To feel disturbed that DD (4) received this through the door?

[Greenginghamdress]

I got home tonight to find my partner with something to show me. He said " I didn't want to tell you this at work but two little girls put this through the letterbox for DD". (She is 4). It is a nice looking card with DDs name on, but with a nasty note inside, signed from a name of a little girl who lives round the corner.

We have a google doorbell and can see two girls dropped it through this afternoon. The 2 girls are from our estate, aged 8 and 4. The girls are good friends with each other but lately the younger one has been playing with DD. She even came to our house last week to play briefly! When they were playing I heard little girl say 'so you known DDs name I don't want to be friends anymore' . DD didn't seem bothered and later on they seemed fine.

The handwriting is good, I don't think the 4 year old has done this.

We haven't told or shown DD on anyone else.

What to do about it? I do not know the mums well. It seems very nasty and can't believe this sort if thing happens so young now!
Tell me if I over reacting. What would you do?

That's horrible, I'd go round and have a chat with the mums. Doesn't have to be nasty, just say the facts and that you're upset for your child.
Glad your daughter didn't see it!

If you have it recorded on your google door thing, I would be straight over to speak to the parents. It's a horrible thing for those kids to do.

I’d definitely go round there!

I'd speak to the parents. If that were my child doing that I'd want to know.

Yes we have the doorbell images plus I have kept the card hidden.

I'd definitely go round. The 4 yr old isn't to blame really, she's very young. This came from the 8 yr old.

I'd definitely want to know, the 4yos Mum might want to put a stop to the hanging around together.

Take it back to the house of the 8 year old, are they sisters the 8 and 4 yo? If so I’d take it round and just let the parents know what has been received and that if it were your DD involved in sending something like this you’d want to know so that’s why you are making her aware. There’s no harm done because thankfully DD didn’t see it but I’d be steering clear from both girls from now on.

I would absolutely want to know if my child did this and I’d be furious with them.

And if my son received it I’d be at their doorstep asking for an explanation.

That's awful.

I would definitely go round and speak to both sets of parents and I'd take a still screenshot of the doorbell video too in case they disputed it. I wouldn't go round like a raving banshee but nor would I be overly polite about it tbph.

If they're in the same school I'd also raise it with them so that they're aware and can keep a closer eye.

The girls are not sisters. I'm not sure why they are so friendly actually given the age gap.

Agree with all pp. This needs to be discussed with the parents. How sad that bullying can start so young.

This ^

How awful. I would definitely have to say something.

Tell the parents. If this was my child doing this I would want to know so I could speak to them about being kind and bullying. Glad your daughter didn’t see it.

YANBU. Little girls can be nasty, if I was their parent I would want to know so I could address their behaviour and kip it in the bud.

Just re read - so did they sign the same of someone else op?

Nasty and sneaky if so. And I agree with a pp - if I was the 4 year olds mum, I would want to know so I could distance my child from the 8 year old.

The 8 year old clearly has the potential to be dangerous - emotional attacks even if not physical… yet. For her to want a close friendship with the other four year old suggests she my want a younger one to manipulate. Nasty… definitely inform both girls’ parents, and school when term starts.

Why are a 4 year old and an 8 year old friends that play together, and why are their parents allowing them out on their own? Do the mums not know that they come to your house?

The parents of the younger child definitely need to know as their child is too young to have done this independently. Is she playing outside with the older girl unsupervised?
I would tell both children's parents and show them the card. Have the footage available as proof.

@YourWinter Yes maybe.
I hardly even know the 8 year old tbh.

The card was signed with the 4 year olds name, but I'm thinking due to the handwriting it was the 8 year old- or someone else- who wrote it.

I'm very glad they don't go to the same school.

Thinking of ways to distance DD but it's a close knit estate and they are often around.

I'd be round there like a shot - that is so malicious for an 8 year old. I would be raging if my child did something like this, so absolutely tell the parents. Poor dd x

@Mamamia7962 @Theimpossiblegirl It's a weird situation that I have questioned myself.
We live on a quiet cul de safe estate with lots of new builds that young families have bought.
The 4 year olds mum has 3 kids including a newborn baby so I guess her hands are full. She lets the older 2 (7 and 4) play unsupervised. Quite a few children play unsupervised, but I don't let DD go out on her own as I think she Is far too young so I'm always there.

That is disturbing and sinister. That is real red flag behaviour for an 8 year old girl. The 4 year old is obviously blameless.

The 8 year old girl’s parents need to know and this weird dynamic between these two girls needs to be stopped immediately.

Definitely have a word with the parents and take the card with you. That’s awful