Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want service, not unsolicited advice or comments?

450 replies

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:04

This is frustrating me more and more lately when it comes to the service industry. Everyone has to chip in or feels they know better. A few incidences recently:

I returned an item to a shop; a gift from a friend that was the wrong size. The assistant checks the date on the receipt, starts processing the return and then says ‘You know today is the absolute last day you could have brought it back?’ I said yes, that’s why I’d come! He sort of laughed as if this was somehow cheeky, rather than me just returning something within the set period.

In a restaurant I asked for the salt when they brought out the food. Waitress narrows her eyes, pauses and then says ‘Have you tried it?’ I said ‘Not yet - but when I do, I might want salt. Please can you bring the salt?’ I don’t want her opinion, just the bloody salt!

Another restaurant. The waiter brings out the card machine; I move to take it so I can insert my card to pay. He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’ and go to take the machine again. He pulls it back again and says ‘No, you can for that amount’. I say ‘Yes, for that amount - but not with this card’. He then finally lets me have the machine. If he’d just let me pay how I wanted it would have taken seconds.

Local leisure centre - there’s a counter where you get a basket for your things and hand it to the cloakroom attendant. I take my bag over to put in a basket and the attendant tries to grab it before I can. ‘All bagged up?’, she says, then ‘Ooh no, one of your zips is open’. I say ‘I know, it’s broken. But it’ll be in the basket anyway.’ She says ‘Oh, you don’t need a basket; I’ll just put it on the side’. I say no, something might fall out; I’ll take a basket. She says ‘No, it’ll be fine on the side; nothing will fall out’. I say I’d still prefer a basket. She says ‘Can I ask what the issue is with me just putting the bag on the side?’ I say - pretty coldly by this point - ‘Please can you just give me a basket?’ She eventually does, muttering something about ‘It just makes more work for us’. There would have been zero extra work if she’d just let me hand her a basket like everyone else instead of picking an argument!

I went to get my mobile phone screen fixed. When I return later to collect it, he asks ‘How long have you had the device?’ I say ‘Abour four months; why?’ He says, ‘And this is your first repair?’ None of your damn business! I’m not asking you to do it for free - you don’t need to know if I’ve dropped my phone once or do it on a weekly basis!

Is it really too much to ask to just be served without commentary, questions or tips on how to do it better?

OP posts:
JemimaPuddlegoose · 08/08/2022 19:37

MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:33

Well you sound as hard work as OP 😂 lol

Err you just had a post deleted for screaming a really nasty abusive term at the OP, and are all over this thread obsessively screeching at the OP for having the audacity to checks notes occasionally be frustrated by rude customer service reps.

The level of aggression you've shown here is honestly really disturbing, MumasaurusRex. What do you get out of bullying strangers?

MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/08/2022 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Currently 51% of the poll believe the OP is being unreasonable. Seems an awful lot of us to be labelled 'insane' and 'bullies'.

Sometimeswinning · 08/08/2022 19:41

CarrieKurz · 08/08/2022 19:35

I get you. All people should be allowed to wish others to fuck off. It feels nice..in the moment. And to think about all the things you could have told the waitress, phone guy, the call center operators (my fav) to make them feel misserable. A wonderful thing. No amounts of omeprazol can denny you of that feeling!!!

Thankyou for completely getting my completely undramatic fuck off to assuming I need medication!

PalourGamer · 08/08/2022 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You’ve already had one post deleted for calling me a bitch. Are you aiming for a hat-trick?

OP posts:
MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:47

😂😂😂

JemimaPuddlegoose · 08/08/2022 19:48

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/08/2022 19:41

Currently 51% of the poll believe the OP is being unreasonable. Seems an awful lot of us to be labelled 'insane' and 'bullies'.

Obviously I was referring to the posters calling the OP "bitch", "unhinged", and other abusive terms.

A 50:50 poll surely proves that it's not a clear case of unreasonableness?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/08/2022 19:49

Well it certainly doesn't prove that those who think the OP IS being unreasonable must all be 'insane'.

Jem57 · 08/08/2022 19:49

One bad attitude,get a grip!!!

OriginalUsername2 · 08/08/2022 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Exactly. Pretty gross to see women piling on. I’m glad OP isn't taking it.

PalourGamer · 08/08/2022 20:01

as for saying you don’t need a “waitress” to tell you anything… careful you don’t fall off that high horse..

