To not want to live longer

[AmIAlone52]

Probably not the wisest place to put this but hell, let's do it. I will preface by saying I do have depression, which is managed well but is probably impacting on my thinking here.

Am I the only person who doesn't want to live a "long life"? I exercise and am currently eating in a calorie deficit to try and lose some baby weight (DC is definitely no longer a baby) but a lot of the fitness media I consume has been impacted by the body positivity/neutrality movement and consequently has a big focus on exercising for health and longevity rather than the way your body looks, and yet all I can think when I see this is "I don't want to live that long"

Whilst I'm not doing anything to deliberately endagner my health (non smoker, rarely drink, no drugs or self harm etc) I am not looking to go out of my way to improve things. I don't want to.

Am I completely insane thinking this? Does everyone else want to live as long as possible?

My grandmother is 90 and living a great life. When I told her I was worried about forty she told me the meat of life was all after fifty abs your not living until then. My mum is 60, healthy, beautiful and travelling abs looking for a new job at the moment. If I can live like them then I want to stick around.
@AlwaysAugust are you ok hun? 😂

@SonSonSon same, I'm a single mum to my dd10'who is autistic, I'm terrified of leaving her, she needs me so much. I'm 48 next week and creeping towards 50, bit scared !

I like your thread OP
and I like your post @AlwaysAugust

not that you need my approval 😂

I liked turning 40 but one person sent a card saying "here's to the next 40 years". That one went straight in the bin!

What ? I'm only a few years off that now and my life has just started to get more fun and interesting! Once your children are off hand it opens up so many more possibilities it's great

@Mycatsgoldtooth Hahah apparently not 😂

I want to be around with all my facilities for as long as physically possible, i want to be around to see everything our DS does, i want to grow old(er) with my DH.

I just hope my body doesn't let me down too early like my DMs did.

My gran is 98 and it is a struggle I think - my grandparents were long living and for all of the mid 80s was it

I think you are sensible and realistic and completely agree. I'd like to live long enough to see the dcs settled, I'm 63. 70 would be ok with me. I do have chronic pain, arthritus in almost every joint but it's not that. It's the feeling that I've had my share. Like when you are on a roundabout or swing as a kid and it's exciting and lovely and then tedious and then you just want to get off.

I’ve seen my Mum and Gran both die of bowel cancer in their late 70s. I never want to die that way. If I can live to see my kids grow up and keep my independence for as long as possible I’d be very happy to suddenly drop dead in my mid 60s rather than keep going and going and going.

The thing that scares me the most is losing my independence. I’ve seen people in nursing homes and hospices being spoon fed and wheeled about and not being able to live their life the way they choose and that terrifies me.

The thing is you don't know, in my experience, when infirmity will "get you".

it's certainly got me now and I'd quite like to die now. I'm not depressed in the usual way. I'm pretty fed up that I cannot do what I'd like to do. Most of my friends and family cannot be bothered with me. I don't blame them. I cannot do much so why would they be bothered?
taking antidepressants would just be a way of denying reality.
I've had a good life, but really, enough is enough.

the fact remains you need to keep yourself as well as possible, because you don't know WHEN infirmity will get you. You may well live without infirmity until your 90s. So you need to be prepared to do so.

Going to order too 😀

No, I definitely wouldn't want to live a long life and I'm hoping euthanisia for humans will become an option for those who choose it, before I reach that stage in life. If there was a button I could press to donate my life to someone who wanted to live longer then I would.

Oops sorry wrong thread 😞

Im 50 in September and already dreading it. Whilst im functioning properly im happy to stick around but once things start packing up and slowing down i will be ready. Quite looking forward to grandchildren but there is zero sign of them materialising any time soon and i cant say i blame my Dcs for not being in any hurry to produce any!

I want to live a rich life for as long as I can. I hate the idea of being dependent on someone and a 'burden' but I want to be able to spend as much time as possible with the people I love. Sometimes depression can make you feel really apathetic about life so if you're not finding joy or fulfilment in anything maybe go back and have a word with your gp because you deserve to have a rich life too.

Death doesn’t scare me but years of infirmity and Ill health before getting to the death part do.
I have spent just over 24 years caring for my disabled mum. The last 10 years she has lived with me. In those 24 years I have also raised nursed my father until his death, nursed my husband until his death, raised my two children one of whom has special needs but is now an adult, working and with some support and whatever money I can leave him when I die will be able to cope especially as he has a sibling who I can rely on to oversea his financial matters.
my mum is now in her middle 80’s, she has been in a wheelchair for 15 years, housebound for the last 5 years and in the last few months I have noticed a clear decline in not only her physical health but also her mental capacity.
I don’t regret the choices I made to care for her, my father or even my husband but I don’t want my children to be in the position where they would have to do any caring for me anything above taking me to the supermarket every few weeks when I can no longer drive would be too much but as long as I am able to care for myself then I want to carry on.

Wow. Maybe some of you should have made something of your lives?

Tbf this post is bad timing. I've just read about a little 11 year old in a lake. So maybe I was best off avoiding this thread!

So you just assume I've achieved nothing? Charmed, I'm sure.

I am in my early fifties and have been bedridden for the last ten years with severe ME, have been too ill to leave the home now for 11 years. Have carers in daily. Life is monotonous but thankfully can read and get online. Can type a little. If I knew I was to die soon I would be ok with that. However, my widowed mum who lives nearby would be devastated if I were to die, we are v close, so for her I know it is better I am alive. I also am still interested in the world. Due to being so sedentary I don’t expect to live beyond 70 nor would I want to if I remain at this level.

Hard to read this as someone with what you’d consider issues of the elderly. I like life, I just adapt. I’m not killing myself and I have chronic pain, should I be thinking about it?

In my 30s.

I suppose it depends on one's definition of a long life. My father is 89 next month, and I'm sure if you asked him he would tell you he isn't ready to go yet. As for the poster who said they can't see anything fun or interesting in life beyond 50 - grow up! I can retire in two years time and I'm counting down the months, I can't wait to not have to work (and yes, I've had a taste of it and it was wonderful).

That's sad to read OP and I think does relate to your Depression. Have you had much therapy?

My life is pretty awful- early 30s, no job, partner, kids, house or car but I would love for it to improve and to live a full and exciting life if possible in the next several decades. Ideally I'd like to die dementia-free but in my 80s or 90s.

Well said @Ameliarosethistle. At least you have a positive attitude, which many on this thread seem to lack.

I have no partner, no children, no siblings, have had no steady income for the last four years (I start a permanent job tomorrow) and few really close friends but I am happy with my life, and am always looking forward to the next chapter.

Oh - forgot to add, I rent and have no car (and am in my 60s)