To not want to live longer

[AmIAlone52]

Probably not the wisest place to put this but hell, let's do it. I will preface by saying I do have depression, which is managed well but is probably impacting on my thinking here.

Am I the only person who doesn't want to live a "long life"? I exercise and am currently eating in a calorie deficit to try and lose some baby weight (DC is definitely no longer a baby) but a lot of the fitness media I consume has been impacted by the body positivity/neutrality movement and consequently has a big focus on exercising for health and longevity rather than the way your body looks, and yet all I can think when I see this is "I don't want to live that long"

Whilst I'm not doing anything to deliberately endagner my health (non smoker, rarely drink, no drugs or self harm etc) I am not looking to go out of my way to improve things. I don't want to.

Am I completely insane thinking this? Does everyone else want to live as long as possible?

I'm in my seventies and fortunate to have excellent health. I retired from a career I loved in my mid sixties and have been involved in regular childcare for my DGC ever since, which I thoroughly enjoy. I would like to have the option to bow out gracefully should my situation change drastically but at the moment that's the furthest thing fro my mind.

I just spent a few days with my lovely mum who is 70.
We went shopping, went for walks, she cooked for me every day and spoilt her grandkids. She joked around with them and we laughed a lot. Her friends visited and they had conversations filled with stories and laughter. She's very independent.
I'm so glad she's still around and hope she has many, many years like this.

I get this feeling a lot, it used to be about not wanting to end up in care, or incapable of doing things for myself/pleasure - life reduced to one room etc. but now I think, if I died earlier on then my children can benefit from their inheritance (such as it is) when they actually need it, that if I could choose a rough age of death, I could make financially sound decisions based on my actual requirements and not guesswork, and therefore at some point I could feasibly retire and say great this is the start of my final 10 years (or shorter if something were to happen) and live how i want to live. Rather than aiming for 70 and hoping i have enough money to support myself, my family and live a little. Not to mention it would totally fuck with the system of making people live to work.

I have an adult child with severe learning disabilities so want to live as long as I can to look after them.

We visited my husbands Nan today. She’s actively dying but has remained independent until the past few weeks (heart is packing up).

She is 92. I would love to live until that age, she had a very full life right up until the end.

Fuck me, 14 months to go until dooms day!

Yep, sounds like fun!!

@AmIAlone52

i think it's probably partly not wanting to die, rather than wanting to live, iyswim.
& partly wanting to see grandchildren grow up & that kind of thing

To be clear, I don't necessarily mean in my own life

I have been lucky in many ways

but dealing with the world and suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - which Shakespeare probably didn't imagine as endless tech, endless overpopulation, a world going faster and faster in a direction I hate, all the things that affect my daily life....

I didn't really expect to see 40. But things improved greatly and I was still here. Then I was told I probably had a fatal cancer - I didn't, but while awaiting results, I knew I didn't want treatment. (The whole shit show was an education, I must say).

When George Michael died, I thought, if I can retire at 50, 53 is fine! But tbh I don't mind if it happens tonight. Just want it to be quick.

i'm quite happy in the daily sense of pootling about and singing along to my fave songs, I enjoy being single and childfree and able to do what I want (within money constraints).

But I think getting older has increased happiness because at 25, staring down the barrel of twice that again was just so awful!

I agree. I’m 45. I don’t see an amazing life ahead of me. I’ve had my chance at kids, marriage, love, career. I’ve been fortunate in many ways but have had some major disasters that have left their mark. I just can’t envisage what else there is apart from travel, which I love. I hope to get my child on his feet and then go. I do look after myself, mainly for my child, not to live a long life. I don’t feel I’ll have a long one anyway.

@Corlegg my opinion on this has changed significantly in the past 2 years. I had a baby before that, and after. The simple answer is i love my life and enjoy a great deal of what i do, i just dont want to do it beyond a time to enjoy it. My grandparents are still alive. All their friends are dead. i think it’s incredibly sad that they are the last.

I'd like euthanasia, to fly to Switzerland and take a pill, once my mental faculties start to go.

lots of research to say women are happier in their later years.

If you’re a year older you should be grateful. It’s a privilege denied to many. Lots of elderly people live full lives with their faculties intact. None of us know what’s ahead of us so main thing is to accept the present and at least try to find moments of joy.

I have gone to terms with my age now, hated turning 40. I enjoy my life, my kids, my husband and my job. I want to get fit, lose weight and or ache so much. But... As long as I can wipe my bum, feed myself and know what I'm doing, I'd like to be here.

Do you live in Sudan or Papua New Guinea, where life expectancy is very low, or something?

I agree, I don't want to live a long life. Mid 60s would suit me but I suspect my kids would hate that so I will try to live a bit longer than that (but not much longer)

Each to their own, but I’d rather not kick the bucket just before retirement! I think I do want to live long, but only if I’m fairly fit and well. It would also depend on how much family I had around. I wouldn’t want to be old and lonely.

I have a life limiting illness so this is very pertinent right now. I could live five years, it could be twenty, but probably not more than that. I am 47 and will feel reasonably happy if I get to my mid-late sixties. More importantly, I want to see DD settled before I shuffle off.

Oh gosh I’m total opposite, I’m terrified of death.
I want to see my children grow up, have children, maybe even meet great-grandchildren. I pay 20% into my pension a month to hopefully enjoy retirement, I’m only late 20s.
I’m terrified I’ll die early & leave my boys.

I’ll be 50 in two months and I’m planning to buy a camper van an tour the uk.

50?! I’m 66, and enjoyed my career as a hospital doctor until I was 61, and have since enjoyed my retirement, including a Baltic cruise to St Petersburg to visit the Hermitage museum, and winter sun holidays to Madeira and Tenerife.
I play in a table tennis club where two of the members are 87 and can thrash me off the table! My bridge partner and I have won national competitions, and I regularly drive 100 mile round trips to visit my DDs for days out.
I was at a Rolling Stones tribute concert recently, and wandered 4 miles round Edinburgh yesterday, soaking up the atmosphere at the Fringe and meeting one of my DDs for sushi. Life is what you make it, OP. If you keep fit and look after your health, you can have a fab time with no childcare and work responsibilities.

50??! I'm working hard for a happy fun filled retirement, I don't want to conk out before I get to enjoy it!!
I hope you save this thread to laugh at one day @August

I’m aiming for 85; but ask me again at 84 ½. The main thing is that I’d like to be fit ad healthy and pain free, then just not wake up next day. And the chances of dying like that are diddly squat.

But I do already have an Advance Decision in place, legal and binding, for if I lose capacity.

BTW Dignitas won’t take you once you are losing your marbles - they have to be sure the decision is 100% yours and that you are in sound mind.

I’d be happy to reach my eighties but all my grandparents lived into their nineties and the last couple of years weren’t great for them. I don’t want that.

I also work within healthcare and I've seen some people alive with a quality of life I personally wouldn't want. I hope they allow assisted dying within my life time. I'd be happy living a long life if I was healthy. If my body and mind really start failing I wouldn't want to be here.

I'm feeling very like you OP...a little bit done....eldest DD just graduated with a 1st in her Law degree...second doing A levels on track to do ok....worked full time since 18 years old...tired, done, need just me time but not sure when that is going' to happen xx

I only want to live when my husband is alive. I hope he outlives me. Once he’s gone, I will be gone too, so for my yanbu. Each to their own.