... wondering about the worst thing done to you by a so called "friend" *Content warning added by MNHQ - just flagging that some of these are quite upsetting*

[PieRSquared]

Waiting in the airport to collect my DD from her flight (seriously delayed!) at the end of a great trip she's had travelling abroad with a close friend of hers.

It brings up some very unpleasant memories for me. The plan was to travel for a few weeks in south east asia with my long term best friend, first time I'd ever travelled there. On the 3rd day of our trip she met someone "special" and went travelling with him instead!! It really caused me a huge amount of trouble and stress, traveling alone there was not easy, a few bad incidents, trying to make some other friends along the way. It was also a bit more expensive not sharing a room, and deciding on some safer/more expensive locations.

We're not in contact any more, but I'm feeling angry and agitated as I write this, and think about it again. No more coffee for me!

Any other bad things done by friends were relatively minor for me thankfully.

[Allthegoodnamesarechosen]

@TheLostNights

❤️💐xxxx

[Bonkersworknonsense]

@imnotthatkindofmum

What did you say to her when you found out? And what did she say?

@imnotthatkindofmum it was years ago so I don’t recall specifics, but basically asked “what is going on?” and she said “oh, sorry, it all happened so fast I didn’t have time to tell you.” Absolute bullshit excuse. I felt so betrayed, just shocked really. It really broke my trust, one of a series of things to do that.

[Ladyof2022]

I must be rubbish in bed because decades later it happened again.

When I was 37 I became best mates with a woman of 42 who had two grown up kids in their twenties. She and my boyfriend (of 1 years) sneaked off and had sex during my 40th birthday party. Next morning he rang me and told me he was going out with her now, instead of me.

To my amazement, she then rang and said she did not see why this should affect our friendship!

I told her never to rind me again and sobbed and sobbed for days.


Three months later she rang to say she was pregnant and he'd dumped her. Could we be friends again? Her children were appalled that she was going through with a pregnancy in middle age. She needed a friend. I told her no. She went on about forgiveness but the thing is, it wasn't a drunken one-off mistake, he had dumped me to be with her!

Six months later she wrote me a card with a photo of her baby. Could she bring her round and could we make up? I ignored it and never replied. The gall of her!

[Ladyof2022]

When I was 8 years old I became "best friends forever" with a same age girl who lived opposite. We were inseparable, local people used to call us The Siamese Twins, cos they never saw us apart. We were in the same class at the same school through junior school, then chose the same secondary school so we could be together, and when at age 13 I was forced to move schools, she moved, too, just to be with me. Unless we had other family commitments, we spent every evening and weekend and holiday together. All other friends were mere acquaintances compared with what we had together.

This friendship went on at this level till we were 16 when we chose different careers so were no longer together during the day. Also I got a boyfriend so my free time was split between being with her or being with him.

When I was 21 and she and I had been BFF for 13 years, my boyfriend told me that she had gone behind my back to contact him in secret and tried to get him to sleep with her. Obviously I confronted her and with him there also she could not deny it. I was devastated and removed her from my life.

Over 35 years later I had a nostalic reunion with a man who had been my boyfriend when I was aged 15 to 18. He asked me if I was still in touch with Janet (not her real name) and then told me that when she turned 16 she had contacted him secretly behind my back and asked him to take her viginity now she was legally old enough. He told me he had obliged. Several times in fact, to make sure it was properly taken.

He had told me he was out with his mates and she had told me she was visiting her grandparents, who lived nearby.

If you are reading this, my ex BFF, who now lives in Kent, you know who you are, and I know what you did!

