To wonder how my friend is so wonderfully organised and put together!

[iamspt]

My friend, a new friend, makes me feel a bit scummy! Maybe scummy is too strong a word, but I feel very messy in comparison

She has a disabled DS and a toddler DD.

House smells and looks clean. Not artificial clean. It just smells fresh and crisp.

Kids bedrooms spotless.

She irons everything of the DC. She said she sets aside time once a week and does it watching something good

Her car is clean. Despite kids. Smells wonderful. Her DS has high care needs. She kindly gave me a lift recently. He was hysterical and she gave him some crisps. We got back. He was playing with blocks in the garden. She told toddler she would be 5 minutes and asked her toddler to think of 5 things beginning with P, something like that. In that time she whipped her hoover out, hoovered up all the he had made with the crisps and gave it all a quick go over with some spray and a cloth

Kids have their pjs laid out whilst getting ready for bath. Their beds are immaculately made. Clothes all put away neatly and ironed.

She has all their bags packed and sorted the night before (her DD goes to nursery one day a week). All her son's clothes are labelled with this cute little ink thing that says his name with a little symbol of a bear next to it

Her children are always so clean and fresh. When they get out of the bath they're moisturised with something she's used since they were little babies. Perfectly turned out even for bed! Her DD is SO good! And she's 2.5! A really hard age. She doesn't ask for anything, if she gets upset my friend explains why she can't do or have it, then proceeds to make her daughter feel as if she's in control for example by asking if she wants to play with her bricks when she's home? Since she likes the ones here? Would she like that or to play with her colouring pad? Her DD then feels in control and responds well to this

My 3 DC were nightmares in comparison. My house constantly a mess still and they're 2,7 and 8.

I ask them to do stuff all the time and it's never done. I don't even have an ironing pile. My wash pile is high enough as it is without any additional piles!

Their uniforms have a quick sharpie on them that just about makes out their names. They look bloody scruffy a lot of the time. Their beds aren't made like her DCs. I don't have a 'special' bubble bath they use, I just slap any old thing in. They don't smell beautiful and have special moisturisers. My house is always a mess in some way, never clean really, just about her away with it

I'm never on time for child's activities. Meanwhile my friend juggled her special needs child and her DD's swim and baby dancing class. And her DS swims

Honestly, what's her secret. Everything is so well done and put together

She is a WONDERFUL friend. No judgement. So kind and really listens to me. This isn't a thread to slay her off

I just wonder how I'm such a creature of things better left unsaid whilst she achieves all this

Did I mention her disabled child is awake from 4am? And her H isn't helpful with that so she does it all too? Argh.

post edited by MNHQ to remove potentially identifying details.

[ilovechocolate07]

Your friend has created a well oiled machine out of necessity. She doesn't have time or the chance to drop the ball. When mine were young I was on my own most of the time and I had to have everything running smoothly or I paid for it later. Also, a bit of ocd crept in as I didn't feel like a good enough mum if my cherubs weren't fed wholesom meals, had great activities or the skirting boards had dust on them. Not healthy. There's a real thing that creates great adults and it's called 'good enough' parenting. I wish I'd know about it sooner.

[IsSpringSprangedYet]

I have a friend who is a little similar to yours.

If I envy anything, it's her "that's what I want to start doing, so I'll get cracking" attitude. I have so much I want to get started with and it always seems to end up on the back-burner somehow. I've struggled with foot troubles for years, whereas she started pilates pretty soon to help with posture/back pain. She just gets on with it.

Envy probably isn't the right word because I can do it if I put my mind to it, and i have more children. It's just something I admire about her.

[Kanaloa]

I know 😂 I was thinking of the Donahue family when I read the op. And Frankie complaining that if the Donahue kids fight they ‘hold family court and sentence them to 10-15 hugs.’

Although I find it very funny I’d hate to be like the Hecks. It’s played like a joke but their life is a nightmare.

[goldfinchonthelawn]

@Festoonlights

Making time to get things done properly means saying no sometimes to other peoples stuff. I always question what it’s going to cost in terms of remaining relaxed, not rushed and stressed - the impact on my own routines and life, and decide if it’s worth it or not. We can’t do it all.

It took me until I was 50 years old to work this out. It is so true.

[Bleachmycloths]

Don’t worry too much. It took me years to get organised. If you feel bad about it perhaps you could write down 2 or 3 of the things that really bother you and focus on improving those. Eg wash and iron your children’s clothes and set aside every evening. Make their beds every morning. Your children will feel better and so will you.
it’s not easy! Good luck!

