To not want to live longer

[AmIAlone52]

Probably not the wisest place to put this but hell, let's do it. I will preface by saying I do have depression, which is managed well but is probably impacting on my thinking here.

Am I the only person who doesn't want to live a "long life"? I exercise and am currently eating in a calorie deficit to try and lose some baby weight (DC is definitely no longer a baby) but a lot of the fitness media I consume has been impacted by the body positivity/neutrality movement and consequently has a big focus on exercising for health and longevity rather than the way your body looks, and yet all I can think when I see this is "I don't want to live that long"

Whilst I'm not doing anything to deliberately endagner my health (non smoker, rarely drink, no drugs or self harm etc) I am not looking to go out of my way to improve things. I don't want to.

Am I completely insane thinking this? Does everyone else want to live as long as possible?

I think you're on a wind up, but in case you're not... I'm 52, my kids are early 20's and fun, independent adults. I have an interesting and challenging job. I'm fit and active, today I've run 7 miles and been lake swimming. I've been married 30 years and me and DH still have fun together.

TLDR: 52 not dead yet, life is fun!

@AlwaysAugust Ah, well. I think you may change your mind as you get higher up the forties hill!

No the thought of living past an age where I can look after myself and have a meaningful life terrifies me. I’d rather go now than longer for years having to be cared for. Always quality over quantity. Even as a child the thought of heaven terrified me as the thought of living forever isn’t something I want.

I’m laughing at the thought of nothing great happening after 50!!! You are SO wrong.

I have dependents so need to live as long as possible.

I'm
Past 50 and definitely not ready to depart

I'm fit active and tons left to do

My mother is in her 80s and slowing down - 8 mile hikes are her limit these days and she has used the word decrepit about herself sometimes but then the doctor gave her some iron pills and physio and that's sorted that out

Sone people decay and get dementia but not all, not even the majority

I have 53 as being more than enough
I'm 46.

it's not just health, it's watching the same shit go round the turntable.

This thread has cheered me up!

But that age is unlikely to be 50

You may never reach that state

I mean why not end it all now ? You could get hit by a bus tomorrow and end up a vegetable

My MIL is in her 90’s and is existing in a nursing home. It’s not what I’d want.

50??
I'm 62 and am having more fun now than I did 20 years ago.
If you choose to be a miserable bugger, you will be

Depression definitely plays a part but is also something that is unlikely to be "cured" so why would I want to live with this for another 50 years?

I'm in my 30s and I'm under no illusion that life stops at 50/retirement/75 etc, it's just that I don't want to still be kicking around.

I have a great DD and hoping for another sooner or later, but really a big driving force behind wanting another child is so that Dd doesn't have to care for me/grieve alone, I'd like her to have that support.

My dad is 92 and still lives independently. Up until 3 years ago he was still cycling and walking everywhere. He watches documentaries about all sorts of things and reads avidly.
My mum is 81 and living a miserable, frustrating existence in a nursing home after a huge stroke robbed her of most mobility 6 years ago. It's utterly heartbreaking.
So I can see both sides of it.

Seeing my mum's fate has made me completely determined to end things if I am permanently felled by infirmity, either mental or physical.

I used to know someone who was a heavy smoker because he didn’t want to live into old age. He died aged 74 two weeks before his youngest son graduated from his PhD and while his daughter was pregnant. He had a lot of regrets.
It’s very difficult to make decisions for future you.

I'm 35 and neurologically unwell the last year+ I'm very much in the kill me now rather than later category. I have a progressive neurological condition already and know how shit it could be for me, I might reach that time with my dc that it's time for me to check out.

Completely agree. Same shit day in day out. Bit depressing but I'm not even enjoying life now so why would I be in 15+ years time?

I had kids late so this influences my thoughts. If I'd had kids by 25 and they followed a similar time line, then by 75 I may well feel I'd done what I needed to in life. As it is by 75, if my twins follow my time line they'll just be having kids and ij think I'd feel like there was more to do

No it is crap
Everyone I know over 80 has either dementia or serious medical issues
If I dont die by then in my sleep I have a living will in place to ensure that I dont end in a home.

I'm gobsmacked by some of the posts here. My stepmum did a PhD in her fifties and published her first novel (with a 3 book deal) in her seventies. My 73 year old father is currently on holiday with a group on friends on a Greek island. My grandmother had a whale of a time in her seventies and eighties, travelling the world with a freedom she hadn't had when tied to a young family. I'm looking forward to getting older, and hope I have the opportunity to do so.

Three score years and ten will do me

No

It is crap for sone people

Many older people aren't in such a state

And many younger people are

I am 50 & ok, feel much younger tho. Felt older at 30.

But my 85 yo neighbour is amazing, kicks our arses, plays golf 3x a week, goes on boys holidays, socialises, regularly drives 5hrs to dog and kid sit....they bog off abroad for 3 months a year...

Try not to worry about it, OP. I've felt the same all my life. I basically stay around for everyone else's benefit.

I was quite unwell with a chronic illness a few years ago, and life really was a bit miserable. It's much better now though.

It's worth hanging out for retirement, honest!

Sometimes I wonder if it's Russian agents starting these sort of "kill the old people" threads

Really easy to stir up divisions , blame the pensioners for all your problems , kill then off as too old , stop treating anyone over 50 to save the NHS

Quite inhumane

No, you’re not alone. Frankly, I dread the future. This summer has really frightened me. That 40 degree heat was unbelievable. And next week it’s going to be in the 90s again!! Something is seriously wrong.

More generally, I just don’t like 21st century Britain. It’s so unbearably crowded, with horrible new estates being built everywhere. Even my local woods are being hacked into to make way for rows of ghastly rabbit hutches, all squeezed together. Now matter how many they build, it’s never enough.

As for my personal life, I see nothing ahead but pain. Soon my mother will get ill. Who knows what little horror nature has in store - cancer, dementia, Alzheimer’s. Whatever it is, I’m going to be looking after her, which probably means years of stress and heartache. Then it will be my turn. Only I will have no one to support me through it. Nor will I have any money.

If there was an instant, painless way out, leaving no one and nothing behind. I would take it. I often wish I could just disappear. I don’t want to die (I’m terrified of dying). I want to vanish/evaporate/ be atomised, taking the few people I love with me. Life isn’t worth the struggle.

Those of you who feel like this and have children, why on Earth did you bring children into the world? If it's so awful and you're just waiting to die, why on Earth inflict that on another generation?