To not want to live longer

[AmIAlone52]

Probably not the wisest place to put this but hell, let's do it. I will preface by saying I do have depression, which is managed well but is probably impacting on my thinking here.

Am I the only person who doesn't want to live a "long life"? I exercise and am currently eating in a calorie deficit to try and lose some baby weight (DC is definitely no longer a baby) but a lot of the fitness media I consume has been impacted by the body positivity/neutrality movement and consequently has a big focus on exercising for health and longevity rather than the way your body looks, and yet all I can think when I see this is "I don't want to live that long"

Whilst I'm not doing anything to deliberately endagner my health (non smoker, rarely drink, no drugs or self harm etc) I am not looking to go out of my way to improve things. I don't want to.

Am I completely insane thinking this? Does everyone else want to live as long as possible?

Same, i just want to live a life i can enjoy , no point living for longer if you cant do anything at all and just slumped in a chair in a nursing home?

1 in 10 need to sell their home for care

Why do you think it will be you ?

Please go see your doctor - that's not normal or rational way to think

This. in some way this Makes me smile as it is always young people say this…remember mick saying back in 60s or 70s that “ I'd rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I'm forty-five”…hasn’t stopped him though has it?

There are times when some of us do want to just give it all up and stop with the stress life gives us. Been there frequently. Sometimes because of full blown depression, sometimes because I have moments of temporary deep despair or emotional tiredness. That is not the same though as not wanting to live out your full life when you are mentally well

The reality of your body starting to let you down starts touching women in their 50s as we come into menopause..most of us realise then we still have loads to live for…our ever extending families if we’ve had children. Or the sheer bloody mindedness of I am going to get my pension and retire and enjoy life without the burden of kids or work. It is about how much thought you put into planning your later life and setting yourself up for that when you are younger..saving for that pension, decision about where you live, developing hobbies that will take you into old age etc.

personally I never thought I’d get to my age of nearly 60. My female line all died before they were 60. I feel I’m on borrowed time and sometimes that is difficult oddly. But I am retired and I have a fuller social life, more friends, more time to do what I want now then since I was in my teens. I enjoy my life, and know there are many more enjoyable things to come.

How old are you?
I'm 49 in a couple of months I have a nearly 16 year old and a 12 year old I'm far from past it I verybmuch hope I do live beyond 50!

It's not about my body it's about the horrible things which happen in this world and that I can see no end to, the climate too. I often think "I won't be sad to leave this" although of course if I wouldn't want to leave my children. how incredibly morbid I feel now

I want to live well not just long-lived for the sake of it. Both my mother and FIL died very suddenly after a few health problems (but nothing overwhelming) in their mid-seventies, a little too soon but not protracted.

My dad and MIL survived to their mid-nineties, one with a rare and horrible cancer and the other with dementia - respectively in hospital and residential care for weeks/months at the end. Who, in their right mind, would want that? Who'd want to live so long, being unable to get themselves to a lavatory unaided or forgetting what a lavatory is? No thanks.

I take reasonable care of myself without going overboard. A good thing about dying younger is avoiding the indignity of old age which rarely comes unaccompanied.

What a horrible post that sums up how little understanding some people - usually naturally cheerful ones like you (lucky you btw) still don't understand mental health.

True I sometimes wallowed in my conditions when I was a teenager because I knew no better. Now I do everything in my power to keep the black dog at bay and to try and not let it take over during an episode. I'd love to be happy and to never be miserable but I certainly don't "choose it".

Put your energy into changing the world / it is still possible

As a PP said, I never wanted to go past 50. I'm almost 51 now and very bored and fed up. I shouldn't wish it but I wouldn't be upset if I was given my 'leave the vehicle by the left hand door' ticket any time now!

Put it this way

We have just come out of covid lock down/restrictions of 2 years

Although I continued to work FT throughout

I am now making the most of my freedom, meeting up with friends & family, booking things to do, booking holidays, travelling, doing all the things that we couldn't do !

