... wondering about the worst thing done to you by a so called "friend" *Content warning added by MNHQ - just flagging that some of these are quite upsetting*

[PieRSquared]

Waiting in the airport to collect my DD from her flight (seriously delayed!) at the end of a great trip she's had travelling abroad with a close friend of hers.

It brings up some very unpleasant memories for me. The plan was to travel for a few weeks in south east asia with my long term best friend, first time I'd ever travelled there. On the 3rd day of our trip she met someone "special" and went travelling with him instead!! It really caused me a huge amount of trouble and stress, traveling alone there was not easy, a few bad incidents, trying to make some other friends along the way. It was also a bit more expensive not sharing a room, and deciding on some safer/more expensive locations.

We're not in contact any more, but I'm feeling angry and agitated as I write this, and think about it again. No more coffee for me!

Any other bad things done by friends were relatively minor for me thankfully.

[Kerrrmieee]

@AprilRae91

Went to my ex fiancé’s wedding, where he married the woman he left me for. Told me I was bitter and mentally ill to be mad as it had been over a year

Why did you go to the wedding?

[JanisMoplin]

Oh good lord. Genuinely shocked by some of the experiences here. OP, you were also treated horribly. I would never leave a friend alone when travelling.

[Londonlassy]

I was struggling to Breast feed and had switched to formula. I had multiple episodes of mastitis and an ulcer on my nipple as well as PND. I felt tremendous guilt about formula feeding and rang my so called friend to talk to her about my guilt. Friend who was trying to make it as a ‘mummy influencer’ at the time was incredible sympathetic at the time. A week later she post on social media that using formula was giving babies their first taste of junk food. I never talked to her again. Ex- Friend never got any followers on her mummy pages and has stopped posting. Karma is a bitch

[StClare101]

I’m horrified by some of these stories. So many awful people out there! I won’t share mine as incredibly tame in comparison.

[HuffleWoof]

Best friend in the entire world made a website about me. It was called 'ihatehufflewoof.com' and sent it to my school friends. She'd taken photos of me getting changed when I wasn't looking so I was in my underwear, and photos of me goofing around but they'd doctored it so it looked so much worse. I nearly killed myself over it.

My mum called the police and it was taken down pretty sharp ish, at the time it wasn't a crime like revenge Porn is now but I'm disabled so the police treated it as a hate crime. They had to go to court and got community service.

[Onlyhuman123]

@Ilikenewbedding

I messaged her to tell her I'd miscarried for the second time (I had no living children, she had one child).
She chose that time to tell me she was pregnant, and when I told her she was a little insensitive to my feelings, she told me I was horrible for not sharing in her joy and said she hopes my next pregnancy ends the same way.
She's no friend to me anymore (not that she ever really was), and that next baby is now an amazingly healthy pre teen who enjoys gaming and driving me crazy ❤

My god! I actually gasped out loud when I read that! I think that's the worst thing I've ever read! 😲 how could she say that to you?!?! Shocking.

[HuffleWoof]

Another one. One of dhs colleagues became a really good friend

We went away for a long weekend and weren't allowed to take our dog with us so he suggested he'd go over let him out, feed him etc, for the weekend. It was a big ask but we were so grateful as it was a family emergency.

Got home and dog has weed against the door, pooed in the kitchen (unheard of for him) water bowl dry as a bone, food still packaged up on the side by the door.

He never went. DH lost his shit at him, it was awful. Not only had a family member died, we very nearly lost our dog.

Hideous he lied at first and said he did go but he then admitted he forgot.

[Fcuk38]

Ghosted because I couldn’t attend her birthday as I had no childcare. My childcare had died not so long before. My childcare was my husband and father to my children.

[orbitalcrisis]

Told everyone I was in an incestuous relationship with my father and slept with my husband after my son's birthday party among other things!

[sue20]

@ChiefWiggumsBoy

This still stings and it was over 20 years ago now.

All throughout school me and two other girls were a threesome - we did everything together. When we were in 6th form, one of them got a boyfriend - he was the mate of some lads that the other girl worked with.

For some reason, from that second onward, she hated me. Was snidey to my face and actively bitching about me behind my back. She would literally arrange stuff and tell the others not to tell me because she didn’t want me there. None of them told me by the way which hurt a lot . On her 18th, me and the other clubbed together to get her a really nice piece of jewellery (I think. Might have been a watch). They had got me a necklace a few months before when she was still talking to me.

She opened it, ignore the card that had both of our names on, and made a loud comment about what a bitch I was to not go in on the gift considering what she’d bought for me. I was so upset. No idea why she invited me to her party tbh.

I turn 40 soon and I’m still upset about it. We were genuinely inseparable from Y7 to 6th form, and she has never spoken to me or indicated what I did to make her turn on me so viciously.

