equal” to them. It’s men putting women “back in their place” via violent acts. I’m not sure if they even realise that’s what they’re doing, but I think it’s a big part of it.

You can’t pinch your secretaries bum anymore (and in fact men are just as likely to be the admin nowadays) but hey you can watch a woman take it up the ass from a gang of men and seemingly “love it”. You might be expected to wash the dishes now but then you can go and watch a woman being humiliated on your phone. It sickens me to be honest.

We have gained so much in some areas, but I feel we have lost so much in others. So many men just don’t respect women. They have sisters, mothers, daughters themselves but still want to do things that they’d hate for someone to do to their loved ones. But it doesn’t stop them.

Perplexed0522 · 13/08/2022 14:05

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 13:53

@TheWeeDonkey

It's odd you don't understand 'vanilla' is often different between the sexes

It's been well discussed on this chain. Men are often wanting to do a lot more sexually.

I'm pretty vanilla in terms of what I enjoy, I still wouldn't want to date a male vanilla person. As male flavoured vanilla is often less adventurous than it is for women.

Can you give examples of what male vanilla is and what female vanilla is?

(I’m genuinely curious and not being goady)

justasking111 · 13/08/2022 14:07

A friend in the office had us roaring with laughter. Divorced she started dating. Went out with a nice guy three times on the third date she invited him back for coffee. Young children upstairs in bed. They chatted drank the coffee. She cleared away and started turning lights off. He said I'm not getting any tonight am I. She was shocked but said no. He stood up telling her that if she didn't start putting out she'd die a lonely old woman and he had been more patient than most

perfectstorm · 13/08/2022 14:11

I don't think that's it, no. I think it's the free availability of porn, thanks to the internet - and the reality that parents can't easily stop their kids accessing it, because even if their protections are almost watertight, some kid in school will have all sorts on their phone. Most kids grow up with access to it, and seeing pretty extreme sex acts normalised, and women seemingly enjoying fairly violent acts and degrading treatment, and this grooms them - boys and girls alike - into thinking this is how it should be.

Billie Eilish has spoken quite openly on how this affected her. And a few years ago there was government research done on it that was pretty disturbing - girls thinking that being choked during sex, for example, was normal.

We need to regulate porn more closely. It shouldn't be accessible to anyone who can't validate their age - and that age should be 18, minimum. And it should be a strict liability offence to enable anyone below 16 to access it, too (some still will, but it will reduce the prevalence - right now, most 12 year olds have seen at least some porn). It's a really sad reality: most children now have the vast majority of their sex ed from porn. And yet they almost all come out thinking women enjoy anal as much as men, despite no prostate, and that a clitoris is a small button and not a large root-like nerve system extending pretty widely, with that 'small button' simply being the protrusion. And then people wonder why women orgasm so very much less than men.

Porn has as much to do with real life sex as the Matrix does to the average bar fight. And yet it's the primary source material we are raising each generation on, in terms of sexuality and sexual expression.

CrazyBatLady66 · 13/08/2022 14:15

Fuwari · 13/08/2022 14:01

I wonder if there is any link between the rise in this sort of porn and the more rights women have now compared to 30 years ago

I personally think this is exactly it. Some men (probably more than we realise given the popularity of this type of porn) feel emasculated by women now being more “equal” to them. It’s men putting women “back in their place” via violent acts. I’m not sure if they even realise that’s what they’re doing, but I think it’s a big part of it.

You can’t pinch your secretaries bum anymore (and in fact men are just as likely to be the admin nowadays) but hey you can watch a woman take it up the ass from a gang of men and seemingly “love it”. You might be expected to wash the dishes now but then you can go and watch a woman being humiliated on your phone. It sickens me to be honest.

We have gained so much in some areas, but I feel we have lost so much in others. So many men just don’t respect women. They have sisters, mothers, daughters themselves but still want to do things that they’d hate for someone to do to their loved ones. But it doesn’t stop them.

Yes I agree. It’s sad and frightening that a whole generation has grown up with porn as sex education. I agree there should be tougher regulations to try and stop underage watching. Not sure how that can be done though

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 14:19

Porn has as much to do with real life sex as the Matrix does to the average bar fight. And yet it's the primary source material we are raising each generation on, in terms of sexuality and sexual expression.

Yes couldn't agree more.

Porn is the problem. It's a literal tidal wave.

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 14:26

Would it be OTT to ask that internet porn be made illegal? Books and magazines can, in theory be kept out of the hands of minors. With the filmed stuff it seems very easy for children to access. It also seems to have a stronger effect on male psychology. So would campaigning for a ban be reasonable or is there some freedom of speech issue or something similar I have missed.

greywinds · 13/08/2022 14:29

Maybe porn needs a tax like other things we consume that are bad for us? Porn damages consumers and people that interact with the consumers of it, and plenty of money has been made selling it...the nhs is already picking up the externalities of it.

excitingusername · 13/08/2022 14:35

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 14:26

Would it be OTT to ask that internet porn be made illegal? Books and magazines can, in theory be kept out of the hands of minors. With the filmed stuff it seems very easy for children to access. It also seems to have a stronger effect on male psychology. So would campaigning for a ban be reasonable or is there some freedom of speech issue or something similar I have missed.

Yeah, freedom of expression and also completely impossible. The best thing to do is regulate it as tightly as possible. Force porn companies to comply with strict laws.

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 14:41

@excitingusername I don't know anything about the industry, or how what can be put on the internet is regulated. I suppose it is mostly unregulated. It's quite bizarre to me when you consider there are rules in publishing but don't appear to be any when it comes to the internet.

excitingusername · 13/08/2022 14:44

There are laws - it's just not enough. And the porn companies are very powerful.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 15:21

They can't even make guns illegal in the US and people are still smoking cigs and drinking too much alcohol and are still being a massive burden on the NHS because of it.

More Education is desperately needed it's one of the few tools readily available.

I cba to argue on here what form this education should take or when except tbh it sort of has to be early on or 🤷‍♀️

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:07

Haven't finished catching up, but returning to the appropriateness of user names, I notice we now have 'TuffyAppleBottom'!!

picklemewalnuts · 13/08/2022 16:09

I'm with @FreudayNight :

"I think there are different ideas about the messaging of “Education” :is it.
(a) Anal is “regularly enjoyed” by some couples and here ladies are some ideas about how you can provide pleasure to your man. or
(b) Anal is a niche practice which those who profit from exploitation would like you think is normal, and that “everyone else is doing it” so that you can coerce/be coerced into commoditizing your own sexuality, to have it sold back to you. By the way, children your age, have been left with life changing disabilities. And it’s nothing special anyway, and who want a poo-hat in their penis."

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