[ConcordeOoter]

These two jump out in my memory

• assaulted me in a planned way with an audience

• in a calculated way, slept with the love of my life when we were about to get back together as a gesture of... I can have what you want whenever I like. We never spoke again

[Tamuchly]

My BF told so many lies to so many people over the years but it felt like I was the only one who could see it. We had been friends since school and I was used to her attention seeking - if I had a cold, she would have the flu etc but I had poor self esteem so I put up with her drama. We started families at the same time and our eldest DC were friends. We became pregnant at the same time with our second children but I miscarried. She referred to it every year on her DCs birthday, I wonder what yours would be like? I had dealt with my sadness but it felt like she was picking an open wound every time she did it and, despite me asking her not to mention it, she continued to do so every year knowing she was causing me pain. It was weird how often she had to put me down to make herself feel better. Eventually, after almost 25 years, I decided I’d had enough and just stopped contacting her. We didn’t speak for about a year or so and then she contacted me to say she had terminal cancer. I wanted to do right by her and not leave her in her time of need so allowed myself to become involved again but it turned out I was going to be used as a scapegoat for not being around enough, not caring enough etc, never to my face but told to other people. She passed away a while ago now and all I felt was relief although I feel thoroughly ashamed about feeling that way.

[ShakespearesBlister]

I'm almost gutted that I can't relate to any of these because I'm so naturally guarded I don't really do best friends.

[AllOfThemWitches]

My best friend basically ghosted me. We were really close before that, it was weird.

[Ludo19]

@georgarina

Friend's mum, because she would have only been around 11 at the time.

Agreed to feed and water our cats for 10 days while we were on holiday. Came over to get the keys, be shown the food bowls and everything.

They didn't come once. Said they forgot. Our cats were starving and had survived by drinking out of the toilet.

That is fucking appalling. Those poor cats could've died. What an absolute c*nt.

[mamabear715]

I don't do friends, haven't for years. Too much trouble / drama / whatever. I enjoy my own company.

[PolarBearsForever]

@summerpoolandsun; Sorry you can relate. It’s rubbish isn’t it, especially when I’ve looked around and seen good ‘friends’ meet up for an evening out. Like you, having my small family around makes up for the former crap I’ve been through with friends. I just can’t be arsed with anyone nowadays.

[Newmumatlast]

@summerpoolandsun

A ‘friend’ me how it must feel terrible to be static when we were going through three years of infertility and IVF cycles. And then went onto talk about how fulfilling her life was having three kids.

I had a friend like this. Absolute bestie but had kids and her whole identity became about having kids to the point she would slag off other people's perfectly normal parenting choices with passive aggressiveness and blamed other mums for being mean who distanced themselves. Was very much a husband can't babysit the kids for too long type but of her own doing. When I was having IVF she made some hugely insensitive comments to me. Wanted to talk to me about her wanting another but her husband not and how she had managed to convince him. Then when she knew I was having a rough time decided to announce her pregnancy to me by banging on about how she had persuaded him, was so sorry it probably would ruin my day (it wouldn't have had she not treated me as she did) and then went at lengths to go on about how she didn't know how they could afford it, how I'd be a much better mum than her and other hugely insensitive things. Our friends thought her behaviour was inappropriate and insensitive. I didnt even cut her off for this but the next time she was rude (regarding a group meet up) and made some horrible comments, I decided to go NC. When we were having the 'break up' texts she turned nasty, was very passive aggressive and I realised that while she had always made me feel during our friendship like she was a victim actually she was and always had been very passive aggressive. I'm sure she really believes that we are no longer friends because I couldn't handle her having kids but it genuinely was nothing to do with it. It was her behaviour. Even had I had children, I wouldve distanced myself had she made those comments to someone else in our group going through the same.

[Newmumatlast]

@SurfBox

Invited me to sleep over and had arranged everything.

Got to her house and had a lovely evening, then her dad came home and it was clear she hadn't asked him if I could sleep over, he had no idea and she didn't even ask him if I could stay. Just said oh Allenstein will be off in a bit just watching a film.

She then gaslight the entire situation and pretended as if I was always going home at the end of the night even to me(despite turning up with an overnight bag and pillow!)

I was shown the door at 01:00 and had to walk 3 miles in the dark, alone, as a 17 year old to town to get a bus back to where I lived

I called my dad who was furious, he doesn't drive so had to meet me in my hometown off the bus, but I still had to walk a lot on my own, through areas with no street lighting, on a Friday evening so loads of drunk people staggering about falling out of bars etc.

