Man in women’s changing rooms (NOT trans)

[DelisButAlsoCrime]

I genuinely don’t know if I am being unreasonable here or not.

I went swimming with DS today, and arriving at the same time of us was a mini bus with 8 adults - 7 men, one woman. It was fairly obvious that most of the males were disabled, not quite as severe as Down’s Syndrome but similar. The woman and one of the men were caring for them. All but one of the men went with the male carer to the men’s changing room, but the female and one of the men went, just ahead of me, into the female dressing room. The woman actually held the door open for me but I kind of did a double take and held back. I thought about going to reception and asking them but decided not to. When I went in they had gone into one of the private cubicles. However, they did come out before I was ready and the man came around the corner and was looking quite obviously into the open changing spaces.

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this? I don’t know if there is a disabled changing room at my gym because this would be the obvious answer if he needed to be specifically with the female carer.

Yes, self-conscious young people need same-sex spaces to get changed in.

i don’t see why it’s baffling to want same-sex changing areas and toilets

It's not just about the women using the facilities it's about the dignity of the adult male too

Exactly. It is grotesque that some PP are assuming that the man with Down's is not a sexual being, because he has a learning disability. . Are we really still so uncomfortable with the idea of people with disabilities wanting/having sex? He has an extra chromosome. He hasn't been neutered.

Must have been a previously banned poster - although they were completely wrong in what they were saying, I don’t think all of their posts broke talk guidelines.

They've been all over the site being absolutely vile so either a PBB or just banned for being an arsehole.

But you think it’s perfectly OK to have a man in the women’s change facility?

No thank you

Yes, which is exactly why I said men shouldn’t be in the womens changing room, which you seem to have conveniently ignored.

Apologies, haven't read the full thread. I have a 10 year old son with Down Syndrome and fully understand why a female wouldn't want an adult male in the female changing room. When we go swimming my son will generally go into the male changing room with my husband. In the rare circumstances that my husband is not there I would look for a disabled changing room. If that wasn't available I would bring him with me into the female changing room but I'm conscious that that's only an option for another year or so maximum.

In the circumstances outlined I would expect the carers to have done their research before hand and ensured that appropriate facilities were available.

Why are people assuming @Simonjt thinks men should be in women's changing rooms? Am I going mad or has he said nothing of the sort?!

There seems to be an issue with comprehension skills today, we all seem to have summer holiday brain, by next week we will have forgotten which hand we write with.

My fault, I misread
I have apologised and corrected

I work at a pool. A adult male in the female changing room would be considered a safeguarding issue. We would ask a man with a female carer to go to the disabled change.

I know that my brother/ brother in law/ father in law, male cousins etc etc aren't going to sexually assault me but I certainly wouldn't want to get undressed in front of them.
But some people appear to think that I should be willing to get undressed in front of male people that I don't know aren't going to sexually assault me.

"I work at a pool. A adult male in the female changing room would be considered a safeguarding issue. We would ask a man with a female carer to go to the disabled change."

The problem is there sometimes isn't one or not one that is unisex enabling other sex carer. If places had adequate facilities then this sort of problem wouldn't arise. I don't think swimming pools should be allowed to operate without one.

I think it must be a legal requirement to provide a unisex disabled change. I can't imagine my workplace would have installed it otherwise.

"I think it must be a legal requirement to provide a unisex disabled change. I can't imagine my workplace would have installed it otherwise."

One of the nearest pools to us doesn't have one, only larger cubicles in the male and female changing rooms. You are told to use the not large disabled toilet in the reception area to change in.

Having said that, I wouldn't see a vulnerable and disabled man as any kind of threat

I was 12-13 when a man with downs syndrome unzipped his trousers at me in the clothes section at ASDA.

His carer was absolutely mortified.

Some people with disabilities don't fully understand why what they're doing is wrong. But it is wrong. It shouldn't be done.

I was absolutely mortified.

Just because some one has a disability with their own set of vulnerabilities does not mean they are not a threat.

Has the mansplainer fucked off yet?

How was he a threat? The carer was with him, so he couldn’t have done anything to you. Also doubtful there were any ill intentions by his actions.

She was 12 Stop trying to make someone who was flashed at (the lack of malicious intent is not relevant) at the age of 12 seem to be over dramatising.

Indecent exposure is a crime.
Hope that helps.