I don't like hugging outside of my immediate family and in certain circumstances like grief. It feels forced and unnatural to me.
So why do I end up having to give out hugs like they are candy? People I don't know well, forcing themselves into my personal space and trying to create an intimacy that isn't there?
Can't the huggers ask consent?
Do people actually like hugging or do most people just do it because it is expected? I think it's a female socialisation thing and we should cut that crap, DH doesn't get strong armed into forced hugs nearly as much as me.
Yabu- hugging is great and everyone should do it.
Yanbu- everyone should cut it out and I only hug because it's expected.
And no, I do not need a hug.
AIBU?
Why do the huggers always win?
GetYourSeasideArmsOffMe · 06/08/2022 04:02
Am I being unreasonable?
738 votes. Final results.
POLLGetYourSeasideArmsOffMe · 06/08/2022 04:36
I suppose it pisses me off that they force that awkwardness of me saying no.
Huggers should be able to read the signs. I send out clear non verbal don't hug me signs, but they still launch themselves at me after receiving those signs. That puts the awkwardness on me and means I have to make a big deal out of not wanting a hug. And people who don't like hugging often have high anxiety about social stuff and getting things wrong.
As the huggers are claiming this position of greater social confidence I think it's up to them to lead the way and listen to signs.
Its a bit at odds with our other rules of consent. And twice in my life a hug has been used as the gateway to touch me inappropriately where if I reported it to the police it would be a crime.
5zeds · 06/08/2022 05:37
To be fair, I'm not very assertive and know this is a flaw and this did lead to me being taken advantage of by a man. no what lead to you being assaulted was not something you did it’s was something someone did to you. You are not responsible for being assaulted by a predator I think you possibly are minimising their aggression by taking on some of the responsibility. You are allowed not to want to be pressed against anyone else’s body. You don’t need a reason beyond not wanting to. I’m sorry you’ve run into so many jerks.
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