Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

😂😂😂 at least it’s a change from the ‘who’s going to wipe your arse when you are in a home’ trope.

larger houses are about comfort and convenience rather than need. It’s only you who is trying to put people into tiers of worthy or unworthy of a large house.

You just describe many new build housea as well!
Honestly. If "bedroom" fits single bed and nothing else, it's not bedroom.

Most housing in UK siffers from lack of storage. One of the most annoying things here. Top 10 on my list

No the Queen lives in several massive houses but only has three children and one we don't talk about.

Couples tend to have more disposable income than families.

Property is valued based on size/ land area plus inflated for location factors such as good schools. If a family is struggling to afford a 2-3 bed house, they're not going to afford a 4-5+ bed house because a generation of older people downsized. You'll just inflate the 2-3 beds even further, and 4-5 beds remain out of reach.

We do have an issue especially with houses built since 1970, that room sizes are too pokey.
Around here the smallest "bedrooms" tend to end up being wardrobe overflow because they're only big enough to accommodate a bed and a piece of furniture and the master room is too skimpy to accomodate storage for two people. The newest 4-5 bed homes have the footprint/ land comparable with Victorian 2-3 bed terraces, they're just a storey higher.

I wouldn't assume that bedroom numbers are indicative of household size.

The local newspaper has a soft spot for running stories about families who are overcrowded, and would be overcrowded in any home worth less than £700,000 ( we're a long way from London) When families are beyond saving up to upsize, often family life will continue anyway and people will have larger families in smaller housing stock.

No definitely not.

We live in a 5 bed (two used as offices/study(both work from home part of the time) and DH snores so the remaining three are used a bedrooms every day) with one child (now young adult). No one has ever commented. DH lived there by himself before I moved in (before we extended but it was still a 4 bed) - again, no comment. I would like a slightly bigger house if we could easily afford it - even after DS moves out.

One of my friends lives in a 6 bed with a fair amount of land and additional receptions rooms with just her DH (never had children but very social and often have people to stay). Never occurred to me to think that was in some way odd and I've never heard anyone else comment on that either (they clearly can afford to spend more on a house than me though!).

We have a four bed for two of us. No intention of adding children either. Of the spare rooms one is a guest room, one is a study, and one is used as a wardrobe/closet. I like the space and the fact we have some land with the place, so no neighbours overlooking us.

f the spare rooms one is a guest room, one is a study, and one is used as a wardrobe/closet

That's our set-up as well. We're on an estate though so very overlooked. Tbh the downstairs isnt' massive, either. It's lovely for two people but has an in-build garage which takes away a lot of the square footage. Most of my neighbours with children have done extensions and/or garage conversions.

No they’re not 🤨 houses are for living in, isn’t that their ultimate purpose? If I was expressing disapproval over buy to let landlords, or the empty properties across the country that people are holding as ‘investments’ everyone would be agreeing with me. Empty space is empty space, to me having 4 empty bedrooms lying about isn’t much different to owning an empty 4 bedroom property just to make a profit on selling it one day.

I use all my bedrooms though, they're not lying empty.

I grew up where houses are sold based on m2 not bedrooms (though they say total room count as well of course) but I think that's why developers even now aren't successful with shoe box rooms and are not doing it much. I do wonder if change to selling based on sq footage rather than bedrooms would help make proper sized rooms. Then people would know that 3 bed doesn't necessarily mean family house because the third bedroom is simply not a bedroom but merely an oversized warderobe.

Like
4+1 house 120sqm (4 rooms+kitchen)
or
3 bedroom house (but it turns out it's 70sqm which imho shouldn't be anything over 2 bedroom flat....)

not sure if that's making sense?

They’re not empty though, they’re being used. Lived in, you could even say. Not specifically to your liking but oh well.

But why do you assume the bedrooms are empty? They’re not -people have said; they use one or two to work from home, or a dressing room, etc. They’re not necessarily bedrooms any more. Many I know who have a “spare” bedroom have lodgers. Our adult DC live with us.

I actually agree with everything you have said @Wouldloveanother, I don't know why some people can't see that what you're saying makes sense. They're obviously the greedy people you're talking about and feel they are justified.

We lost out on 3 properties, all 4 bed detached with large gardens, to single women of an age where their child rearing days are long gone. We were absolutely gutted. Thankfully we are now buying a lovely property from a couple in their 90s who are downsizing to a 2 bed bungalow.

Also, we found that on each occasion that the estate agents were really in our corner and wanted the homes to go to families. They all said they'd seen this happening a lot more often, where families are losing out on buying family homes and they don't think it's right. They're working for the seller, so had absolutely no reason to back us as buyers if there was someone who had a bigger budget and was in a better selling position.

I don’t think it’s excessive but 4 beds are usually considered ‘family’ houses. People should know by now not to comment on peoples plans for kids these days. FWIW my lovely SIL struggled to conceive and would find perceived slights and criticisms everywhere, I think partly as she was so sensitive about it (understandably). Even ‘just the two of you?’ Casually asked in a pub for a table would upset her, completely innocuous comments. I wouldn’t read too much into it and sorry for your losses.

I have always thought this, @Bubblebubblebah, despite growing up in a place where houses were routinely described in terms of bedroom number. It’s pretty illogical, when you think about it, and weirdly prescriptive about how you use space.

Literally everyone on this thread who has a larger house has illustrated exactly how they use their house! Unless of course you are suggesting that people without children aren't 'living'! If you want to whinge about BTL landlords then go for your life but I certainly won't be agreeing with you. I am sorry that you cannot afford to accommodate your family in the way that you clearly feel entitled to but maybe in that case you should stop at one child so you can stick to a 2 bed. You must have been a massive fan of the bedroom tax though!

If they’ve got lodgers it’s fine because they’re being used. Using them as a ‘dressing room’ isn’t really using them, to me.

Eh? That’s not a big house

They sweeten you up so you look at more houses with them. We were told the same about couples losing to families who have family help!

“don't know why some people can't see that what you're saying makes sense. They're obviously the greedy people you're talking about and feel they are justified.”

Buying a house we liked that we could afford? Yes, I absolutely feel justified in doing that. If that makes me greedy in your eyes then that’s fine. I’m not sure why ‘I’m judging you’ is being wielded like it’s the worst thing you can do to someone, like they’re obliged to care about said judgement. By all means go for it, the impact that has is on you, not me 🤷🏻‍♀️

*young couples

I can afford to accommodate my family in the way I feel entitled. We live in a completely sufficiently sized house for our means. We don’t have 3+ spare bedrooms lying empty, however, and it doesn’t mean I don’t feel for people who can’t.

Not single women past their child rearing years! The horror! Maybe we could send them off to some sort of dormitory for old women past their sell by date. Can't have them using up space that could be available for you and your offspring. After all you are a 'hard working family' and everyone else should just move aside!

No I wouldn't assume that, but then we have a 4 bedroom house with no children. I've never had anybody ask if ours is filled with multiple children.

I presume then that you will now be buying a bigger house when you have another child. How greedy, why not stick at one child. There are people who already have two children and can't afford to move, you are going to make it more competitive for them.