That’s really sad. It seems particularly so that the other girl has apparently been unable to enlighten you? There is something about that age of course.

[sue20]

@LoobyDop

Encouraged me to date a man she knew had seriously assaulted a previous partner. He never got the chance to hurt me because another mutual friend warned me, but I never forgave the friend who kept quiet. She put my life in danger, imo.

How awful and also strange

[TheBikiniExpert]

First year of uni and at the end of year I organised a collection to buy a gift for our lovely cleaner. I had to go home early so I gave her the money- which she spent on herself and told everyone I had stolen it. She was really rich too! She soent the summer in Africa where she picked up an intestinal parasite. 😎

[drawacircleroundit]

These are difficult to read because, as a mum to a 17 year old DD, I often tell her that she must make sure that she spends time only with the people who bring her joy and who she feels contribute to a balanced and psychologically healthy friendship. She has been, over the past year, the only stable one in her group. One friend is careering towards a physically obvious mental health disorder, another has lost all interest in studies, another self-diagnoses every mental health disorder there is, another continuously badmouths her own (supportive, generous and genuine) parents, another is too lazy to work and so never has money whilst simultaneously is not able to enjoy free engagements like a walk in the park because “it’s boring”…
I don’t see my DD’s mental health as being less important than her friends’, and I don’t want her happy positivity to be thwarted by so frequently having to bolster up their apparent inability to be joyful.
My DD often returns home from social encounters or college exhausted with the efforts of listening to the complaining negativity that swirls around her group, hence my advice to her. She would never be actively cruel or fabricate untruths, but her sympathy reserves are starting to run dry. She could feature in a future thread like this as one of the abandoning ex-friends who appeared not to care.

[Fruitbatdancer]

My best friend age 15 stole my boyfriend in the Easter holiday. (I was on hols with parents, there was a party). Complete kids stuff but I couldn’t get over it. Such a shame as we were great friends. Never close again. Now she’s dying of cancer (we’re 40) I see it on social media and I half want to get in touch but I know it would be for my benefit not hers if you know what I mean. So sad. (She has plenty of support doesn’t need me etc otherwise I wouldn’t hesitate)

[DivorcedAndDelighted]

@drawacircleroundit

These are difficult to read because, as a mum to a 17 year old DD, I often tell her that she must make sure that she spends time only with the people who bring her joy and who she feels contribute to a balanced and psychologically healthy friendship. She has been, over the past year, the only stable one in her group. One friend is careering towards a physically obvious mental health disorder, another has lost all interest in studies, another self-diagnoses every mental health disorder there is, another continuously badmouths her own (supportive, generous and genuine) parents, another is too lazy to work and so never has money whilst simultaneously is not able to enjoy free engagements like a walk in the park because “it’s boring”…
I don’t see my DD’s mental health as being less important than her friends’, and I don’t want her happy positivity to be thwarted by so frequently having to bolster up their apparent inability to be joyful.
My DD often returns home from social encounters or college exhausted with the efforts of listening to the complaining negativity that swirls around her group, hence my advice to her. She would never be actively cruel or fabricate untruths, but her sympathy reserves are starting to run dry. She could feature in a future thread like this as one of the abandoning ex-friends who appeared not to care.

Thoughtful post. Likes romantic relationship, a friendship requires the consent of both people to start but only one to end. Friends do need to be able to step back or step away sometimes; how should that be communicated, without hurting the person who wants to stay close?

[drawacircleroundit]

In my early career, just as I was starting to get noticed, I employed another member to join my team. She was charismatic, funny, full of engaging stories, and, I thought, became a friend. Then, very gradually, I noticed that she was repeating some of my own stories back to me as if they were hers. She bought the same small items (think purse, diary, prawn salad lunches) as me. She even ‘happened’ to have the same elective surgery as me.
Then, about 3 years into what I had hoped would be a productive and effective working relationship, she went on jury duty. This was followed by chicken pox. This was followed by being signed off for stress. I never saw her again.
I then found out that she had been regularly bad-mouthing me to my boss’s PA. She moved to another workplace and only lasted a few months there. The same with her next workplace (in my business we network a lot so have access to the tittle-tattle of information). Eventually she left the country.
My boss’s PA had been entirely taken in by her, though, and some of the (unfounded) mud stuck. This woman (the one I had hired) had been so convincing and charismatic that I couldn’t see the seething, vindictive gossip-mongering banshee that she actually had been until my own reputation had been temporarily damaged.
Some people should be forced to wear a “Warning - damage to happiness” sticker.

[invisibleenergie]

So terrible!

[StClare101]

@HuffleWoof

Best friend in the entire world made a website about me. It was called 'ihatehufflewoof.com' and sent it to my school friends. She'd taken photos of me getting changed when I wasn't looking so I was in my underwear, and photos of me goofing around but they'd doctored it so it looked so much worse. I nearly killed myself over it.