I’m not sure why you have “waitress” in quote marks. She was indeed a “waitress”. And no, I didn’t want her opinion on how I ate my own meal. I don’t see how that equates to being on my high horse.

OP posts:
angelfacecuti75 · 08/08/2022 20:13

Does it REALLY matter?
You do not have to take their comments to heart a lot of companies make it compulsary to have a chat about what you have bought to "reassure" you about what you have bought. They are, in essence, probably just doing their job , making conversation (like the company has told them to , usually) and making throwaway comments as they speak to hundreds of people a day on min wage, putting up with a lot of rude , entitled , intolerant people. They are not robots designed just to serve you. They are fallible , imperfect people , paid the absolute minimum to do a heck of a lot , are probably struggling to put food on the table and do not think about it as much as you do. Hey, i get being busy and not wanting to talk , and just wanting things to go smoothly . But a bit of gumption /assertiveness (which you clearly have in your description of the convo with the bag & woman)& not worrying so much about being rude. You were not being rude, you were stating your needs. Again , with the card provider a simple "no it does not work as contactless" would have saved a lot of faffing. I think you worry too much from your post, what others think of you. Just say what you need. It is not rude if you use please and ty. God knows about the phone though. Just live and let live a bit.

Flamingooooooooooooooo · 08/08/2022 20:15

going against the consensus here OP but I’m with you 😆 I must be hard work too

angelfacecuti75 · 08/08/2022 20:19

And by "live and let live" i mean ...you are probably one of hundreds of customers they see. Try not to take it personally or think you are being unreasonable just because you want a bit of salt . She was probably rushed off her feet and did not want to go and get the salt. Just smile and use the broken record technique ("no i have not tasted it but i would like some salt please& ty" x infinity and looking at her quizically or asking "why do u say that to make her feel uncomfortable about asking with a cocked head and slitty eyes or make a joke of it ) .

RachaelN · 08/08/2022 20:55

You sound like me when I'm due on 😂 I become such a cow and have no patience for anyone in the world. So I totally get it.

jetadore · 08/08/2022 21:06

What’s that saying? If you meet one annoying person in a day, they’re probably annoying, if everyone you meet is annoying, then maybe it’s you?

Yourcatisnotsorry · 08/08/2022 21:11

Yabu and need to read less into things. You can also be upfront to reduce such conversations if they irritate you. Eg, say ‘this card doesn’t do contactless’ the first time they tell you you can use it.

ldontWanna · 08/08/2022 21:14

Conversation with doctor today.
D: you need to stop baking cakes.
Me: ermmm..
D: you bake amazing cakes don't you? You need to stop making them and eating them.
Me: uhmm I guess?
D: i knew it! I knew you baked great cakes. But that needs to stop now.
Me: ok, so I'm cutting down sugar, anything else?

I don't bake or even eat cake really. She just went with something(based on the fact that I'm fat and high sugars), completely made up and rolled with it.

It was pointless,ridiculous , a waste of however long that took and not particularly informative or useful in any way. Confused

Dahliasandtea · 08/08/2022 21:19

I personally think you are being unreasonably aggressive towards almost everyone who has disagreed with you on this thread. But some of them have been kind of rude to you…. so perhaps I would be defensive too.

I would suggest that you look at how you are reacting to these situations and consider why it is that little harmless interactions cause you such irritation. Bécause one can actually go through life and not have these things irritate you, you know. My mother can’t. She would react like you. So would my sister probably. I learned a while ago that I can choose how I respond to situations but I can’t change the world around me. I learned how to respond differently and I’m a lot happier now. My mother and sister still walking around irritated by the world….

PenelopeGarseeya · 08/08/2022 21:24

Oh god OP I feel your pain. My DH does this. I can’t think of any examples but something like me asking him to get ABC and him saying don’t you want XYZ? I’ll say no, if I wanted XYZ I’d have asked for it. It makes me sound mardy but he will do it with EVERY SINGLE THING!! He questions everything and it’s exhausting. You sound a bit like me where you get so worn down by it your tolerance is lower than if it happened once in a blue moon.