Life is too short & none of us have a crystal ball

I know people that have passed away far too early & would love to still be here.....RIP

We haven't had any covid restrictions for over a year..

Clearly from thread lots of people feel that they would like the option to die peacefully once they are suffering from terminal illness or incurable disabilities and quality of life has gone. In several countries such as Switzerland or Canada and a few others there is that legal option. Only Switzerland allow foreign visitors but is expensive and quite difficult to arrange.

Fair enough to feel like that now but you have no idea how you'll feel when you're older. My dad is in his 80s with numerous health problems and now unable to walk. It certainly seems like his quality of life is poor. However, he most definitely does not want to die. Whenever he has a health scare he becomes very frightened that death is imminent. Don't underestimate the will to live!

My health has been quite shocking for some time now, I think even if I get the opportunity to live a long life I won't want it, because my life quality will be so so poor. As it is i don't think I'm going to have that opportunity. I have stopped worrying about my pension because I won't be around to spend it. I have been told by my consultant not to expect to live beyond 70 at the most, and that was a few years ago if my health was moving in the right direction, which it isn't. My family history would tell me that it's likely I will die when I retire, so I don't intend to do so

Who would pay for my care?

Indeed both my.parents are 80,and my mum in particular is quite frail
Neither want to die just yet!

Omg that's sad . I'm in my 50's and absolutely living my best life .

This is probably very individual. Some who live with poverty or chronic pain/ill health or depression for example can’t always see the joy in life and don’t want 80 years of it. Understandable.

I come from a family that have health problems( lifestyle related mostly) and tend not to live a long life. I’m now very health focused, I eat well, exercise and look after myself. Of course it’s not perfect I like a drink or two once a week.I want to live for now but some of this should hopefully help in later life.

My partners parents are healthy in their 80s. Sure they have had illness but have come through most even cancer. But they live a lovely life and I wouldn’t mind living til that age in their health and circumstances.

I'm in my 30s and suffer from a chronic pain condition that affects my mobility. I often think to myself as I struggle to go to the toilet, or stand up or walk, how am I ever going to manage as an eldery person?
My nan died at 92 and had a sad existence for the last 15 years of her life. My aunt is currently on palliative care in hospital also 92, she has been confined to a chair for the past 30 years, and has been in a care home since just before covid which meant she couldn't see anyone and was in a room on her own staring at a wall. This affected her mental health severely and she tells us all the time that she wants to die. Her heart is very strong!! I can't bare the thought of this at all.

My family has typically hit 80 without any health issues, so I'm ok with that. Three of my grandparents got dementia around 83-84, and I don't want to subject myself or my family to that, so I'd rather go before it becomes a burden.

X2boys

Some of the countries that I like to travel to, have only recently ended their covid restrictions

Therefore, it is not the same every where

This is very sad to read....I'm 57 and loving life....3 AC who are a joy...3 GD who I adore....mortgage paid ...nhs pension ....I feel very lucky....my mum is 86 and loves her life... I hope you manage to find some joy

We have longevity in our family, nan died at 103, dad is 93, his sister 91, uncle 94, wife 90.

All good ages but they all have severe health issues. Two with heart failure, one can barely walk, one has dementia and dad also has a blood condition. They also have a myriad of minor things too, old age forgetfulness being one of the more worrying aspects at that age.

All us younger kids of the above are all 50s and 60s, so far none of us have any nasty conditions or illnesses, hope it stays that way.

Clearly from thread lots of people feel that they would like the option to die peacefully once they are suffering from terminal illness or incurable disabilities and quality of life has gone. In several countries such as Switzerland or Canada and a few others there is that legal option. Only Switzerland allow foreign visitors but is expensive and quite difficult to arrange.

it would have been much better for our family if DF had this option or pursued Switzerland, instead he shot himself, terminal illness, I get why he did it which helps.