To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

But…. Yous asked her a question and she answered!? I don’t get it, why is that offensive?

my friend offered me custard or cream the other day. I chose cream and told her I don’t like custard. Was that offensive too?

Your friend is bang on the money, and there is absolutely nothing to be offended about. My life is dictated to by the needs of my dog. Holidays abroad are out of the question, I couldn't stand to be apart from him for 2 weeks and the people I trust to look after him I could write on the back of a postage stamp. We will only go away if he comes with us. He is left for a max of 4 hours a day due to mine and dp's working hours. Spontaneous days out drinking and socialising don't exist - not with each other anyway.

I think your friend's words were wise. I'd probably reflect on them rather than being offended.

If you are getting a pup, prepare for things in your house to be chewed. It is part and parcel of owning a young dog.

The love and joy they bring is enough for me to make the above sacrifices, and it is something that I'm happy to do. They give is the best days of our lives, but also one of the worst.

I wish you and your new dog a wonderful life together, with many happy moments. Look after him or her 😁

How do you justify buying and thereby perpetuating the breeding of a brachycephalic dog? It’s just cruel, knowing the dog is likely to need surgical intervention to enable it to breathe in future.Why buy a dog that isn’t fit for function and get lost with your ‘respected breeder’ crap. Nobody is breeding brachycephalic dogs in order to improve the breed/cares about their welfare. I hope we go for a ban like other countries have. You really are tying yourself down (did I read your dp contributes nothing?!) and I say this as the owner of 3 spoiled dogs and as someone whose day revolves around them.

We have a dog. Love him to bits, but he is a real tie. Every decision we make... from staying out longer than planned, to how much spare money we keep, to holiday plans, to taking the kids somewhere for the day where there are no dogs allowed, to going to other people's houses for more than a couple hours, even our work schedules, all have to take the dog into consideration. Either your life and priorities will change dramatically when you get a dog, or you will end up paying out a ton of money to doggy daycare etc to keep the life you have. I love all our pets and my family get a lot out of them, but in return, they cost time, money, effort, thought, energy and hassle. Borrow someone's dog for a couple of weeks, then multiply the head space required massively for an untrained puppy, and you'll have at least a bit of an idea of what your friend is talking about! Throw in some expensive chewed shoes, poo on the carpet, vomit on the stairs, hair in the butter and you'll be there!

@Brigante9

Exactly! There are SO many other options for a dog breed 😩

I feel exactly the same as your friend. Just because she has a different opinion doesn’t mean she’s wrong and it’s the exact reason we don’t have a dog. I think she’s being very responsible actually.

Seen youre not coming back but regardless your friend is right
I love my dog but having him is a pain in the arse

You asked, she answered. She was honest and I don’t think she is jealous. Maybe her tone was a bit sharp? Do you think she should have added ‘ But it sounds a nice idea for you’?

I think she’s being totally honest - all valid reasons. Why did you ask if you didn’t want an honest answer?

I’m a shitter friend because I would also tell
you not to get a French Bulldog who will be riddled with pain and health problems it’s whole life.

OP you are being selfish “happy to take the risk” of the dog having ailments - you are missing the point totally, these dogs struggle to breathe, have to have their nostrils drilled, soft pallets cut, have terrible digestive problems and bad reflux ulcerating their oesophagus’ - they have a sad and painful life - their average life span is less than 5 years - don’t get one

She’s totally being honest. I got a dog after having cats and she has been far more work than my kids 😂😂😂😂. She sounds far less gung ho and impulsive than me!!

You sound as though you have a really sensible and honest friend who’s kind enough to give you a reality check.

Team friend

She was honest. You don't like that's she right.

People here have been honest too. You don't like it so you've stropped off.

For what it's worth you don't need to disappoint your kids. You can get a dog. But maybe one who can breathe properly. Pfft

i have dogs - and i agree with her. I would not have anymore after these go, they are very restrictive!

I have a 9 year old Pug and I regret my decision every day. I love the breed and she is a fantastic dog but she has suffered too much. She had throat and nose surgery for her breathing aged two and has had many eye ulcers culminating in recent eyelid surgery, it's not fair on her and I despise the breeders who are knowingly inflicting this on dogs, just for money. Obviously i as the owner am partly to blame for buying her but like most people I hoped she wouldn't be too badly affected/ didn't realise the full extent of the problems brachycephalic breeds face. Needless to say the only pug I would have in future would be a rescue. Breeding them needs to be banned.

I've got 2 dogs. They are lovely but its a complete lifestyle dominating choice.
Dogs, especially puppies can really take it out of you. They can put a huge strain on your time, energy, money, freedom, your home, everything really. Your friend sounds extremely insightful and sensible.
I would run any ideas you have past her in the future because she is no ones fool.

She’s just answering your question. I’d feel the same - I love dogs but I don’t want to own one for all the reasons that your friend said. My cat is already enough of a commitment and cats are ok to be left longer than dogs. I’m not jealous of people who own dogs and I don’t think my life is better than theirs either - I just don’t feel like I’m the right person to own a dog at the moment for those reasons.

There aren’t any respectable breeders of brachycephalic dogs. The cruelty of people is astounding, purchasing a dog that is likely going to be in constant pain and struggle to breathe because people ‘coo’ over them. Gross.

Oh my goodness she’s definitely not jealous! She’s spot on and good for her for being honest. 100% why we don’t have a dog, so much responsibility and I definitely wouldn’t get that breed if we were to get a dog!

I am a bit offended as I feel like she always has a say on things I want to do in my life

Your first post says that you specifically asked her if she would ever get a dog and she said no and explained why. Get a grip and stop being so sensitive. I love dogs myself and love to have one, but your friend’s position is totally valid and reasonable.

Must admit I do inwardly roll my eyes at all the families I’ve passed in the last couple of years toting their French Bulldog. Or pug (although they’re passé now aren’t they, so five years ago) and that other pop-eyed breed that’s in vogue at the moment…Boston Terrier?
Apart from all the associated health issues, they’re not cute. The poor things are an odd choice to me but clearly fashion dictates. There are so many.

Your friend sounds very sensible, wish all people had those thoughts before getting a pet, the rescue centres would be so quiet and so many fewer ex pets would have to die.

I don't think OP will be back... good luck for that puppy.

I love my dog and wouldn’t be without him but she’s not wrong.