He deconstructed my knitting pile.

[MappyDappy]

I am sure I am not being unreasonable here. But here goes.

My partner does a hobby which involves him being out late alot. I asked him a few nights ago if he could skip one so as to spend some more time with him.

He wasnt happy and expressed that I had my hobby that I do every night! (Knitting) but I do this in house. I don't go out to any groups etc. He stayed home. We watched a movie. All good. Went to bed.

Got up this morning and my entire knitting pile (was knitting a cardi and socks for a friend) had been unwound and was sitting in neat balls of wool! I'm absolutely astounded. AIBU to think there is no need for this behaviour for the sake of a night off.

That’s beyond spiteful, it’s unhinged.
you’re right, end of the line I think.

FFS. His response is ridiculous. Get rid of him.

I bet he goes around telling everyone you ruined the relationship over a bit of knitting.😡

Get rid of him

The man is completely unhinged.

@MappyDappy Luckily for you he's only dICKHEAD Partner.
Get rid of him - either kick him out or pack and go.

If my DH did that he'd be lucky to still have his own balls the next morning!

Get out, get out, get out. I don’t usually comment on relationship threads as I never have anything very useful to say but this actually gave me chills OP, he sounds evil! You need to get rid. So sorry about your knitting

Oh my god. New patio time! Absolutely ridiculous childish behaviour! I hope you have already thrown him out!

This has honestly astounded me. I'm sorry op, that's such a malicious thing to do.

You must have spent hours making them.

The more I think about it, it's evil behaviour. It's actually sent chills down my spine, it's sadistic. Get away from this man. Do not stay with him.

Bloody hell. This is terrible. He needs to get in the bin. But I think you know that.

That's unhinged! You shouldn't stay with someone who would even think to do something like that. It's so horrible and childish. I'm angry just reading about it!

And when you do end things, now you know exactly what kind of childish, underhanded behaviour he thinks is ok so be prepared.

I knit too and if a partner did that to my stuff I think I'd just ghost them. Not even kidding. It's no different to if you'd spent months on a painting and they wrecked it deliberately after an argument or something.

For the love of God, please get away from this man. I can;t get over such pathetic malice! This man is not right in the head. You DO realise this, don't you?!

When you leave him, please deconstruct his hobby as a goodby gift. e.g. if cycling, have his bike stripped down to parts and neatly laid out in the living room.

Oh gosh me too!!
This is spiteful and weird...imagine sitting up whilst you slept silently unravelling all your knitting it's just creepy in the extreme.
I'm not sure I could really come back from that!

He ripped it back to the beginning, so all the hours of work gone??? that's a really worrying thing to have done. He literally destroyed what you have worked on, I sincerely hope he is an ex.

That is really bizarre, it’s a calculated targeted act that was guaranteed to upset you. I’m guessing he thought it would stop you asking anything of him in the future, if you were concerned about any retaliation he might carry out.
Do you have any other concerns about this relationship? I’m aware this is only one instance but it seems such a hurtful thing to do.

I don't think you are treating this as seriously as you should. Your reaction seems to be just mildly annoyed not shocked and white hot angry which most people in your situation would be. Because it is truly shocking from an adult and not at all normal.

Have you been desensitised to him behaving in this sort of bizarre way? Because it's not just childish and petulant, it's downright psychopathic - there is something deeply wrong with his thinking and need for 'revenge'. I'd genuinely be worried about how he might react if you did something he really didn't like. It could get very nasty.

I'm glad you think this is the last straw. I hope you act on it and quickly.

If he tidied up the lose bits into balls fine, if he unwound what you had done he’s a vindictive prick

I’ve read so many threads on mumsnet about crap partners but weirdly this is one of the worst. It wasn’t something done or shouted in the heat of the moment- he calmly sat there and unwound it all neatly to punish you. He wanted to punish you because he thought you deserved it.

Do you own the house? Are finances shared? Do you have kids? I really hope you own the house and everything else is separate so you can just change the locks, dismantle his stuff and leave it in the front garden 😂

I thought you meant he'd gone through your carefully piled up stuff looking for something, but this? Malicious, evil, calculating. You don't need this is your life. He's controlling and trying to get you in line. There's no coming back from this.

What a spiteful little shit. I am afraid I would be considering spitting in his tea for a few months in silent revenge. But in reality I think you need to rethink your relationship with this selfish petty minded child.

That’s a scary level of maliciousness really. Who does something like that? It’s so calculated and nasty.

He’s shown you something in his character that he’s been keeping well hidden til now (probably strategically). It might ‘only’ be knitting this time, but this kind of nasty, abusive behaviour is likely to escalate.

I would be spending the day getting copies of financial documents etc. and making a plan to leave him.

Many marriages aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, people have rows, snap because of stress etc. but that is cold and deliberately vindictive and I couldn't share my life with someone like that.

It must have taken ages to pull it apart and then wind it back into neat balls. Its alarming and quite scary.