Felt so unsafe, didn't speak to her again. But my dad did meet me off the bus with a McDonald's and a big hug so ended alright!

I find it strange as her dad seemed quite nice so didn't understand why she didn't at least ask if I could stay when he came home but alas

I thought you were both 13 here;seems odd to have sleep overs or having to 'ask' her dad at 17. You were pretty much adults.

I would've had to ask if I could have someone sleepover. Even at 18. It was my home but not my house in that I didn't pay the bills nor was responsible for the food etc. There were also other people in my family who had the right to a say over who was in their space. My parents were lovely and I've never had a no to a friend stay over but isnt it just polite to consider others in your family and the people who pay the bills?!

[Judijudi]

Went to best friends wedding who told me she wasn't having bridesmaids to find another friend was a ‘witness’ aka bridesmaid and at reception meal I was seated at furthest table away from bridal party and my chair was positioned as such that it meant I was facing a wall for the entire meal. No idea what I did to deserve it except being happy and having a child before any of my other friends. She became a bit strange towards me when I got pregnant.

[MojoJoejoe]

Shagged a stranger when i was sleeping in a bed with her (no condoms).

Booked a holiday with mutual friends and didnt tell me until it was time to go ( i would have wanted to come too) , begged me for a "loan" for spending money, which i gave, then spent all the above and rang me from the holiday beggimg for more money after a day of arriving..(which i atupidly gave) in Tenerife of all places, then conincidentaly forgot to answer her phone once back for months when i was asking for the loan money back but still posting pictures with othwr friends on nights out. 🙃

I. Am. A. Fool.

[byebye2022]

Not me but when I was travelling home from Greece with my daughter there was a 19 year old crying in seat near me. Turns out she had gone away with her best friend. That friend invited someone else and they were horrid to her, vile and nasty. She had called her mum and her mum had booked her an early flight home. She had left that morning without telling "friends". I tried to offer her some comfort on the flight.
I often wonder if she was ok.

[summerpoolandsun]

Yes @PolarBearsForever I think people are just really flaky. I’ve been stood up on my birthday quite a few times with friends. I was so glad to have DH and DS to spend my birthdays with as I got older as for the first time I had people I could actually rely on. I’ve never had friends I can truly rely on

[PolarBearsForever]

I’ve been let down by friends many, many times. This is probably why my two best friends are my lovely dogs! I just don’t trust people.

When younger I often arranged nights out with friends to find they didn’t turn up, there’s probably four instances when this happened. I was left waiting and they just didn’t arrive. Only once did an old friend recognise me standing there like a lemon and took me under her wing.

Has this ever happened to anyone else on a night out?

[summerpoolandsun]

A ‘friend’ me how it must feel terrible to be static when we were going through three years of infertility and IVF cycles. And then went onto talk about how fulfilling her life was having three kids.

[Pinball2023]

My "best friend" of 10 years stole off me, made numerous false reports against me, went out of her way to sabotage my life in many ways. The last few years I was scared to cut ties (like an abusive relationship) in fear of what they'd do. Towards the end when they knew I was backing off they broke down and admitted it was jealousy. My life improved drastically when I cut all contact.

[DragonbornMum]

Not a friend but a coworker. The two of us made up our department. We weren't besties but we got in fine; decent banter and gossiping. Pretty soon I noticed that coworker loved a good bitching session. She was also very bully-ish and confrontational - she had had screaming matches more than once in our office with more than one person. I did my share of bitching from time to time, but for the most part was just a listening ear to the "senior" that I worked with. You couldn't disagree with her on anything, because she knew everything that had ever been known on every subject under the sun, and she was never wrong about anything, ever.

Anyway, one day she just... stopped talking to me. I have wracked my brain to try and think of something I might have said to offend her and came up with nothing. There was no verbal fight beforehand, which would have been in character. Just one day, she woke up and decided to give me the silent treatment.

