Partner refusing to wear bike helmet

[Minky719]

Hello Mumsnet,

I’m fairly sure I’m not being unreasonable here but wanted to get some further opinions on this.

DP purchased a bike recently and has been enjoying going for bike rides after work in the good weather. We live in the middle of a large City, so much of the cycling is done on main roads.

The issue I’m having is he just refuses to wear a helmet. He didn’t originally purchase one when he got the bike which I called him up on, and he did then buy a helmet soon after. It fits fine so no issues there, but he’s probably worn it once.

He’s just gone out on a bike ride and yet again is not wearing a helmet. I told him before he left now that I’m not happy about it and asked him why he can’t just wear one when he can see it bothers me (not to mention the very obvious dangers associated with not wearing one). His response is that’s he’s a competent cyclist, he’ll be fine etc. Of course I do not want him to have an accident, but I don’t know how to make him realise it’s important to wear one!

I completely get it’s his choice and there’s no legal requirement to wear one but AIBU here?

Thanks

I really don't buy the idea that motorists give helmet wearing cyclists less room and consideration.

As a driver (and sometimes cyclist) I give all cyclists the same amount of room (lots) and consideration

The danger is that the general opinion is that plonking a helmet on your head is the best thing you can do to protect yourself when cycling.

I always wear my helmet and feel naked without it. However, I did once see some research suggesting that if you don't wear a helmet, drivers behave better because you look more vulnerable. Tell him to put his lid on.

It is rather assuming that the driver has even seen you, hasn't it?

As an ex motorcyclist, that's the whole point. You can be wearing hi vis, a bright orange lid and riding a bike that is so violently obvious that it could be seen from half a mile across a carpark and sat waiting stationary at a set of lights right in front of them as they approach with the lights still on fucking red, but no, you still get somebody standing over you whilst the paramedics are working out whether the risk of being splatted by a lorry coming round the corner outweighs the risk of moving you from the spot you've been catapulted to, saying

'Sorry mate, I didn't see you. Why'd you pull in front of me?'

Bicycle helmets are next to useless if you are hit by another vehicle. They're designed to protect the wearer from very low impact falls, basically falling to the ground from a stationary position. If a cyclist is competent enough to not fall off by themselves while not moving (eg by remembering to put their foot on the ground) then cycle helmets will not help at all. Even in a 20mph accident they are useless - they are just made of polystyrene.

Loads of people don’t wear them and there’s no law that says you have to. He’s a grown man and it’s up to him so YABU.

YANBU I’ve had this same
argument for the last 5 years with my DH he just doesn’t seem to care about his own safety worst part is my grandad was knocked off his bike and killed by a car driver but my DH just keeps telling me he knows his routes and he’s careful but like I keep saying he might be being careful but how does he know that the car behind him or in front of him is being careful as well it only takes a split second for a cyclist to disappear from a drivers view for them to get hit.

Honestly I don’t understand why there is no law to make cyclists wear a helmet- moped, motorbikes and horse riders all have to wear helmets- It’s not seen as a choice for them so why is it a choice and not a requirement for cyclists?

so no YANBU to expect your DP to take a reasonable precaution to protect himself

Fairly balanced article from RoSPA here, including an explanation of why "just" polystyrene is the material of choice for most helmets.
Obviously helmets perform better in some circumstances than others, and they are not a panacea, but I think it's unlikely that the UCI and, to my knowledge, every national cycling regulatory body, would mandate them for all forms of racing if they were of absolutely no use in anything other than very low speed impacts.
www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.rospa.com/media/documents/road-safety/cycle-helmets-factsheet.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiazIivgrX5AhUGAsAKHXwjCTkQFnoECAsQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2pLTxL8Z82JBlbx7NWTZ0o

You're entitled to make your own decision regarding whether you wear a helmet or not, but you're categorically not entitled to your own facts 😄.

Bike helmets reduce the risk of serious injury or death.

Your not all drivers

I've short ish hair, my DD long, we've tried it, if she was behind me, less close passes.

I wear a helmet but if i was hit by a car/truck, its not going to make the slightest bit of difference.

I just wish drivers would slow down, being passed at 60mph 1.5m away is quite intimidating, why do you do it? Do you think its funny or some other kick?

Hope his life insurance and will are written and take care of you accordingly!

In all my 40+ years as a driver, I see the cyclist and the bike. I don't pay any heed to whether or not they are wearing a helmet, so I think these studies are misleading.

Besides, many of the accidents are where the vehicle driver hasn't seen the cyclist at all, so whether they were wearing a helmet or not had no effect on the driver's actions.

When I was 13 my best friend died of a fractured skull. I genuinely believe that anyone who doesn't protect their brains needs them examined. And preferably not when they are splattered all over the road.

Ultimately it is his choice, so you need to respect that. The very distinguished Olympic cyclist & road safety campaigner Chris Boardman is opposed to helmets, so maybe you need to look at the alternative point of view too. I don't think it's as straightforward as most of us believe.

Look - let's be clear about this .....if you fall off or are knocked from your bike and your back/leg/arm take the impact then a helmet will be no help. If you fall or are knocked from your bike and your head takes the impact, then a helmet will be of help and could save your life - or a lifetime as a head-injured invalid.

Unfortunately the choice of which portion of your anatomy takes the impact is not yours to make - you have to take what you get.

Just wear a helmet - the consequences of head injury are both awful and far-reaching.

He should wear one on the road or if he goes fast.

But what @Dotjones is saying is correct. Helmets only work in low speed impacts.

I know a disproportionate number of people who have been killed whilst cycling and a helmet made no difference in all cases because being run over by a car trump's a bit of polystyrene.

I wear a helmet but do this knowing that it'll only work in a limited number of instances. Therefore it's all about your attitude to risk. Nothing else.

My husband rides a motorbike. He is a competent and confident rider. If it was up to him he'd never come off, but he wears the gear for all the knob heads that seem to like to drive to close etc etc. Same for cyclists, you can be as confident and confident as you like but you can't account for people not looking where they're going etc.

As I said above, if a car runs over your body, a helmet will not help. If a car causes you to bash your head on the kerb, then a helmet will help.

It just seems so blindingly obvious to me. Wear the blessed helmet! You do not know which bit of you will be traumatised in an accident - you do not get to choose.

Rampantivy - the the statistic about car drivers giving helmetless cyclists more space came from various studies including this one
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0001457506001540

Usa - motorbikes are not comparable as they are much more powerful and faster

This is very interesting as I was just saying the same thing to DH recently.

Whilst I’m always careful driving around cyclists, I give those without a helmet a much wider berth in that I won’t even attempt to overtake, even if safe. Not because they’d be more hurt by being hit but because I simply don’t trust the judgement of someone who cycles without a helmet. I don’t trust them not to swerve into my path or to stop at lights/ follow the rules of the road.

Except it's not blindingly obvious as studies show that drivers react differently to cyclists who do/don't wear helmets.

Statistically you're still unlikely to be involved in an accident so it's really not an obvious decision and down to personal preference.

There were around 4000 serious injuries in 2019 vs around 6 million cyclists. That's a really small percentage.

ICU nurse here.

A bike rider will always come off worse in an accident. I witnessed a bike vs van with no helmet and the man’s brains covered the road.

Bike vs van or car with helmet is the difference between life and death.

If he wants to be that stupid, he needs to put the finances in order and decide what organs he wants to donate. No one thinks it will happen to them.

YANBU x

Tirednorthener, i'm sure you have plenty of car drivers/ passengers in icu as well