... wondering about the worst thing done to you by a so called "friend" *Content warning added by MNHQ - just flagging that some of these are quite upsetting*

[PieRSquared]

Waiting in the airport to collect my DD from her flight (seriously delayed!) at the end of a great trip she's had travelling abroad with a close friend of hers.

It brings up some very unpleasant memories for me. The plan was to travel for a few weeks in south east asia with my long term best friend, first time I'd ever travelled there. On the 3rd day of our trip she met someone "special" and went travelling with him instead!! It really caused me a huge amount of trouble and stress, traveling alone there was not easy, a few bad incidents, trying to make some other friends along the way. It was also a bit more expensive not sharing a room, and deciding on some safer/more expensive locations.

We're not in contact any more, but I'm feeling angry and agitated as I write this, and think about it again. No more coffee for me!

Any other bad things done by friends were relatively minor for me thankfully.

A friend I had who I had met through a mother and baby group faked a pregnancy to me! We were quite close and did lots together with our children so of course at the start I fell for it completely as I had no reason not to believe her. I gave her loads of support as the baby was apparently going to have lots of medical problems and not live for long time now born.
She kept it going right up until the day she was due to give birth by which time I was very suspicious. I called her out on it and she denied it all but I had done a lot of detective work and knew it was all a lie. Discovered a few years later that she had done it a few times before to other people.

I was a divorced mum of two, shit low-paying job. A mum friend who I believed I was close to said we should start a business together. I was going to be the main staff and ideas and day to day and she was going to write up the business plan and deal w tax and the paperwork around setting up. I felt like this was an absolute lifeline. No more work boredom, no more being sneered at by the work bitches, maybe a bit more income, work I’d love. We spend almost a year looking at premises and working out the details.

One day I open Facebook and find she’s suddenly taken my idea and opened the business w her husband. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I lost a friend and hope for the future all in one moment. I’ve never spent time with her again.

Her husband can be rude and lazy and their business failed within a year. I hope she lost money on it.

When I was 18 I went I went for a night out with friend who lived in a different city, she got really drunk and left the club with a with a guy and didn’t come back. I was alone in a city I didn’t know, where I don’t know anyone. I didn’t even know her address to get a taxi to her flat. It was one the worst nights of my life wandering the streets of a strange city until 3am when I asked a random guy if I could put my SIM card in his phone (yes it was in the olden days 🤣) so I could try and phone her as my battery had gone flat. I ended up telling him what had happened and he said I could come and sleep at his and I didn’t really feel like I had much choice as it was either that or wander the streets all night. He lived in a flat share and let me sleep in his bed while he slept in the floor and I lay in bed fully clothed absolutely rigid with fear all night, to his credit he stayed on the floor and as soon as it got light I thanked him and left to catch a bus back into town.

After I finally got in contact with my ‘friend’ she didn’t really see the issue with what she’d done. Whenever something bad has happened to me since then I always think ‘we’ll at least it’s not as bad as THAT night’ so I suppose at least it’s given me a bench mark to compare other bad experiences to.

What did you say to her when you found out? And what did she say?

Oh wow, I feel like I had the same best friend a few years before. My ‘best friend’ did the exact same except we were 16 and at school.

It was quite nice of that guy though <misses point of story> did you thank him afterwards?

A girl who bullied me at school when I was 13, served me in m&s the other day. I specifically remember her making a bee line for me with her friend, when no one was looking, and pressing her hockey stick up against my neck on the playing field and telling me she hated me, and I'd better watch it. I was tiny and only about 4 foot 11 so was terrified. She was insistent on smiling at me and making eye contact to see my reaction, so obviously she hadn't forgotten either, and seemed to have a conscience.

Oh love, you and me both!

1. Best friend from school (absolutely inseparable) sided with another friend who took offence at me getting a boyfriend. The fact that she didn't have my back completely broke me.

1. Toxic group of adult women who slowly froze me out after one of them told a blatant lie about my daughter and then me. Worst thing about that is that one of them I had known since primary and reconnected with as adults. I thought she knew me better but no.

Fuck me, I'm middle aged but they still hurt. I'm at that stage in life where friends are nice, but only a bonus as far as I'm concerned. My family is my main focus.

Not me but my darling little girl who was 10 yrs old...She ,my dd had never had a best friend and said she would love to have a best friend one day,She met a girl,same age as her at Girl Guides,They fast became best friends,super close,I took the child with us for days out ,treats,meals she had sleep overs then the girl s family moved the girl to my dds school.OMG my dd was so excited,she promised to show her round,stay with her,introduce her to her friends so the new girl could be accepted and make the transition easy for her.All was going well.I became firm friends with her mum too so win win all round.Until after a sleep over here my dd was in tears when her friend had gone home, I was bewildered by all this and the girl had said to my dd and please bear in mind this is a 10 yr old,that she willl be friends with my dd outside school but would not talk or be her friend anymore to her in school anymore because she my dd wasnt as popular as she was so she was dumped in school yet she would still come to starbucks with us as her mum wouldnt take her. My dd was confused ,hurt and really put about by this, I spoke to the girls mum and she said well if she said it thats how it is then I will not interveine but can you baby sit her while i have my hair done on tuesday but dont tell anyone....my answer wasnt very nice on behalf of me or her rotten daughter. I hope that kid grows out of her awful behaviour and her mum learns how to parent but they are so far off our radar now fuck em!

Some awful stories about ex BF’s here 😣

I spent 4 years confiding in my BF, of over 30 years, about physical and mental abuse I was receiving at the hands of my DH. It became apparent that he was cheating throughout my 10 year marriage. I was very grateful I had someone to listen and provide emotional support.

I plucked up courage to take my DC and leave him, exactly how me and DF had planned. Only to discover she was best mates with the woman DH was having an affair with (and quickly moved in with).

