... wondering about the worst thing done to you by a so called "friend" *Content warning added by MNHQ - just flagging that some of these are quite upsetting*

[PieRSquared]

Waiting in the airport to collect my DD from her flight (seriously delayed!) at the end of a great trip she's had travelling abroad with a close friend of hers.

It brings up some very unpleasant memories for me. The plan was to travel for a few weeks in south east asia with my long term best friend, first time I'd ever travelled there. On the 3rd day of our trip she met someone "special" and went travelling with him instead!! It really caused me a huge amount of trouble and stress, traveling alone there was not easy, a few bad incidents, trying to make some other friends along the way. It was also a bit more expensive not sharing a room, and deciding on some safer/more expensive locations.

We're not in contact any more, but I'm feeling angry and agitated as I write this, and think about it again. No more coffee for me!

Any other bad things done by friends were relatively minor for me thankfully.

My BF told so many lies to so many people over the years but it felt like I was the only one who could see it. We had been friends since school and I was used to her attention seeking - if I had a cold, she would have the flu etc but I had poor self esteem so I put up with her drama. We started families at the same time and our eldest DC were friends. We became pregnant at the same time with our second children but I miscarried. She referred to it every year on her DCs birthday, I wonder what yours would be like? I had dealt with my sadness but it felt like she was picking an open wound every time she did it and, despite me asking her not to mention it, she continued to do so every year knowing she was causing me pain. It was weird how often she had to put me down to make herself feel better. Eventually, after almost 25 years, I decided I’d had enough and just stopped contacting her. We didn’t speak for about a year or so and then she contacted me to say she had terminal cancer. I wanted to do right by her and not leave her in her time of need so allowed myself to become involved again but it turned out I was going to be used as a scapegoat for not being around enough, not caring enough etc, never to my face but told to other people. She passed away a while ago now and all I felt was relief although I feel thoroughly ashamed about feeling that way.

These two jump out in my memory

• assaulted me in a planned way with an audience

• in a calculated way, slept with the love of my life when we were about to get back together as a gesture of... I can have what you want whenever I like. We never spoke again

When I was 8 years old I became "best friends forever" with a same age girl who lived opposite. We were inseparable, local people used to call us The Siamese Twins, cos they never saw us apart. We were in the same class at the same school through junior school, then chose the same secondary school so we could be together, and when at age 13 I was forced to move schools, she moved, too, just to be with me. Unless we had other family commitments, we spent every evening and weekend and holiday together. All other friends were mere acquaintances compared with what we had together.

This friendship went on at this level till we were 16 when we chose different careers so were no longer together during the day. Also I got a boyfriend so my free time was split between being with her or being with him.

When I was 21 and she and I had been BFF for 13 years, my boyfriend told me that she had gone behind my back to contact him in secret and tried to get him to sleep with her. Obviously I confronted her and with him there also she could not deny it. I was devastated and removed her from my life.

Over 35 years later I had a nostalic reunion with a man who had been my boyfriend when I was aged 15 to 18. He asked me if I was still in touch with Janet (not her real name) and then told me that when she turned 16 she had contacted him secretly behind my back and asked him to take her viginity now she was legally old enough. He told me he had obliged. Several times in fact, to make sure it was properly taken.

He had told me he was out with his mates and she had told me she was visiting her grandparents, who lived nearby.

If you are reading this, my ex BFF, who now lives in Kent, you know who you are, and I know what you did!

I must be rubbish in bed because decades later it happened again.

When I was 37 I became best mates with a woman of 42 who had two grown up kids in their twenties. She and my boyfriend (of 1 years) sneaked off and had sex during my 40th birthday party. Next morning he rang me and told me he was going out with her now, instead of me.

To my amazement, she then rang and said she did not see why this should affect our friendship!

I told her never to rind me again and sobbed and sobbed for days.

Three months later she rang to say she was pregnant and he'd dumped her. Could we be friends again? Her children were appalled that she was going through with a pregnancy in middle age. She needed a friend. I told her no. She went on about forgiveness but the thing is, it wasn't a drunken one-off mistake, he had dumped me to be with her!

Six months later she wrote me a card with a photo of her baby. Could she bring her round and could we make up? I ignored it and never replied. The gall of her!

@imnotthatkindofmum it was years ago so I don’t recall specifics, but basically asked “what is going on?” and she said “oh, sorry, it all happened so fast I didn’t have time to tell you.” Absolute bullshit excuse. I felt so betrayed, just shocked really. It really broke my trust, one of a series of things to do that.

@TheLostNights

❤️💐xxxx