Would I be unreasonable to raise an issue with what a so-called friend said to me?

[Keyansier]

I have always looked very young for my age, which was a hinderance as a teenager and young adult but as I have got older I have embraced and taken upon the fact that that I look young as a blessing (I am now 28 btw but look like I am in the teenagers years range)

I bought a bottle of wine for dinner from the shop on the way home for me and my DBF last night (we are in a same-sex relationship) amongst other stuff and expected to show ID as normal and didn't get asked, so I jokingly said "Are you not going to ask me for ID for the wine?" and the (obviously gay a nd young) guy who was on the till stared at me and looked me up and down and said: "no, I don't think that's necessary."

I paid for my things without much further words and went home but was a bit upset. Later, I had a VERY SMALL cry to myself in private about it in the toilet and then when I told my friend later and told him what happened he was very nonchalant and said my crying was for attention-seeking and I always do it to try and get attention, even though I had JUST told him that I had cried to myself in total private and for very briefly, about ten seconds in total, if that!! I spoke to my DP later and he agreed with me that it was horrible but AIBU for being furious by the callous words from a so-called friend and should I lessen contact with them?

I mean, noone who was buying wine underage was going to desperately offer to show their nonexistent ID were they, so even if you look borderline 24/25 (I don't know why you'd even want to look like a teenager?) and they took a chance, you pretty much confirmed you're well old enough.

I'm confused, too.

On another note, my son worked at Tesco and would just ask for ID randomly. Sometimes older people just to make their day!

In the shop where I worked, once you asked for ID you couldn't then serve anyone without it even if they were a pensioner.

So I don't see how that is trying to seek attention because it wasn't in front of anyone

Yet you've posted this on a public forum for attention...

What are you on about?

And how can someone be 'obviously gay'?

I don’t get why you cried. You’re 28 which is 10 years above the legal limit and 3 years above the think-25 limit so there is no need to ID you. In what scenario is it a put down to tell a 28-year-old man he doesn’t need to be ID’d? You sound very dramatic and over the top to be upset about this; it’s totally normal for adults not to be ID’d and to be honest it was weird that you asked the cashier about being ID’d in the first place.

Young looking or old looking we all get to an age where we stop getting IDd.

We don't double check if the cashier wants to see ID.

That is attention seeking/fishing behaviour.

You just take what you are buying and leave like anything else you buy.

You ASKED to be ID'd - attention seeking
You then cried because you weren't- ridiculous but whatever floats your boat
You told friend about it- attention seeking
You told partner about friend being mean- attention seeking
You told MN about it all- attention seeking.

You might've just as well cried in the shop

That would annoy me and definitely wouldn’t make my day. I’m in my 30s and obviously old enough to buy alcohol but I don’t usually carry my ID around as I pay for everything using my phone so rarely have my purse so if a cashier asked me for ID randomly I wouldn’t be able to show it to make the purchase.

Ah OP. Wipe your eyes & blow your nose.

Now is the time to reflect back on times you've dismissed people for being 30+, or thought their opinions irrelevant and outdated because... old. Hopefully you've never used the sentence 'OK BOOMER'.

Age happens to us all. You're one of us now 🍹

I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a terrible shock. Sometimes it's much easier to be an old looking uggo. You young looking, beautiful people have it so hard 😘

Jesus Christ what a non issue!

Got to love the school holidays

congratulations on your lucky life

you have to be incredibly privileged in all aspects of your life for the shop assistant’s lack of ID to even cross your radar and then to cry about it [secretly] but also inform 2 others of the [secret] cry

seriously your life must be an absolute breeze

What has being in a same sex relationship and being served by a gay person got to do with suddenly realising that you no longer look as young as you thought?

What are you hoping to gain from your thread, if not to garner attention?

I got asked for my ID at the till a few days ago and almost burst into tears.

I'm 46. They were tears of gratitude.

and the (obviously gay a nd young

This is relevant why exactly?

Blimey, the things you read on here.😂

If you cried in private and then told someone about it then that is of course attention seeking - you told them to get some attention.

Why else would you have told them?

I too look young for my age.
Im early 30s but get mistaken for late teens early 20s which can sometimes be a pain because as a teacher I have parents or other staff talk down to me and I have a teenage DD who look more like my friend than my DD and we get unwanted attention from pervy men.

I was not asked for ID the other day too and did feel quite deflated for some weird reason but I did not get upset about it and if I did cry about it I definitely wouldn’t have told anyone unless I wanted their attention.

That you should be able to buy alcohol without hindrance at 28?

I am 35 and I go out with my driving licence as I occasionally get ID’d still. It’s happening less and less now, however, after so many years of getting ID’d there does come with it a level of smugness. Even I admit that. It’s the whole ‘oh, you’re ID’ing me! Haha, I look so young don’t I!?’ type exchange with the shop assistant.

I was probably peak smugness in my late twenties, when I’d have ‘funny’ exchanges with the shop assistant, then come back and tell anyone who would listen that ‘I can’t believe I got ID’d!’
Sounds like you’re on that level now, trying to have that hilarious exchange and now it’s backfired, it’s made you feel bad about yourself.

When the reality is, being ID’d is inconvenient, and the shop assistant is just doing their job/not really looking at you/couldn’t care less if you look young or not!

Oh dear how sad, never mind.

I'm a bit confused. Are the DP and DBF one and the same person? I've read the Op a couple of times, and can't figure it out.

If you cried in private you didn't need to tell anyone!
You didn't get the attention you wanted from your other half so you thought you'd get it here.
Now that you no longer look like a teenager it's time to stop acting like one

Not attention seeking but you have to post it on here for attention, yeah right
Have you not got a school project to do?