Ex DF taught me nobody can be trusted.

Not a friend but a coworker. The two of us made up our department. We weren't besties but we got in fine; decent banter and gossiping. Pretty soon I noticed that coworker loved a good bitching session. She was also very bully-ish and confrontational - she had had screaming matches more than once in our office with more than one person. I did my share of bitching from time to time, but for the most part was just a listening ear to the "senior" that I worked with. You couldn't disagree with her on anything, because she knew everything that had ever been known on every subject under the sun, and she was never wrong about anything, ever.

Anyway, one day she just... stopped talking to me. I have wracked my brain to try and think of something I might have said to offend her and came up with nothing. There was no verbal fight beforehand, which would have been in character. Just one day, she woke up and decided to give me the silent treatment.

Because we were in the same department, she was occasionally forced to speak to me about work. Anything she said was short and nasty, dripping with pure malice and condescension. There were many times I went to visit my then-boyfriend in the evenings and burst into tears when he asked me how I was. Going to work filled with dread because I was going to be treated like nothing, like a piece of shit on her shoes.

After 3 months of cold shoulder, she randomly started being pleasant again. I was just glad the period was over so I went on as before, but I've never forgotten or figured out why it happened. I've lost sleep over it.

My "best friend" of 10 years stole off me, made numerous false reports against me, went out of her way to sabotage my life in many ways. The last few years I was scared to cut ties (like an abusive relationship) in fear of what they'd do. Towards the end when they knew I was backing off they broke down and admitted it was jealousy. My life improved drastically when I cut all contact.

A ‘friend’ me how it must feel terrible to be static when we were going through three years of infertility and IVF cycles. And then went onto talk about how fulfilling her life was having three kids.

I’ve been let down by friends many, many times. This is probably why my two best friends are my lovely dogs! I just don’t trust people.

When younger I often arranged nights out with friends to find they didn’t turn up, there’s probably four instances when this happened. I was left waiting and they just didn’t arrive. Only once did an old friend recognise me standing there like a lemon and took me under her wing.

Has this ever happened to anyone else on a night out?

Yes @PolarBearsForever I think people are just really flaky. I’ve been stood up on my birthday quite a few times with friends. I was so glad to have DH and DS to spend my birthdays with as I got older as for the first time I had people I could actually rely on. I’ve never had friends I can truly rely on

Not me but when I was travelling home from Greece with my daughter there was a 19 year old crying in seat near me. Turns out she had gone away with her best friend. That friend invited someone else and they were horrid to her, vile and nasty. She had called her mum and her mum had booked her an early flight home. She had left that morning without telling "friends". I tried to offer her some comfort on the flight.
I often wonder if she was ok.

Shagged a stranger when i was sleeping in a bed with her (no condoms).

Booked a holiday with mutual friends and didnt tell me until it was time to go ( i would have wanted to come too) , begged me for a "loan" for spending money, which i gave, then spent all the above and rang me from the holiday beggimg for more money after a day of arriving..(which i atupidly gave) in Tenerife of all places, then conincidentaly forgot to answer her phone once back for months when i was asking for the loan money back but still posting pictures with othwr friends on nights out. 🙃

I. Am. A. Fool.

Went to best friends wedding who told me she wasn't having bridesmaids to find another friend was a ‘witness’ aka bridesmaid and at reception meal I was seated at furthest table away from bridal party and my chair was positioned as such that it meant I was facing a wall for the entire meal. No idea what I did to deserve it except being happy and having a child before any of my other friends. She became a bit strange towards me when I got pregnant.

I would've had to ask if I could have someone sleepover. Even at 18. It was my home but not my house in that I didn't pay the bills nor was responsible for the food etc. There were also other people in my family who had the right to a say over who was in their space. My parents were lovely and I've never had a no to a friend stay over but isnt it just polite to consider others in your family and the people who pay the bills?!

I had a friend like this. Absolute bestie but had kids and her whole identity became about having kids to the point she would slag off other people's perfectly normal parenting choices with passive aggressiveness and blamed other mums for being mean who distanced themselves. Was very much a husband can't babysit the kids for too long type but of her own doing. When I was having IVF she made some hugely insensitive comments to me. Wanted to talk to me about her wanting another but her husband not and how she had managed to convince him. Then when she knew I was having a rough time decided to announce her pregnancy to me by banging on about how she had persuaded him, was so sorry it probably would ruin my day (it wouldn't have had she not treated me as she did) and then went at lengths to go on about how she didn't know how they could afford it, how I'd be a much better mum than her and other hugely insensitive things. Our friends thought her behaviour was inappropriate and insensitive. I didnt even cut her off for this but the next time she was rude (regarding a group meet up) and made some horrible comments, I decided to go NC. When we were having the 'break up' texts she turned nasty, was very passive aggressive and I realised that while she had always made me feel during our friendship like she was a victim actually she was and always had been very passive aggressive. I'm sure she really believes that we are no longer friends because I couldn't handle her having kids but it genuinely was nothing to do with it. It was her behaviour. Even had I had children, I wouldve distanced myself had she made those comments to someone else in our group going through the same.

@summerpoolandsun; Sorry you can relate. It’s rubbish isn’t it, especially when I’ve looked around and seen good ‘friends’ meet up for an evening out. Like you, having my small family around makes up for the former crap I’ve been through with friends. I just can’t be arsed with anyone nowadays.

I don't do friends, haven't for years. Too much trouble / drama / whatever. I enjoy my own company.

That is fucking appalling. Those poor cats could've died. What an absolute c*nt.

My best friend basically ghosted me. We were really close before that, it was weird.

I'm almost gutted that I can't relate to any of these because I'm so naturally guarded I don't really do best friends.