My friend, a new friend, makes me feel a bit scummy! Maybe scummy is too strong a word, but I feel very messy in comparison
She has a disabled DS and a toddler DD.
House smells and looks clean. Not artificial clean. It just smells fresh and crisp.
Kids bedrooms spotless.
She irons everything of the DC. She said she sets aside time once a week and does it watching something good
Her car is clean. Despite kids. Smells wonderful. Her DS has high care needs. She kindly gave me a lift recently. He was hysterical and she gave him some crisps. We got back. He was playing with blocks in the garden. She told toddler she would be 5 minutes and asked her toddler to think of 5 things beginning with P, something like that. In that time she whipped her hoover out, hoovered up all the he had made with the crisps and gave it all a quick go over with some spray and a cloth
Kids have their pjs laid out whilst getting ready for bath. Their beds are immaculately made. Clothes all put away neatly and ironed.
She has all their bags packed and sorted the night before (her DD goes to nursery one day a week). All her son's clothes are labelled with this cute little ink thing that says his name with a little symbol of a bear next to it
Her children are always so clean and fresh. When they get out of the bath they're moisturised with something she's used since they were little babies. Perfectly turned out even for bed! Her DD is SO good! And she's 2.5! A really hard age. She doesn't ask for anything, if she gets upset my friend explains why she can't do or have it, then proceeds to make her daughter feel as if she's in control for example by asking if she wants to play with her bricks when she's home? Since she likes the ones here? Would she like that or to play with her colouring pad? Her DD then feels in control and responds well to this
My 3 DC were nightmares in comparison. My house constantly a mess still and they're 2,7 and 8.
I ask them to do stuff all the time and it's never done. I don't even have an ironing pile. My wash pile is high enough as it is without any additional piles!
Their uniforms have a quick sharpie on them that just about makes out their names. They look bloody scruffy a lot of the time. Their beds aren't made like her DCs. I don't have a 'special' bubble bath they use, I just slap any old thing in. They don't smell beautiful and have special moisturisers. My house is always a mess in some way, never clean really, just about her away with it
I'm never on time for child's activities. Meanwhile my friend juggled her special needs child and her DD's swim and baby dancing class. And her DS swims
Honestly, what's her secret. Everything is so well done and put together
She is a WONDERFUL friend. No judgement. So kind and really listens to me. This isn't a thread to slay her off
I just wonder how I'm such a creature of things better left unsaid whilst she achieves all this
Did I mention her disabled child is awake from 4am? And her H isn't helpful with that so she does it all too? Argh.
post edited by MNHQ to remove potentially identifying details.
AIBU?
To wonder how my friend is so wonderfully organised and put together!
iamspt · 06/08/2022 14:05
Topgub · 06/08/2022 15:03
I dont find any of that aspirational or anything to be jealous of. Especially not the dickhead dh
Why do we always judge women on how they, their children and their homes look?
No thanks.
Desmondo2021 · 06/08/2022 14:14
I think I'm probably in your friend's category to be honest. It's truly just a case of being organised, motivated and disciplined.
aloris · 06/08/2022 16:15
People are just different. I think some of it is natural talent. Maybe your friend is just very good at multitasking. That is a skill that, in part, can be learned, but it also depends on having the sort of brain that can keep track of two things at the same time. But there are other aspects too.
The other thing you have to keep in mind with your friend is that having a child with a disability might have changed her house priorities. For example, if I had a child with mobility issues, then decluttering my house would be a higher priority because having a lot of clutter around would be a problem for him. As it is, my children do not have mobility issues so it's just a different situation. Clutter is an annoyance rather than a health risk.
Having an unhelpful husband is not always a detriment, it depends on how well you work together. If he stays out of her way and does not interfere with the way she organises her home, then it may actually be LESS work than having a husband who "helps" but whose approach conflicts with hers.
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secular39 · 06/08/2022 15:29
Reading the post had made me stop scrolling on Mumsnet and clean my living room.
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