Because we were in the same department, she was occasionally forced to speak to me about work. Anything she said was short and nasty, dripping with pure malice and condescension. There were many times I went to visit my then-boyfriend in the evenings and burst into tears when he asked me how I was. Going to work filled with dread because I was going to be treated like nothing, like a piece of shit on her shoes.

After 3 months of cold shoulder, she randomly started being pleasant again. I was just glad the period was over so I went on as before, but I've never forgotten or figured out why it happened. I've lost sleep over it.

[MillicentMold]

Some awful stories about ex BF’s here 😣

I spent 4 years confiding in my BF, of over 30 years, about physical and mental abuse I was receiving at the hands of my DH. It became apparent that he was cheating throughout my 10 year marriage. I was very grateful I had someone to listen and provide emotional support.

I plucked up courage to take my DC and leave him, exactly how me and DF had planned. Only to discover she was best mates with the woman DH was having an affair with (and quickly moved in with).

Ex DF taught me nobody can be trusted.

[creamwitheverything]

Not me but my darling little girl who was 10 yrs old...She ,my dd had never had a best friend and said she would love to have a best friend one day,She met a girl,same age as her at Girl Guides,They fast became best friends,super close,I took the child with us for days out ,treats,meals she had sleep overs then the girl s family moved the girl to my dds school.OMG my dd was so excited,she promised to show her round,stay with her,introduce her to her friends so the new girl could be accepted and make the transition easy for her.All was going well.I became firm friends with her mum too so win win all round.Until after a sleep over here my dd was in tears when her friend had gone home, I was bewildered by all this and the girl had said to my dd and please bear in mind this is a 10 yr old,that she willl be friends with my dd outside school but would not talk or be her friend anymore to her in school anymore because she my dd wasnt as popular as she was so she was dumped in school yet she would still come to starbucks with us as her mum wouldnt take her. My dd was confused ,hurt and really put about by this, I spoke to the girls mum and she said well if she said it thats how it is then I will not interveine but can you baby sit her while i have my hair done on tuesday but dont tell anyone....my answer wasnt very nice on behalf of me or her rotten daughter. I hope that kid grows out of her awful behaviour and her mum learns how to parent but they are so far off our radar now fuck em!

[Americano75]

@TheLostNights

Been screwed over loads of times by 'friends '.

1.At secondary school, my 3 friends all decided to ignore me for the morning for fun. I ended up in tears in the classroom because of it.

1. My best friend at the time telling me that a mutual friend thought I looked like a 12 year old kid.
2. Being ghosted by a friend when my sister tried to kill herself.
3. Having my phone blown up for weeks by a friend who was devastated at her husband leaving her. I was also going through a really tough time too. She ghosted me as soon as she met a new man a month or so later.
4. Another friend was a headf###ker. Used to make a lot of false promises to me, would ignore me for no reason then be all over me the next, made up lies to worry me as she knows how anxious I am. Disappeared when I was no longer of use etc.
5. Best friend of 10 years ghosting me for no reason then coming back a few years later as if nothing had happened.

I've never had much luck with friends, I'm one of those people easily forgotten and left behind. Accepted it now.

Oh love, you and me both!

1. Best friend from school (absolutely inseparable) sided with another friend who took offence at me getting a boyfriend. The fact that she didn't have my back completely broke me.

1. Toxic group of adult women who slowly froze me out after one of them told a blatant lie about my daughter and then me. Worst thing about that is that one of them I had known since primary and reconnected with as adults. I thought she knew me better but no.

Fuck me, I'm middle aged but they still hurt. I'm at that stage in life where friends are nice, but only a bonus as far as I'm concerned. My family is my main focus.

[Frances0911]

A girl who bullied me at school when I was 13, served me in m&s the other day. I specifically remember her making a bee line for me with her friend, when no one was looking, and pressing her hockey stick up against my neck on the playing field and telling me she hated me, and I'd better watch it. I was tiny and only about 4 foot 11 so was terrified. She was insistent on smiling at me and making eye contact to see my reaction, so obviously she hadn't forgotten either, and seemed to have a conscience.