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AIBU?

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Original poster

He deconstructed my knitting pile.

472 replies

MappyDappy · 05/08/2022 10:11

I am sure I am not being unreasonable here. But here goes.

My partner does a hobby which involves him being out late alot. I asked him a few nights ago if he could skip one so as to spend some more time with him.

He wasnt happy and expressed that I had my hobby that I do every night! (Knitting) but I do this in house. I don't go out to any groups etc. He stayed home. We watched a movie. All good. Went to bed.

Got up this morning and my entire knitting pile (was knitting a cardi and socks for a friend) had been unwound and was sitting in neat balls of wool! I'm absolutely astounded. AIBU to think there is no need for this behaviour for the sake of a night off.

OP posts:
MayISuggestSomeThickCutSteakChipsToGoWithThat · 05/08/2022 15:11

I'd have shoved the knitting needles where the sun doesn't shine!!

littlefireseverywhere · 05/08/2022 15:12

Yes, I think he’s got you to end it as that’s what he wanted. We’ll done OP & sorry about your knitting , he’s an utter dick.

SolasAnla · 05/08/2022 15:12

KettrickenSmiled · 05/08/2022 14:45

Your scolding is a little late to do any good, so I wonder what your point is in posting it @SolasAnla?

Having been in the position to need an Injunction served on my ex-H when he entered family annihilator mode, I don't need to do any checking into police effectiveness in this area thanks.
OP has removed him from her home.
She has done what she can to ensure he can no longer enter it, & was eminently sensible in choosing not to tell him face to face that they are done.

The usual Midsomer Murder outcome is a sinister but ridiculous murder - OP's ex being the obvious candidate here.
HTH

Show quote history

you remained delightfully naive.

Congratulations on being a splendid survivor.

CallOnMe · 05/08/2022 15:14

That seems a bit of a mild mannered reaction for someone who's just been kicked out.

It may be that he’s now playing the calm, non-crazy one and make out like OP has completely over reacted.

Wherever he goes either to an OW, friends or family he’ll be acting like the victim.

PinkSnowAndStars · 05/08/2022 15:20

well done!!

The pure spiteful ness he has showed is astounding! I’m in awe of how you’ve reacted!

SolasAnla · 05/08/2022 15:21

Ziggyisthebestdogintheworld · 05/08/2022 14:30

I remember about 23/4 years ago I started to do a cross stitch of a little Victorian girl putting a letter in a letter box

id worked every single day for about 9 months on it-it was my project,just for me

anyway my ex (and unfortunately the father of my children) came round-he was treating my house like a doss house-‘I can come round to see my children whenever I like’ (he didn’t want to see them-he wanted to snoop on me-I was way too soft and daft in those days to stop him)

i was about 30 odd stitches off finishing it,when he stood in front of me,poured a takeaway cup of black coffee all over it,laughed at my face,then stubbed out his fag on my new carpet (that I’d saved for months to buy) and walked out

I cried for well over an hour-then got tough

he never came back into my house,I never saw him as contact went through a contact centre and he finally lost interest in us

it’s the sheer ‘I worked on that-it was mine’ and to see it so cruelly destroyed it just heartbreaking

i tell myself he was jealous that I could make something so beautiful and he couldn’t cope with it

ive just bought myself the same kit on eBay and I’m going to remake it and hang it up as my ‘you can’t destroy this one you arsehole’ moment

@Ziggyisthebestdogintheworld
I so hope you enjoy the time it takes to finish and frame it👍👍👍

And can I suggest that you work in a little red line on the ground to remind yourself that that day you build yourself back up after he tried to keep you down?

WifeMotherWorkRepeat · 05/08/2022 15:23

Hey OP, your heart must of sunk at the sight of hours and hours of knitting unraveled! What a nasty, malicious and unhinged thing to do just because you wanted to spend an evening together!!!

Luckily I have just read all your updates… you are absolutely doing the right thing, I hope you find someone that appreciates you!

KettrickenSmiled · 05/08/2022 15:24

you remained delightfully naive.
In what way, @SolasAnla? You seem to be inventing a lot of detail about a stranger on the internet - are you ok?

Congratulations on being a splendid survivor.
I am that. Months of life-threatening behaviour from the sociopathic ex, yet I kept everything going, & didn't get murdered. Lucky me. What part of that makes you imagine naivete?

Pipsquiggle · 05/08/2022 15:26

Well done OP.

