... wondering about the worst thing done to you by a so called "friend" *Content warning added by MNHQ - just flagging that some of these are quite upsetting*

[PieRSquared]

Waiting in the airport to collect my DD from her flight (seriously delayed!) at the end of a great trip she's had travelling abroad with a close friend of hers.

It brings up some very unpleasant memories for me. The plan was to travel for a few weeks in south east asia with my long term best friend, first time I'd ever travelled there. On the 3rd day of our trip she met someone "special" and went travelling with him instead!! It really caused me a huge amount of trouble and stress, traveling alone there was not easy, a few bad incidents, trying to make some other friends along the way. It was also a bit more expensive not sharing a room, and deciding on some safer/more expensive locations.

We're not in contact any more, but I'm feeling angry and agitated as I write this, and think about it again. No more coffee for me!

Any other bad things done by friends were relatively minor for me thankfully.

Told the whole year group (10 or 11 I can’t remember now) that I was a lesbian and came onto her. Neither part was true and I literally got bullied and ignored from that moment on. Graffiti in toilets about me the whole lot. No one would get changed in front of me for PE so I started bunking off of it, thankfully wasn’t asked for a note ever. I can honestly say it was the worst time of my life

Several

-BF for 15 odd years and lived together in our 20s. One day came home to find she'd moved all her stuff out and left me a two line note saying not to contact her again. Then told all our mutual friends I was an abusive bully who had mentally abused her for years. I wrote to her, emailed her, tried calling and to this day have never got to the bottom of it. We were like sisters and I KNOW I was a supportive friend who did nothing but tell her how wonderful she was

-Secondary school disco. I had two friends who were sisters. In hindsight they did tease me a lot as I was quite naïve. They suggested we do our make up together. I had never worn make up and was happy to have some help. I played around with what they had an picked up what I thought was lipstick but was spot concealer. Smothered my lips and commented it was a weird colour. They insisted it looked great and did the rest of my make up. I turned up to the disco looking like something out of a nightmare! Purple eyeshadow and this horrible concealer caked on my lips. They thought it was hilarious. Never spoke to either of them again and got bullied for years by everyone as a result of that night

Friend's mum, because she would have only been around 11 at the time.

Agreed to feed and water our cats for 10 days while we were on holiday. Came over to get the keys, be shown the food bowls and everything.

They didn't come once. Said they forgot. Our cats were starving and had survived by drinking out of the toilet.

A ‘friend’ of mine tells the same story again and again that make it look like I slept with hundreds of blokes at university. The story is simply not true. I’ve called her out about it in front of other people but she insists I’m lying and she is telling the truth and everyone else laughs about it. I would ditch her completely but we have lots of mutual friends in common (who were my friends first, I brought her to the friendship group!).

This is so appalling. Why on earth would somebody do this?

As someone mentioned earlier, it is normal for friendships to come and go as people and circumstances change. However, it's does sting when a person does something so out of character that it really hurts you. I'd also acknowledge I've some responsibility, in that I might have been encouraged to do some things, but it was my decision to act on it.

In the old MySpace days a close friend in a college house share post some pictures of my bedroom and "asked for comments". She did it was a joke, and while the pictures could not identify a person, there was personal stuff I was worried about (a 1/2 smoked joint, a vibrator, over flowing laundry basket). While it's all fairly normal stuff for a student room, if you zoomed in at a certain point you could see my unique guitar strap that many of my friends would have known. It did upset me at the time.

I was sharing a flat with a close friend. The time came for us to go our separate ways as she got a job in another city and I was buying somewhere. It was her leaving do and we’d both taken the following week off work to clean and gradually move stuff out. At the end of the night I suggested we get a cab back to the flat when she admitted that she wasn’t coming back as she’d already packed her stuff and was driving off to the new city that night. I went home to find all her stuff gone plus all the cleaning stuff and the hoover. Her room and en-suite were filthy and we lost our deposit as I couldn’t clean the carpets!

Same house share "friend" regularly hit on people I dated in college. She was really good looking, and thought she could get any guy she wanted (and generally did!)

I honestly have no idea. It makes me feel sick even remembering it now. She was my best friend, we had gone on holiday together and everything.

After 15 years of close friendship gradually became less supportive, more denigratory, always putting me down. DH saw it a long time before I did (eg when we bought our house, she came round for the first time and almost the first words she said were, “well, I do think my brother’s new house is quite the nicest house I’ve ever seen.” Didn’t say a word about ours).