StaunchMomma · 08/08/2022 21:54

Do you, like me, just feckin hate people, OP? 😂

They're so annoying 😁

Maverickess · 08/08/2022 21:55

I returned an item to a shop; a gift from a friend that was the wrong size. The assistant checks the date on the receipt, starts processing the return and then says ‘You know today is the absolute last day you could have brought it back?’ I said yes, that’s why I’d come! He sort of laughed as if this was somehow cheeky, rather than me just returning something within the set period.
You've decided there what this guy was thinking for him, he asked you if you knew it was the last day, he 'sort of laughed' and you've decided that he thinks you're cheeky on the strength of that, and have taken offence. He gave you information, he responded to your reply to that information. That's it.

In a restaurant I asked for the salt when they brought out the food. Waitress narrows her eyes, pauses and then says ‘Have you tried it?’ I said ‘Not yet - but when I do, I might want salt. Please can you bring the salt?’ I don’t want her opinion, just the bloody salt!

She didn't give you an opinion though, she asked you a question. You replied to the question. There's also other reasons why someone may narrow their eyes other than because you're very important and therefore should not be asked any questions ever lest you infer that someone is giving you an opinion.

Another restaurant. The waiter brings out the card machine; I move to take it so I can insert my card to pay. He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’ and go to take the machine again. He pulls it back again and says ‘No, you can for that amount’. I say ‘Yes, for that amount - but not with this card’. He then finally lets me have the machine. If he’d just let me pay how I wanted it would have taken seconds.

Many people don't actually know the contactless amount, so in the first instance he was giving you information, and you have the trend of people expecting everything laid out for them and wanting their every whim satisfied by telepathy to thank for that, it's why so many places offer this kind of information on spec, the amount of times someone doesn't ask a question about something but then complained that they weren't told this information is ridiculous - overall it's what customers demand, so it's what happens. Personally after you said about the PIN the first time I think he should have inferred from that that you needed to insert the card, I would have, but it's hardly the end of the world is it?

Local leisure centre - there’s a counter where you get a basket for your things and hand it to the cloakroom attendant. I take my bag over to put in a basket and the attendant tries to grab it before I can. ‘All bagged up?’, she says, then ‘Ooh no, one of your zips is open’. I say ‘I know, it’s broken. But it’ll be in the basket anyway.’ She says ‘Oh, you don’t need a basket; I’ll just put it on the side’. I say no, something might fall out; I’ll take a basket. She says ‘No, it’ll be fine on the side; nothing will fall out’. I say I’d still prefer a basket. She says ‘Can I ask what the issue is with me just putting the bag on the side?’ I say - pretty coldly by this point - ‘Please can you just give me a basket?’ She eventually does, muttering something about ‘It just makes more work for us’. There would have been zero extra work if she’d just let me hand her a basket like everyone else instead of picking an argument!

I think you saying she picked an argument is a bit harsh tbh, but I do think that she was rude and a bit awkward in the process of trying to save herself some work, but unfortunately service workers are also fallible human beings who occasionally don't get things right or make mistakes and have bad days. Only way that'll ever be avoided is by not having humans doing service jobs.

I went to get my mobile phone screen fixed. When I return later to collect it, he asks ‘How long have you had the device?’ I say ‘Abour four months; why?’ He says, ‘And this is your first repair?’ None of your damn business! I’m not asking you to do it for free - you don’t need to know if I’ve dropped my phone once or do it on a weekly basis!

You just seem to be looking for an issue here, part of customer service is interacting with customers, that's what he was doing, and actually in a positive way, giving a compliment on the care of your phone. So many people complain of miserable, surly and grumpy customer service staff and yet when they're not, that's not good enough either. That attitude is probably why people are saying that you appear to think anyone serving you is beneath you.

Tbh you sound like you're the type of customer who looks for issues in every interaction and will find one no matter how small. Your reactions to relatively small incidents are disproportionate to what actually happened, as described in your own words (and I suspect exaggerated anyway, like the description of the laugh and eye narrowing) and with people who are looking for ways to be pissed off with the service they're getting, it's impossible to get anything right.

You've also kind of proved that mindset with some of your replies to the opinions you asked for on an open forum, asking if you're being unreasonable.

Pinkfluff76 · 08/08/2022 21:56

I agree. Most people are annoying and stupid. I feel your pain OP!!

Buffs · 08/08/2022 21:57

I quite like people making suggestions because sometimes they’re helpful.it’s easy enough to deal with chat that isn’t.