What a spiteful dickhead he is.

Hope your locks are sorted.

user850301848172 · 05/08/2022 15:27

Take the guitar strings off and tie knots in them.

What a dick. I'm glad to read you're well rid.

possiblypassable · 05/08/2022 15:33

I'm sure it's been said already on a thread this long, but I'd be having fantasies about strangling him with the yarn and stabbing him with the knitting needles. What an petulant bratty man-child! I honestly could never respect him again after that. He must know it took hours to do that, and what did he achieve by ruining it? If he didn't want to stay home, he should've insisted that he was going out, not played along and then sabotaged your hobby as revenge.

I'd tell him that he needn't worry I'd be asking him to stay home from his hobby again, because after that, I'd not want to spend a moment more with him than absolutely necessary. Kick him out of bed for the week, the jerk!

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 05/08/2022 15:35

Wow! Whoever above said 'Spiteful ' is exactly right.

ttacticall · 05/08/2022 15:38

This reply has been deleted

This post has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk guidelines.

possiblypassable · 05/08/2022 15:40

Now that I've read the updates, good job getting him out immediately, OP. There's something deeply wrong with a person who can be so spiteful. If he did this to provoke you to end things, it's more evidence of an unstable mind. Why not just say he's leaving? I guess this way you saved him the packing. What a jerk!

DPotter · 05/08/2022 15:49

ttactical
I can see him unravelling the knitting as some sort of a punishment but why on earth would he then wind the wool into tidy little balls? That takes time and is a fiddly and tedious job, why would he bother?

You unravel and roll as you go, not unravel and then roll. If you do the later the wool gets knotted.

IvorCutler · 05/08/2022 15:53

Menopants · 05/08/2022 10:13

Utter cunt.

This with bells on

ttacticall · 05/08/2022 15:54

DPotter · 05/08/2022 15:49

ttactical
I can see him unravelling the knitting as some sort of a punishment but why on earth would he then wind the wool into tidy little balls? That takes time and is a fiddly and tedious job, why would he bother?

You unravel and roll as you go, not unravel and then roll. If you do the later the wool gets knotted.

Exactly! Why would he care if the wool got knotted? He's making a statement not helping with the next project.

FangsForTheMemory · 05/08/2022 15:55

OP You are a role model for everyone stuck in a relationship with a twat!

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 15:57

ttacticall · 05/08/2022 15:54

Exactly! Why would he care if the wool got knotted? He's making a statement not helping with the next project.

Show quote history

I think if my DH were to frog my knitting (which he would not) he would probably do it this way out of habit, because its how he's seen me do it, it probably wouldn't occur to him to do it a different way

Also because you get yourself in a mess if you try to just frog wildly, its also just easier to use the tension from winding the ball to undo the stitches for you

Howappropriate · 05/08/2022 16:00

I'm so sorry he did this. I think he needs to do his hobby 7 nights a week until you can separate. That is so cruel and calculating.

PrinnyPree · 05/08/2022 16:02

OMG and wow! OP your ex partner is a total cunt but you have dealt with his twattishness in legendary style! Wipes a proud tear

Well done OP, sorry about your lovely knitting. X

HelloThereObiWan · 05/08/2022 16:03

MappyDappy · 05/08/2022 13:13

He's text me saying "thought so. I suppose I'm out on my ear?" So he must have taken lunch today.

I'm midway through sorting the locks out. Following a YouTube tutorial.

Well done OP. I hope you are ok.

Howappropriate · 05/08/2022 16:04

Sorry OP. I've now RTFT. Congratulations on taking swift action. I admire your strength. Happy knitting!!

SolasAnla · 05/08/2022 16:05

KettrickenSmiled · 05/08/2022 15:24

you remained delightfully naive.
In what way, @SolasAnla? You seem to be inventing a lot of detail about a stranger on the internet - are you ok?

Congratulations on being a splendid survivor.
I am that. Months of life-threatening behaviour from the sociopathic ex, yet I kept everything going, & didn't get murdered. Lucky me. What part of that makes you imagine naivete?

Your wit shines

Angippp · 05/08/2022 16:09

ttacticall · 05/08/2022 15:54

Exactly! Why would he care if the wool got knotted? He's making a statement not helping with the next project.

Show quote history

exactly because it IS a statement, it's showing how calculating he was when he did it, he wanted to make sure she didn't mistake it for an accident.

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