Mums who overtalk friends to speak with their kids?

[Bellysmackers]

Have times changed? When I was young I was taught to keepe quiet when adults were speaking.

I don't have children myself, but have friends who do, and I've noticed that when they visit with their toddlers I can't get a word in edgeways! Mum is constantly chatting away to the child/asking if he needs a wee/wants an apple blah blah. I end up in most cases just sitting and watching them interact. It's as though I'm not even there I find it pretty rude tbh and wonder why they even bothered visiting.

I completely understand children are demanding and need attention- but sometimes halfway through a sentence they just randomly lose total interest. It's as though they are all consumed by Motherhood and have totally forgotten how to hold an adult convo!

Thoughts...

most people do this IME, I had loads of friends with children before I had my own and this is what happened, I don’t remember it being any sort of issue

I actually find far more adults interrupt children than the other way round.

It grinds my gears when people think basic manners don’t apply to children.

I don’t know anyone that lets their children just interrupt. Several husbands do it though and that’s enraging

I have a friend who does this, she interrupts when the DC are happy and not talking. You can see her drifting and ignoring you if the conversation isn’t about her DC. Friends like this usually find it hard to say no to their DC generally and are doing them a real disservice because school and peers won’t stand for it.

I did tell my lovely niece not to interrupt after she'd done it for the tenth time when I was talking to her mum.

It's just really boring when a sprog won't let you have an adult conversation .

And when they get to school there are 30 of them trying to interrupt every conversation because they haven't been taught basic manners of waiting.

No that’s just being 4-5yo. They get there in the end

You can tell the parents who are like this on the thread

I also don't get those claiming the only reason OP thinks this way is due to not having children

I have 2 and totally agree. There is no need to allow children to constantly interrupt, it's rude.

No, parents who are like this probably aren’t on the thread at all.

Christ, this is gross.

They certainly are

Since a fair few are calling it rude for adults to ignore the children

And why should children not be conversed with

Why as an adult do you need complete focus and attention, op?
You aren't the centre of attention when someone with a child is around, which clearly you dislike.

My 5 yo DD interrupts constantly and DH and I are trying to teach her to say ‘excuse me’ and wait. But, she had ASD so it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle as she just doesn’t really get that it’s rude, as to her it’s far more important to ask me for the 1000th time why the sky is blue than for adults to be talking. I do always remind her that it’s rude and to wait but sometimes it it’s something quick it’s easier to just answer than have her stand there repeating herself and getting more wound up.

I have a friend who does this. It's so rude

It grinds my gears when people think basic manners don’t apply to children

I agree with this as well though! Twice this week we’ve had adults try and cut in front of my daughter in a shop. I’ve been letting her ‘pay’ when there’s no queue (just someone in front being served, so she’s at the very front and there’s no one behind her, and I’m standing next to the queue) just to try and build her confidence socially, and twice adults have tried to go in front of her. So bloody rude.

This. This. This!
I was explaining FILs illness to a friend (recently diagnosed) and she was happy to not only constantly allow her preschooler to interrupt and give him her full attention 'oh yes darling that's a lovely dinosaur!' but would also gaze at him lovingly while I told her upsetting news and interject with play suggestions for the kid.

I stopped talking and she finally looked at me briefly and said 'oh dear that sounds terrible...why don't we play with the farm now darling?' and it wasn't spoken of again. I don't think she heard a word I was saying. I spent the rest of my time there just listening to her coo over the kid and narrate his every action.

Fuck that.

My neurodivergence means I’m obsessed with following conversations to a t otherwise I get distracted, and you wouldn’t believe the amount of adults who interrupt conversations to say something or do something relating to them and then don’t go back to the person who was speaking. It happens all the time and I guarantee lots of people on this thread moaning about ‘mothers’ have done it too, but they just don’t notice.

I agree and that's something I've noticed too. Kids get ignored so adults can chat.

For me, when mine were little they were taught not to interrupt but little kids don't get what's important (in the view of an adult). It really can be a case of give and take. And kids have a knack of needing the loo etc when you are on the phone.

Oh give over. There's a middle space between ignoring the adult in favour of the child and ignoring the child in favour of the adult.

I agree with you @Bellysmackers. It really doesn't take much to tell your child that you're talking to whoever and can they please carry on colouring or whatever. So long as they know they can talk to you needed and not just monopolise every interaction.

Tbh I find it rude when Mums ignore the adult they are with a give their demanding child full attention- what's that teaching it? To be a brat?

It sounds like you being taught to shut up when your moms friends were around didn't stop you being a brat.

Your needs aren't more important than a child's.

No their attention shouldn't be solely on a child but if my 3 year old tells me they need a poo or they've hurt themselves I'm sure as shit prioritising them.

Who said the OP needs complete focus

Do you not understand how conversations work?

YANBU! it's so irritating and I find it really puts me off a person...

But that's not what the OP is talking about it is? If your three year old comes over to you and wants to show an interesting bit of fluff and read you a story and play babies with you and drive a car up and down your arm while you make the appropriate noises - and you have a friend you're ignoring to do that - that's what OP is talking about!

🤣🤣

I don’t know - the OP mentions wees and apples as examples (which might be important - it’s hard to know without more detail - could be that a snack allows longer adult conversation). She’s not mentioned fluff or cars or examples along those lines.