Would I be unreasonable to raise an issue with what a so-called friend said to me?

[Keyansier]

I have always looked very young for my age, which was a hinderance as a teenager and young adult but as I have got older I have embraced and taken upon the fact that that I look young as a blessing (I am now 28 btw but look like I am in the teenagers years range)

I bought a bottle of wine for dinner from the shop on the way home for me and my DBF last night (we are in a same-sex relationship) amongst other stuff and expected to show ID as normal and didn't get asked, so I jokingly said "Are you not going to ask me for ID for the wine?" and the (obviously gay a nd young) guy who was on the till stared at me and looked me up and down and said: "no, I don't think that's necessary."

I paid for my things without much further words and went home but was a bit upset. Later, I had a VERY SMALL cry to myself in private about it in the toilet and then when I told my friend later and told him what happened he was very nonchalant and said my crying was for attention-seeking and I always do it to try and get attention, even though I had JUST told him that I had cried to myself in total private and for very briefly, about ten seconds in total, if that!! I spoke to my DP later and he agreed with me that it was horrible but AIBU for being furious by the callous words from a so-called friend and should I lessen contact with them?

This will probably only end when the summer holidays end

My point was that I look much younger than 25 and look about age 15-17, so I was expected ID to be asked for as it normally is. Maybe there wasn't something wrong with him but i don't think he could be classed as doing his job properly. This is not just my opinion btw, everyone regularly comments that I look about 16

Some growing up to do, me thinks.

Ffs GROW UP.

How old are the people mistaking you for 16? Are they your age? I would say unless the people mistaking you for 16 are teenagers themselves you probably don’t look 16. You might look ‘young’ to people in their 30s/ 40s/ 50s etc but they probably aren’t great at telling the difference between 16 and 19 and 23. They don’t know enough 15/16/17 year olds to really know what they look like.

To the young cashier who likely doesn’t have friends in their teens and is young himself it was probably very obvious you weren’t younger than him because he will be able to recognise you’re not part of his generation, not just by your face but by your dress sense and mannerisms and likely the language you used etc. He could tell you were over 18 because he knew you’re not of his generation and because he is better at recognising young people than the older people you usually socialise with.

At 28, you don't look 15 unless you have some sort of growth disorder.

A 28 year old coyly asking if they're going to get IDd for an item they have been able to legally buy for ten years is like a comedy sketch. Something off Harry Enfield.

You got embarrassed. Move on.

Don't feed the troll folks ...

I am late 30s now. I have been mistaken for my 18 year old son’s sister several times, and very occasionally still get asked for ID. I think the worst scenario was being out with my son and it being assumed we were a couple! That was emotional

😂😂😂

Crying because someone has been a bit rude to you when you were angling for a "compliment" is weird.

Crying because someone says you, a 28 year old, don't look like a teenager, is worrying - why is it important to you to look like a child?

If a friend told me that I cry a lot as a way of seeking attention, I would be questioning whether there's any truth in that - if this were the only time then I'd conclude that no, the friend is a twat; if this were the 3rd time in 3 weeks I'd have to consider whether it's an uncomfortable truth.

I think the crying was a bit ridiculous, but not attention seeking.

What's attention seeking is asking the cashier if they were going to ID you (so you could presumably draw attention to just how ✨young✨you look when they go "Oh, you're actually 28!! WOW") and then you had to tell someone you cried about it.

You evidently don't want to listen to anyone who agrees that it was attention seeking but... You're asking if you'd be unreasonable to raise it as an issue with them and most people are saying, yes you would, because you were being attention seeking in most people's eyes.

Don’t you have some Tesco substitutions that you scammed to be dropping off at te food back or something.

The school holidays will be over soon. Until then, go and try this stuff somewhere else. Pathetic.

Quite. They have also started a similar thread.

The bit about this that confuses me is the OPs complete lack of what would have to have been going through the shop assistants head if it were in fact a bitchy insult.

He'd have to have thought...

"This guy looks sixteen. However, I won't ask for ID just in case - and I really can't see how this could be - he's really 28. Oh, wait, he's asking me why I haven't ID'ed him. Which must mean he is really 16. Except no 16 year old buying alcohol would ask to be IDed. Therefore he must be 28 - though he really does look 16. So now I've deduced he's 28, I needn't ask him for ID. However, it does give me the opportunity to make a bitchy comment about how this 28-year-old looks...er...old enough to buy alcohol. Wow, that's really not very bitchy, is it? I mean, it's not Joan Collins. I'm going to have to up my game."

Now, if you're only 28 and get asked if you'd like to use your OAP discount I could understand you crying, but seriously, get over yourself!

Crying because someone doesn’t think you are a teenager when you are, in fact, 28 is a little odd frankly.

I read the OP nodding in agreement but then realised it was myself that wrote it 😂How come this is active again? this happened ages ago. Reading back through the first few pages I don't know how so many people were confused? I meant DBF = dear/darling boyfriend and the same person, DP = dear/darling partner . Didn't mean it to be so confusing 😆

I am over it now guys!! Though I have not visited that particular shop since!

I saw you in the shop yesterday, you looked ancient 😉

Lol 😂

😘

My point was that I look much younger than 25 and look about age 15-17, so I was expected ID to be asked for as it normally is. Maybe there wasn't something wrong with him but i don't think he could be classed as doing his job properly.

If you cry about something not thinking you look 16 then you don’t look as young as you think you do.

Crying about not getting ID’d is crazy.

In your opinion

Did you cry in the toilet because you wasn't asked for ID? If yes, give yourself a slap. 🙄

Not just my opinion though is it if you were crying because someone else thought it too.

You're not as clever as you make yourself out to be, just letting you know that.