Did I over react?

[Serenstar1983]

Hi, first of all apologies for the potentially childish/tmi nature of this thread.

I'll just cut straight to the chase - my 13 year old dd was downstairs just now, chatting to me and my partner (just random chat, nothing important) and I had to go to the bathroom for...a number 2.

I'm quite shy about it all and the bathroom myself and my partner use is an ensuite in our bedroom.
I told him discreetly that I needed to go and he knows this basically means "stay out of the bedroom and keep everyone else out too until you see me again or hear the toilet flush".
He nodded in agreement,I used the loo and when I came back my DD sidled up to me with a grin on her face and told me "muuummm....DP said that you... (she looked towards the living room where my partner was)... went for a ..... poo".

By this time my partner had come into the room (we have an open plan living area so when she looked towards the living room she was looking at him around a wall separating the two areas) and said "thanks DD!" with an eye roll.

I was annoyed and embarrassed that he'd told her, also that he had blamed her and I told them both it wasn't her fault as he was the adult and Ieft it at that but he hasn't apologies or anything, is just acting like eveything's normal.

The thing is, 9 times out of 10 if I go to the loo for 'that' and my dd is downstairs, he'll tell her what I'm doing and I don't know why - his story is she asks to go into our bedroom "so what else am I meant to say"?

Am I being too sensitive or is he trying to embarrassing or undermine me in some way by telling my dd that I'm pooing?!

Massively overreacting

We are a family that all use the loo whenever anyone is is there though

What a weird thing to get worked up about.

Maybe he's having to tell her so that she doesn't come up and disturb you.
You are being very weird about it all.

FFS are you serious? Do you think she doesn't know that you shit? DP has nothing to apologise for

None of us like to be 'caught' having a poo

Caught? Like it's something naughty?

Weird poo hang-ups aren't good. My DH is really funny about poo but I don't let him be weird about it around DC as I don't want them getting whatever poop issues he's got. I probably overcompensate

Yabu incredibly ridiculous about this, I would expect this from a 3yo not a grown woman. Honestly you are just beyond childish and making something normal into a ridiculous thing.

Could you ask him to just say "mum's gone to the toilet" instead of detailing what you're doing.

My 13YO DD announces where she's off to, she'd possibly freak you out!!

So you'd rather tell your dd lies about what you are doing than the simple truth?
Jesus 🙄

Why would your partner / daughter need to leave the bedroom if you are taking a shit in the bathroom? I am assuming there's walls and a door to the en-suite?
Why announce to your partner that are having a pop of it is such a taboo subject and it upsets you if he mentions it to daughter.

Need a poo = get up, find a toilet, shut the door and have a poo.

Sorry I cant write a more meaningful reply but I need to go for a poo.

Ps. Don't tell anyone

But come on, it is VERY weird that he tells the DD that OP has gone for a poo. A 13 year old couldn’t care less if their mum leaves the room for a few minutes - would she even necessarily notice? At 13 is it usual for a child to ask where their mum is every single time they leave the room, or try to follow, or try to go into their bedroom? And if they did ask surely the answer is either “I don’t know” or “she’s nipped to the loo” - no reason at all for any poo to be mentioned!

Yabu. It's a poo. Don't make your daughter grow up with these outdated, misogynistic hang ups. Same goes for periods, sex and anything else natural. Making normal bodily functions a taboo, dirty and shameful can be really harmful.

What would you do without an en-suite? We have one bathroom and every time my cheeks touch the seat a child appears 'you pooping?' then insists on hanging around outside the door.

This

😂

Are you an actual adult??

You need to think about what kind of impact this type of anxiety could have on DD.

We all poo and it's not anything to be embarrassed about. Try to to cause DD to
Think it is.

I find it so weird that you can’t tell your DD but you have to discreetly tell your partner so he can keep people away.
Everyone poos.
My girls dad taught them to squat and wee over the shower drain when they shower with him and they found it hilarious (They’re 5 and almost 3, the youngest one is just potty trained and needed a wee in the shower!)

'Caught'?

Is there no door to your en suite ?

What are you like about periods?

OK I'm clearly weird about it.

But my issue was with the fact that he knows not to tell her (as in,why couldn't he have just said I've popped to the loo? I was literally out of the room for 3 minutes so I don't understand why he told her anything) but did anyway rather than the fact she now knows about it.
And then tried to blame my dd for telling me. Didn't like that part either.

Plus, he never tells her the fifty million times a day I have to pee so why bother to tell her I'm pooing?!

But, you're all missing the point and I'm crazy so ok.

There has been an abundance of threads about people thinking doing completely normal things is unreasonable. Mumsnet has reached peak ridiculousness lately. Next someone will ask if it's unreasonable to breathe.

She has them, we talk about it fine thank you very much.

Complete overreaction of yours.

Your DO probably doesn't actually say you've gone for a poo, but if you're longer than about 30 seconds in the bathroom, it's pretty obvious what you're doing.

Be glad your DD has managed to get to 13 and doesn't seem to have picked up any of these hang-ups of yours about poo; it's an issue as you seem to barely be able to type the word.

You need to get some professional help to get over this, as there's no need to be embarrassed about a perfectly normal bodily function.

But if your DD is asking, why should he lie?

If you want to do it, just go and do it - she's 13, surely she'll notice you telling him something and disappearing?

It's a normal bodily function. You'll give your DD weird ideas about it if you're not careful! We all do it n