Partner refusing to wear bike helmet

[Minky719]

Hello Mumsnet,

I’m fairly sure I’m not being unreasonable here but wanted to get some further opinions on this.

DP purchased a bike recently and has been enjoying going for bike rides after work in the good weather. We live in the middle of a large City, so much of the cycling is done on main roads.

The issue I’m having is he just refuses to wear a helmet. He didn’t originally purchase one when he got the bike which I called him up on, and he did then buy a helmet soon after. It fits fine so no issues there, but he’s probably worn it once.

He’s just gone out on a bike ride and yet again is not wearing a helmet. I told him before he left now that I’m not happy about it and asked him why he can’t just wear one when he can see it bothers me (not to mention the very obvious dangers associated with not wearing one). His response is that’s he’s a competent cyclist, he’ll be fine etc. Of course I do not want him to have an accident, but I don’t know how to make him realise it’s important to wear one!

I completely get it’s his choice and there’s no legal requirement to wear one but AIBU here?

Thanks

My uncle died after falling off his bike and hitting his head on the kerb. He always wore his helmet when biking his 15-20 mile weekend rides, but didn’t on this occasion as it ‘was only round the corner’ a freak accident but heartbreaking for us all.

I think it should be a legal requirement to wear a helmet on a bike of any description. My DH does. He has come off his bike occasionally too and been glad of the helmet.

I used to work in a hospital alongside consultant anaesthetists. I used to cycle in (as did many of the consultants) I didn't wear a helmet. One of the doctors took me aside and described to me the cyclist with a head injury he'd been dealing with in A & E the previous evening and who was now in the ITU. From then on I've always worn a helmet. Doing anything else is downright stupidly.

*stupidity

Local friend got knocked off and left for dead; serious head injuries, changed personality, nearly died, months in hospital. Helmet would have prevented it.

Told DH if the same happened to him and he wasn't wearing a helmet I wouldn't look after him.

After 22 years he now finally wears one.

I suspect the risks must be small and arguable, given it's not compulsory here in the UK. But just in case as well as life insurance and a will make sure he has an Advance Decision in place and POA set up as a catastrophic brain injury could mean someone else having to make decisions for him for the rest of his life and he might want to make sure that's someone who knows what he wants.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3503925/#!po=41.6667 Nonuse of bicycle helmets and risk of fatal head injury: a proportional mortality, case–control study (TL:DR - no helmet = higher risk of dying)

Chris Boardman doesn't wear one. There are a few arguments against wearing them.
They're can give a false sense of safety so encourage you to take more risks
There is some evidence that drivers keep further away from cyclists without them
When they are made compulsory, cycling becomes less popular, and the overall health benefit of having more people cycling outweighs the risk of the occasional catastrophe (not good if its your catastrophe of course)
We should be putting effort into making better cycle infrastructure, rather than policing individual cyclists
No one much wears them in the Netherlands, where everyone cycles

Personally, I wear one, partly to keep the people who like to tell me what I should do at bay.

Guardian article sums it up quite well

I cycle every day and don't wear a helmet. My choice.

My cousin told me of a case when she was working at a&e, when a man died of head injuries after falling off his bike not wearing a helmet. His wife said he’d been looking at helmets in a shop that morning but he didn’t buy one as he didn’t like the colour.

Google "cycle helmet debate" there's loads of inconclusive evidence either way!

DH won't wear one because he can't tolerate anything putting any pressure on his head. A colleague didn't wear one because it made her tinnitus much worse. Some people would really struggle if they were compulsory.

He's an adult - he can make his own decision.

I got one (back when they were still quite unusual) after two friends had similar accidents - the one with a helmet had broken ribs and all sorts, but no head injury; the one without had no other injuries, but quite severe concussion.

Yeah, he's pretty dumb for not wearing one. But he's an adult and can make his own (bad) decisions. People do all sorts of things that aren't good for them (like sit on the sofa all day eating cr*p.)

Many medics will tell cyclists to wear a helmet. Road Safety practitioners however may have a different view, be careful you get advice from the expert, medics only see the aftermath , nor necessarily the causes...

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime
Thar particular study looks at people who have been in an accident - a helmet will clearly help you in that scenario. The argument against helmets (which I'm not arguing for, just explaining!) is not that a helmet won't protect your head but that it will make an accident more likely to occur. Your study doesn't address that in any way. To be honest I'm not sure if there is any recent quality research in that department, everything I heard about it qas

Oops hit post too soon!

... was about 10 years ago.

My dh also refuses to wear a helmet and his reason is that they look embarrassing...

How shallow and vain
And monumentally stupid.

Or is it because they have more cycle-safe areas?

Yes, they do.

Cycling is very popular where I live, and I regularly see semi professional cyclists out on the roads, especially on a Sunday morning. They all wear helmets. Cycling is big in South Yorkshire these days, I think mainly due to when the Tour de France came through 8 years ago. Since then we have had the Tour de Yorkshire, which has sadly become a victim of covid.

I have a colleague who had a bike accident with a truck - he had significant injuries, but would not be here without the helmet. YANBU.
When I was single and had few responsibilities I will admit I rode around London with no helmet - but that was 25 years ago...

Show him this:

twitter.com/i/status/1230163272621592577

I think he needs to know it's not him being unsafe, but there's many drivers out there that are...

My husband used to say the same when he cycled. I wear one when I’m cycling. I say to him I’d be more embarrassed on life support.

Ps even on a cycle path you can still have an accident. I did and broke my shoulder. You could go over a pothole or some rubbish or (as in my situation) I swerved badly to avoid a child.

As a first aider I recently helped a cyclist who had a terrible fall after a really small collision with another cyclist. She had a very nasty concussion, which possibly could have been worse without a helmet as she went down head first.

Family members who are hugely experienced cyclists always wear helmets and frequently tell me of crazily dangerous drivers. It’s basic stuff.

I agree you can’t force him but I totally understand why you’re worried and bemused by his objections.

This is a good point. Ask him if he thinks the Tour cyclists look silly wearing helmets. Or why they need to bother if they’re elite? Hopefully he’s realise how silly he’s being.

I've cycled all my life and I wear a helmet now unless literally just going around the corner or somewhere nearby on 100% cycle paths. But I've voted YABU because I think people overstate the risk and it's better to be cycling than not.

We should be careful about generating too much anxiety about cycling. Pedestrians (and drivers) are injured by cars too and they don't wear helmets. Exercise and active travel is really good for your health. The more people cycle, the more case there is for properly segregated cycle lanes like the Netherlands where cycling is no more dangerous than walking and nobody wears helmets for everyday cycling.

Sport cycling like fast road cycling or mountain biking is a different matter as you are much more likely to get injured and as far as I can tell helmets are universal in those sports.

He can make the decision but id make it clear to him that if he gets in an accident and ends up needing care, YANBU to refuse to do care for him

its fine to make bad decisions if it only affects yourself, but his decision to not wear a helmet could have a massive price for you. That’s extremely unfair

I was actually about to ask whether he thinks the Tour de France, Velodrome, Olympic and Commonwealth Games cyclists look embarrassing too.

I bet he doesn't, and thinks they look professional. Why doesn't he want to look as professional and good as they do?