Did I over react?

[Serenstar1983]

Hi, first of all apologies for the potentially childish/tmi nature of this thread.

I'll just cut straight to the chase - my 13 year old dd was downstairs just now, chatting to me and my partner (just random chat, nothing important) and I had to go to the bathroom for...a number 2.

I'm quite shy about it all and the bathroom myself and my partner use is an ensuite in our bedroom.
I told him discreetly that I needed to go and he knows this basically means "stay out of the bedroom and keep everyone else out too until you see me again or hear the toilet flush".
He nodded in agreement,I used the loo and when I came back my DD sidled up to me with a grin on her face and told me "muuummm....DP said that you... (she looked towards the living room where my partner was)... went for a ..... poo".

By this time my partner had come into the room (we have an open plan living area so when she looked towards the living room she was looking at him around a wall separating the two areas) and said "thanks DD!" with an eye roll.

I was annoyed and embarrassed that he'd told her, also that he had blamed her and I told them both it wasn't her fault as he was the adult and Ieft it at that but he hasn't apologies or anything, is just acting like eveything's normal.

The thing is, 9 times out of 10 if I go to the loo for 'that' and my dd is downstairs, he'll tell her what I'm doing and I don't know why - his story is she asks to go into our bedroom "so what else am I meant to say"?

Am I being too sensitive or is he trying to embarrassing or undermine me in some way by telling my dd that I'm pooing?!

Neither your partner or DD have done anything wrong. There is only a problem because you've made one.

I’m in holiday with sisters and nieces, including teens, and poo seems to figure a lot in the conversations.

Sometimes the cousins even keep each other company whilst one is having a poo.

I think it’s time to unclench before you pass your fastidiousness to your dd.

Nah, no one needs to know when someone is going for a poo, the only reason to tell DP is to ensure privacy, not so he can TELL DD.

So you don’t mind your DP knowing but not your kids?
How weird!

If you’re worried about people coming in then why not just say you’re going to the toilet?

Why the secrecy of going for a poo around your kids? It doesn’t make sense.

Why do you even tell your partner? That’s weird imo. Not the telling him part but the telling him to make sure it’s private part, can’t you just leave the room for a few minutes without anyone knowing what you’re doing?

Yeah I mean, this.

I'm sorry everyone seems to think I'm weird but dp is exactly the same so he knows why I told him. I didn't announce OR whisper it, I simply said to dp I'm popping to the bathroom. He knows what that means as I don't tell him if I'm peeing.

I'll drop it but it happens far too often imo.

Next time will just say I'm popping to the toilet to dd and hopefully that will suffice.

This is at the level of needing therapy I can’t even believe what I’m reading.

why in gods name do you need to tell folks when you’re going to take a shit. Just go to the loo. And so what if someone walks past.

this is so weird it’s disturbing

No. I'm upset that my partner told her what I was doing when I'd asked him not to. Or to be specific, implied I wanted privacy.

Why is it a secret from your kid you are taking a shit. Can you not see how incredibly weird this is?

of course you take a shit

Utterly ridiculous

So you’re telling your husband you’re going for a shit in code but nobody else can know that you’re going for a shit. You really do sound weird

You're just making the basic act of pooing (something literally every living creature does) seem like something that's shameful and needs to be hidden. You need find a way to relax a bit before your attitude rubs off on your DD. She shouldn't have to grow up to have these issues

None of us like to be 'caught' having a poo

what does this even mean? Unless you’re shitting in the middle of the lawn it’s an unhinged thing to write. There is nothing shameful about pooping. It’s not some dirty thing to be hidden.

in our house me to husband and daughter “ooh hang on, I need to go poop”.

honestly op, you’ll give your kid issues. Shitting is a totally normal thing, no different to peeing or farting.

That’s just weird Op. Sorry. A relative of mine (keeping it vague purposefully as it should be identifying as I firmly believe no one else in this world does this) asks the ALL family members vacate the home when they have the urge for number 2. Step into the garden, have a fag by the back gate, take the opportunity to pop to the shops. Just leave so they can do their business.

Yes, they were indulged as a child.

It’s a poo. Everyone does them, lighten up!

Omg world problems

I agree that he could just have said that you had gone to the loo.

But if you lock the door you're not going to get "caught" anyway.

Better still lock the bedroom door as well if someone being in their is an issue!

I recently lived with my dm for 4 months and she is worse than my 4 year old for opening the door and wanting a chat whilst you are having a poo and always has been. She has never shut the door at home unless she is ill. I have learned not to care as there is never a chance for a poo in peace.

I think you need to grow the F up!

Jeez, everybody takes a dump. Get a grip!

You’d freak n our house OP. We all announce loudly when we’re going for a poo. And often on exiting the bathroom people announce that it’s best not to go in for 5 minutes. Bunch of uncouth bastards that we are!

Oh my. Yab soooo u!
It’s a poo, why the big secret.
I’m also astounded, you can’t mention that you poo, to your own daughter.

Jesus christ I've heard it all now

God we announce it like we are going out "I'm going for a poo! Any one need a wee first"
It's just poo ffs. Every body poops

MN is full of midsummer madness today!
In my house, people often announce that they're going for a poo and upon their return are asked if they were successful 😂