This coincided with her gradually becoming CF about never paying. There had always been an income disparity and we’d dealt with that by going to places that were affordable to us both. I’d always however been keen to treat her sometimes (she was my best friend after all) and would on occasion pick up the tab for cocktails or whatever. Gradually it became an expectation that I’d pay, and that I’d pay for dinner as well, with no offer ever made. I found out later from a mutual acquaintance that she had been saying that “everyone needs a rich friend.”

The culmination of a year or so of this was that she went abroad for several weeks for a big project. She was leader and very nervous, and I spent hours while she was out there emailing, texting and on the phone. She knew I was starting IVF while she was away. Didn’t mention it once. When she got back she waved her hand and said vaguely “oh did you take the thing on the day?” (meaning the hormone shots). She knew full well because her SIL had done IVF that it wasn’t one fucking injection.

After that I am afraid I ghosted her. I got a text from her and I thought, you know what, I do not actually want to spend time with you ever again. It’s the only time I’ve ever done it. I couldn’t face having it out with her and hearing the self-justification. Once she was gone I realised how negative an influence she’d been for a good while.

I messaged her to tell her I'd miscarried for the second time (I had no living children, she had one child).
She chose that time to tell me she was pregnant, and when I told her she was a little insensitive to my feelings, she told me I was horrible for not sharing in her joy and said she hopes my next pregnancy ends the same way.
She's no friend to me anymore (not that she ever really was), and that next baby is now an amazingly healthy pre teen who enjoys gaming and driving me crazy ❤

Quite tame in comparison to everyone else's but I told a new friend in the first weeks of university that I quite fancied someone. She gave me an odd look then spent the rest of the night coming on to him, and eventually got off with him. I pretended next morning that he wasn't the one I'd meant, and she was quite deflated. I never trusted her around anyone I was even remotely attracted to again.

Invited me to sleep over and had arranged everything.

Got to her house and had a lovely evening, then her dad came home and it was clear she hadn't asked him if I could sleep over, he had no idea and she didn't even ask him if I could stay. Just said oh Allenstein will be off in a bit just watching a film.

She then gaslight the entire situation and pretended as if I was always going home at the end of the night even to me(despite turning up with an overnight bag and pillow!)

I was shown the door at 01:00 and had to walk 3 miles in the dark, alone, as a 17 year old to town to get a bus back to where I lived

I called my dad who was furious, he doesn't drive so had to meet me in my hometown off the bus, but I still had to walk a lot on my own, through areas with no street lighting, on a Friday evening so loads of drunk people staggering about falling out of bars etc.

Felt so unsafe, didn't speak to her again. But my dad did meet me off the bus with a McDonald's and a big hug so ended alright!

I find it strange as her dad seemed quite nice so didn't understand why she didn't at least ask if I could stay when he came home but alas.

Pie did you ever again speak to the friend that abandoned you travelling? How did she think it was okay to do that? Hope she had a shit holiday! Hope you managed to enjoy some of yours despite the darker experiences.

20 years later and this still stings - @ChiefWiggumsBoy i really feel your pain!

Having been urgently taken into care, I was moved to a hostel at 17, developed glandular fever and was hospitalised for a week. Nobody from my close friendship group came to see me or even texted me. When I got back to the hostel, I texted them (3 of them) once but my pride wouldn’t let me chase them when they didn’t respond.

first day back at school a couple of weeks later, feeling ridiculously weak, I was hauled into the HoY’s office (god knows what she was thinking) where the 3 of them were waiting for me. One of them (the newest one) had spent that month making up the most vicious lies about me and all 3 laid into me. Have never felt more blindsided or betrayed - I walked out the door and avoided all of them from that day on.

it took my oldest and closest friend a year before she apologised to me, but if I’m honest, I’ve never forgiven any of them. The pack mentality of those teenage girls still makes me feel sick when I think about it and I’ve never formed a friendship group again (just 1-2-1 friendships).

I've been that person - the one getting off with people my friends fancied. I still don't understand why I did it. I'm sorry I did, not least because I am not even straight.

At uni - one full of sloanes - the friends I had made in the first year came around as a group of four to tell me they didn't want me to be in their house share the following year. I was devastated, as I had not got a back-up plan. Looking back on it now, I realise they had figured out that I was just not posh enough for their social set. I was taught a very hard lesson about class in that moment.