[JustbemoreMargo]

Your friend sounds like she is brilliantly organised, with good routines - I am in awe! Like you OP, I also wish I could be rather more organised in this way.

There are some great tips on here too which I will try. A common theme from the organised posters seems to be that they just get on and DO when something needs to be sorted, and I suspect that is the crux of why some of us (me!) find that tasks pile up at times - procrastination, waiting for a 'better time', then getting distracted etc.

Someone earlier mentioned they had a 'one touch rule' tidying their house which sounded very helpful. Looking forward to reading more tips!

[PenelopeGarseeya]

Oh dear. This
thread started off really well. Too much effort to weedle out the dross now. The bickering is pointless

[Olsi109]

Some people just are. I'm like your friend I guess (apart from the kids spotless bedrooms because the older two are teens and are responsible for tidying (I clean if they tidy but they never do so they clean it too) they used to be spotless when younger and my responsibility). My LO things are organised, tidy etc as she's only a baby so my responsibility. The Hoover thing, I would say to older DD please wait in the car while I run in for the Hoover, Hoover whilst baby in car seat and then take them all in. I manage lots of clubs too, work, don't have a cleaner, but I just get on with things, only sit down to look at my phone once kids in bed really, I organise the night before for school, work and nursery, plan my hair washing etc. to some it's a priority and comes naturally, to others it doesn't and that's not an issue, personal choice. For me I would be a majorly stressed out person if my life and home wasn't organised and was instead chaotic.

[Benjispruce4]

I think you pay far too much attention to her life. That’s where your time is going! 😁

[VioletInsolence]

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I reckon the key to it is that she has really good quality sleep and a bed that is perfectly comfortable.

If she gets between 4.5 - 6.0 hours (if not more) of solid, uninterrupted sleep every night, she's getting enough for the health of her mind and body, particularly if she falls into deep sleep very quickly.

As a result, if she wakes up feeling refreshed, not hurting from lumps and bumps in a crappy mattress and scratchy, itchy bedlinen, she's able to get up and on with her day, getting things done as she sees they need doing, planning, preparing and responding appropriately, and then, because she's planned for routine, contingencies (such as a child not being compliant or a sudden cleanup job) and is all sorted for the morning, she then gets another few hours of true rest for the next day.

Crikey I’d be dead if I got 4.5 - 6 hours sleep a night!

[Ariela]

I get you OP.
I have a friend withtwice the number of kids I have - and yet she found time to chair the NCT and be chair of the school PTA, immaculate house/kids/car the lot. And also very very nice.

[IrisVersicolor]

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I reckon the key to it is that she has really good quality sleep and a bed that is perfectly comfortable.

If she gets between 4.5 - 6.0 hours (if not more) of solid, uninterrupted sleep every night, she's getting enough for the health of her mind and body, particularly if she falls into deep sleep very quickly.

As a result, if she wakes up feeling refreshed, not hurting from lumps and bumps in a crappy mattress and scratchy, itchy bedlinen, she's able to get up and on with her day, getting things done as she sees they need doing, planning, preparing and responding appropriately, and then, because she's planned for routine, contingencies (such as a child not being compliant or a sudden cleanup job) and is all sorted for the morning, she then gets another few hours of true rest for the next day.

She’s organised because she has a comfortable mattress?

You know can you get mattresses on Freecycle? I just gave a really comfy one away.

[hothotsumm]

I want to be like your friend. This has inspired me to try a little harder.

I don't ever get to sit down as it is.

[NeverDropYourMooncup]

@IrisVersicolor

She’s organised because she has a comfortable mattress?

You know can you get mattresses on Freecycle? I just gave a really comfy one away.

Because she gets good quality sleep? That makes a huge amount of difference, from feeling sick, dizzy, fuzzyheaded and in pain to alert, rested and able to think straight to many people. And can be as a result of having a comfortable sleeping space. I can't be the only person who is barely capable of functioning as a human being after under 2 hours of exhausted unconsciousness out of six hours of lumps, bumps, springs and hip pain.


Not entirely sure where freecycle comes into my thought on how decent sleep makes people more able to cope with their day to day life. But maybe you've given somebody else that same chance to wake up with greater energy and capability for executive functions.

[HintofVintagePink]

Is this just a very clever viral marketing campaign for clothes stamping? Even the OP’s name is an anagram of istamp…

[goldfinchonthelawn]

@HintofVintagePink

Is this just a very clever viral marketing campaign for clothes stamping? Even the OP’s name is an anagram of istamp…

Hah! If it is, it was too clever for me. I was much mor einterested in how she kept her house tidy, Nothing wrong with Sharpie name writtenover the laundry labels.

