Expensive birthday activity for DS, how to stop uninvited "extra" kids coming?

[samsmummyhere]

Just that ready.
For DS's birthday next month he wants to go to a particular place that cost almost £30 per child for the activity and food afterwards.
I've told him he can invite 10 friends along, I seriously couldn't afford any more.
Trouble is, at most of the parties he's attended in the past since starting school, I've noticed so many of the mums from his circle of friends to bring along ALL their kids, even when not invited. Like it's free childcare of something, or just because they can't leave them at home (understandable I suppose for single parents without help etc).
BUT I'm adamant I don't want this happening at my son's party... Why should I end up paying several more £30 for the sake of mums who do this?
Anyone being in similar situations? How do I word it politely but FIRMLY on the invitations that the invites are for the NAMED FRIEND ONLY, no siblings or other add-ons?

I was also wondering people keep referring to soft play and younger children (4 and 5-years-olds). @Everanewbie ! I don't think the OP actually mentions her DS's age, she just says the party is for 10 people. But I'm guessing that he's at least 8, probably older. Well past the soft play and needing a parent to stay stage.

How about writing in the invitation card it is only for the named child and if parents wants to bring extra children they need to pay/ discuss it with the venue.

Here's a novel idea.

How about the parents only bring the child that was actually invited to attend the party? Siblings can go to any parties they get invited to, just not this one?

Are there more self entitled parents around these days? When DD was little the only time siblings were brought along was to soft play parties where the parents were expected to stay to to be responsible for their own DC. The siblings were paid in by said parents and didn't join the party.

At all other parties - house, church hall, leisure centre, other activity only the invited child turned up and was left by the parent to be collected later. The one exception being Magna in Rotherham where a number of DC were quite scared and felt intimidated (I think it was a 7th birthday). In this case the parents who stayed paid themselves in to accompany their DC and walk round with the party.

Are there more self entitled parents around these days?

Certainly I'd say less self-aware in some cases, possibly a bit of entitlement over it being fair game to treat parties as an activity for all of your children.

Its quite simple isn't it?

@samsmummyhere this is not an issue. You need to work with the venue. Pay for the 10 NAMED CHILDREN. ALL others have to pay. On the invite, simply put

*
This invitation is only for

LITTLE JOHNNY'S NAME

Additional children attending from your household, other than the named party above, will be charged $30 PER CHILD payable directly to the venue.

That's it! Then you have a list that you give to the venue. If the child is on the list, then great. If they are not, then the parent has to pay. Problem solved! Don't make things more involved than they need to be.

I've asked numerous times on this thread but no one seems to be able to answer. Why on earth should the birthday child have uninvited siblings rock up and parents pay for them to attend? If the birthday child waned them there they would have been invited!

I've asked numerous times on this thread but no one seems to be able to answer. Why on earth should the birthday child have uninvited siblings rock up and parents pay for them to attend? If the birthday child waned them there they would have been invited!

Well because if it's a public place they had no control over who else is there. There could be other dc from birthday child's class there that he hadn't invited also. You don't get to control that bit but if it's an organised group activity obviously they don't get to join that bit, or the party food.

I've asked numerous times on this thread but no one seems to be able to answer. Why on earth should the birthday child have uninvited siblings rock up and parents pay for them to attend? If the birthday child waned them there they would have been invited!

I'm with you but this thread has shown there's two camps on this one. Personally, irrespective of whether it's open to the public, coming with a sinking changes the dynamic.

Kids are unlikely to play with kids from the general public they don't know, whereas I've seen plenty of parties where kids play with their siblings rather than the birthday child. Or younger siblings hang around the others and are a bit annoying.

I'm not advocating micro-managing who kids play with which would be ridiculous. But I didn't bring siblings for the reason that I think it's fairer on the birthday child to have their friends to themselves for a couple of hours.

There's a lot of assumptions of this thread that the venues / activities in question would have space available to accept siblings taking part. FWIW I've just done a small GoApe event for DS birthday. I booked two months in advance and got the last 5 places for the specific timeslot.