My mum called the police and it was taken down pretty sharp ish, at the time it wasn't a crime like revenge Porn is now but I'm disabled so the police treated it as a hate crime. They had to go to court and got community service.

Oh my holy god. I’m so glad the police took it seriously. That person sounds like a sociopath! I’m really sorry that happened to you.

[Eatingsoupwithafork]

i had a friend who hated it if she perceived other people doing better for themselves than her. When I got a job in another city and on £20k she was furious because she wanted to live in another city and be on that wage (this was about 13 years ago).

At first she ghosted me then the weekend before I was due to move she got in touch and admitted she had been jealous. I thought we had turned a corner. She then came to visit myself and another friend for the weekend in that city and it was a bit strained but I thought we had a good weekend. Turns out she didn’t, she went home and told mutual friends that all I did was flash the money and made us go to expensive places for food (we went to the Toby Carvey at her request once during the whole stay). Little did she know that financially I was struggling and one of the people she told this to knew that and so told me. So I distanced myself and I lost a few mutual friends in the process as she made them feel like they had to take sides and she was obviously the victim.

The mutual friend who had told me what she said stayed friends with both of us until she met a partner who made her happy (her previous one treat her really badly for about 10 years). All of a sudden this friend just stopped contact with her. My theory she can’t stand anyone doing “better” than her even though she has a perfectly content life herself.

[drawacircleroundit]

@HuffleWoof

Best friend in the entire world made a website about me. It was called 'ihatehufflewoof.com' and sent it to my school friends. She'd taken photos of me getting changed when I wasn't looking so I was in my underwear, and photos of me goofing around but they'd doctored it so it looked so much worse. I nearly killed myself over it.

My mum called the police and it was taken down pretty sharp ish, at the time it wasn't a crime like revenge Porn is now but I'm disabled so the police treated it as a hate crime. They had to go to court and got community service.

This is terrifying. Makes me want to cry for you, HuffleWoof. Also makes me want to track down your tormentor, crowdfund, and use the cash to advertise in The Times what she did.

[invisibleenergie]

One friend during my uni days slept with my boyfriend. She was hoping he'd commit to her. When he didn't, they both raced to me to tell on each other. I dumped him and walked away with my virginity, kept the friendship with her but on a redefined scale. We were 18 ish. He was nearing 30. I believe he took advantage of her.

Another friend set me up with a friend of hers. He would later tell me she dared him to try to sleep with me since I'd never had sex.

My best friend from childhood relocated to a different country without saying goodbye. The day before, we'd been together as usual and she never gave a hint. She would later say her family asked her to keep it a secret.
Decades later, I would find out they used some of my family's identity to live in the new country because that's where we were born.

My replacement best friend met a 'rich' guy who she quickly wanted to marry. Her mother was doing a lot of voodoo to make that happen. I expressed to her that it was a bad move as I thought we were too young to even be concerned with marriage at the time. She cut me off and didn't invite me to the wedding, I heard her wedding was full of new friends. 15 years later, she tells me he was posing to be rich but she found out he wasn't after the wedding; she can count on her fingers how many times they've made love; he's abusive; he cheats; she's been the breadwinner.

[itsgettingweird]

@forlornlorna1

Totally ghosted me when my 11 year old dd tried to kill herself. After I'd supported her through so many bloody things over the years.

I had this when my 11yo tried the same thing.

It hurts doesn't it? You are a,ready in a grip of fear and then realise you're alone. (Clearly I wasn't but when the closest person disappears you worry the not so close May follow)

[ihatebojo]

When I had just given birth to #DC3, had given up work and didn't know anyone, plus was starting DC1's autism assessments, I met a lady who lived in the village with twin DD's same age as my DD. We quickly became good friends, and I confided many things (esp related to stress if the diagnosis process) to her, feeling so lucky to have a made a friend.

Turns out EVERYTHING I said was being relayed to everyone else in the surrounding villages. She might as well have had a megaphone. She also slagged off my DD (who was a very polite and kind 3 year old, a bit unlike her twins who were rude and fought a lot).

I was absolutely devastated and haven't spoken to her since. She still claims she has no idea what she did to anyone who will listen.

[MmeMeursault]

The mother of my DD15's best friend telephoned school and told them to tell my DD that her DD wouldn't be socialising with my DD anymore because she was concerned that my DD's self harm and mental health concerns would negatively affect her DD's mock exams and would stand in her way of becoming head girl.

But it turns out that the real reason was that my DD had just come out as gay and she was concerned my DD would try and get off with her DD.

[MmeMeursault]

When I (and v small children) were going through painful divorce after ExH had gone off with OW, one now ex-friend regularly regaled me with stories about how sexually titillating and exciting it is to indulge in extra marital affairs and activities and that I should just lighten up and open my mind to sexual liberation.