Somebody accused me of things I had never said nor done at school, and when I denied it all, they said "well why did [my then-best friend] tell me all that then?" I texted my friend asking about it as I assumed the accuser had just cooked it all up to make trouble, but my friend never responded so I went and knocked on her door to ask her about it. She answered and acted completely shocked. Went to school the next day with her and I said I was going to confront the person who had made the accusations, and I did, then this 'friend' broke down crying and admitted to making it all up! I naively forgave her, but apparently that wasn't enough as she went on to tell everyone I had threatened/attempted (story kept changing) to physically attack her! Everyone thought I was odd at school anyway so sided with her and no one would speak to me for the rest of school, or if they did then it would be to make snide remarks and bully me. I used to feel sick every morning on the way there and stopped going to certain lessons. Teachers didn't want to know. Sometimes I miss my school days but then remember all that and think... err... no!

You sure it wasn't just because they didn't want you making off with their boyfriends over the breakfast table?

I got completely ghosted by a friend once. I bought her a huge bouquet of flowers for her 40th and she refused to answer the door to me when I knocked. I thought it was odd but I left the flowers on the doorstep.

I never got a thank you and I’ve never heard from her since. I racked my brains as to why I was ghosted wondering if I had done something wrong or offended her in anyway but I was stumped.

Two weeks before the ghosting she told me she had once had a wild sex fuelled weekend in a hotel with a work client. I was a bit shocked as she had been with her husband forever and they had kids etc. I gathered the reason for the ghosting was she got cold feet about telling me that piece of information so it was best if she never spoke to me ever again.

I only started doing that after they dumped me, but it's a fair question.

At Secondary School, there was a group of us who were friends. We'd all sit together, go out at weekends, I felt really close to them all.
Came to us getting our leavers book signed, and 2 of the group basically wrote 10 pages worth of how they were never my friends, and they'd basically pretended to be my friend so they could take the piss out of me privately. They even wrote something along the lines of 'you're reading this right now, thinking you'll read in a second that we're joking, but we mean every word of it.'
As someone who was bullied badly in school, this really affected me for years....

I had a friends since I was at primary school. We lived in the same street. When I was in my early twenties we went abroad for two weeks. On the first night she met a guy and then for the rest of the holiday she left me on my own to be with this guy. I made friends in the hotel we were staying so was lucky I could go out with them.
We continued our friendship but I did end it after other things happened. Haven't seen her for over 15 years and haven't looked back. I have lovely friends in my life who are genuine. Not sure why I kept the friendship going. Maybe because we were friends since children.

After I’d had a radical hysterectomy after years of infertility and Ivfs etc I was out for the first time post surgery still feeling really shitty and shaky on my feet. Bumped into my best friend and said I was just heading home and would she like to pop in for a coffee…. She said no,she had to run as one of her work friends had just had a baby and she wanted to call into see her in hospital…. I just thought it was really insensitive to detail the reason, surely under the circumstances a sorry not at the minute maybe later or another ther day would have suffice. Might be an over reaction but I’ve not contacted her since, it really cut to the bone

When I was at university my mum (my sole parent) was diagnosed with cancer. I was living in a house share at the time with a friend but had to move home to nurse my mum. I found a replacement to take on the rent but some bills were still in my name.
When the bills came she refused to pay them and said that she didn’t believe the cost I was telling her!! I was 19 with no income, nursing my mum through chemo and I could not understand her behaviour at all. I was so shocked she could be so uncaring and inconsiderate. In the end I sent her dad the bill as proof and he paid it - I never got an apology or saw her ever again. I think she was a spoiled brat who was incapable of caring about anyone but herself and she was annoyed I’d moved out!

Someone i thought was a friend at school actually was the biggest bully going

they reverse called my house all the time claiming to be a boy i liked

I gave her money to buy concert tickets for me, my sister and cousin, ( i was on holiday) she got my sister and cousin back row tickets and me her and a couple of other friends the front row ones because apparantly they deserved them more because they went with her to get them. I didnt go at all after that.

stopped wanting to know me when she got a boyfriend

asked me what we were doing new years eve the day before after shed ignored me for months and got the arse because i was spending it with another friend she didnt like.

posted nasty things about me online, then slapped me in town when she saw me. Really horrible person, and i wasnt the only one she treated shockingly. She was a bitch to so many other girls too, always with the mind games and hitting people. I wish id seen it sooner than i did