[newnamenellie]

I’m a nursery teacher.

The PP who raised the point about how children are dressed/safeguarding is correct.

I’ll tell you how we look at it if that helps. Ideally, children will come to pre school wearing clothes that are suitable for playing in/getting dirty and stained. This usually means something comfortable and easily washable. There’s a difference between coming in like this and coming in already dirty and stained - that would raise a safeguarding concern. Similarly, a child arriving in ill fitting clothes (especially shoes) would also raise a concern as would a child turning up in clothes that are not weather appropriate (e.g. sundress in winter, no coat when raining etc…). If that happened repeatedly, we would flag it.
Children arriving dressed eccentrically is, of course, fine and down to personal taste of parent and child.
HTH

[LovelyIssues]

You say she doesn't work so that's the first thing, her only job is looking after DC and the home. Probably doesn't procrastinate, probably doesn't sit and watch TV much etc...

[Xmasbaby11]

Yes, your friend is amazing. She really is!

I do think a lot is your natural inclination so it's not a massive effort to do certain things. I am not like your friend but I am known for being organised at home and at work and there are some things I do, such as

Meal plan, batch cook, freeze stuff
Label all kids' stuff
Plan ahead with birthdays; never forget to send a present/card
get family photos organised and printed out

None of these are 'tips' that I tried to do, just things that I have always done naturally, therefore there's no mental effort as it's on my mind anyway. I keep a diary but generally have a good memory for plans so I know what we're doing all the time. Same with lists - I do write them, but they are just a back up as I generally know what needs to be done.

However, I am much less good at housework and gardening! I have a friend who's always popping into the garden to water it / trim dead bits. For me, this would not occur to me, this is something that has to be on a list and for some reason I hate doing it!

Most of us are good at some bits of adulting at not at others - some are great at more, some struggle.

[sunglassesonthetable]

Most of us are good at some bits of adulting at not at others - some are great at more, some struggle.

So true.

I have my strengths. Always have clean windows and clear kitchen counters. Meal plan. We eat well. Not ever late. Quite pulled together in my appearance.

Shit at clothes putting away. Tidy bedrooms. Remembering birthdays. Car interior is a disgrace.

Don't iron. Or aspire to iron. Except do love ironed sheets sadly but it doesn't happen. And will iron something for an occasion. Love the look of a freshly ironed person but cba for my life except in a mad dash.

Always interested to hear how others get shit done.

I have friends how seem to get a lot of stuff done and friends who live in a complete shit pit. They all have their strengths though. even if it's just being great company. I couldn't care less about the rest.

[UWhatNow]

Jeez so much Hinch angst on this thread - sooo depressing. Are we still living in the 1950s? Is this really what women aspire to? I can’t imagine a single man who would add to this thread with the same religious fervour to be the world’s most ‘organised’ multitasking perfect housewife.

[NippyWoowoo]

@UWhatNow

Jeez so much Hinch angst on this thread - sooo depressing. Are we still living in the 1950s? Is this really what women aspire to? I can’t imagine a single man who would add to this thread with the same religious fervour to be the world’s most ‘organised’ multitasking perfect housewife.

Someone will be along to tell you that their husband absolutely does talk about the best way to scrub the toilet with his friends.

Someone else will tell you that cleaning just makes them happy and seeing a child in ironed pyjamas brings them joy.

Many more will tell you that they are just naturally more organised than their husbands which is why they are the ones who do it all.

Every once in a while there's a thread along a similar theme, and the responses are all the same.

[sunglassesonthetable]

Jeez so much Hinch angst on this thread - sooo depressing. Are we still living in the 1950s? Is this really what women aspire to? I can’t imagine a single man who would add to this thread with the same religious fervour to be the world’s most ‘organised’ multitasking perfect housewife.

Nah. No angst whatsoever @UWhatNow
Don't feel 'religious' about it. And I don't give a shit what ' a man would do' Who cares?

I don't give a shit about being 'the world's most organised multitasking perfect housewife' .Jeez what absolute bollocks. Can't get over people getting so angsty about just talking about this stuff.

Get over it. I'm happy to own my interest. And I don't feel diminished by it.

Would you be accusing me of something if I was discussing my career. " the world's most. organised multitasking working person" God would you ever say that to someone?

[sunglassesonthetable]

Every once in a while there's a thread along a similar theme, and the responses are all the same.

Yep and you're part of that. Classic.

[sunglassesonthetable]

Jeez so much Hinch angst on this thread - sooo depressing. Are we still living in the 1950s?

FFS "soooo depressing" You're depressed by this???

IGod