Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

I live in what might be considered a big house. Five bedrooms, three bathroom detached farmhouse style place. At the moment it does accommodate a lot of people, me, dh, three teenage schoolkids and a Ukrainian mum and child.
I can't wait to downsize, I dream of living in a van.

Yes I would assume they have a couple of kids or are planning to have more.

It seems odd that a couple would get a 3+ bedroom home when it’s just them due simply to financial reasons.

Of course people have offices, walk in wardrobes, games rooms etc but it’s not as common as having rooms for children.

Whenever friends or family look for a house with more rooms it’s always because they’re going to try and have another baby which is probably why I’d assume with everyone else.

I don’t think it’s a big deal though and I’d never judge anyone for it.

If you want a 5+ bedroom house for just you and your cats then more power to you, just like if you want a bigger home as you want more children or want a spare room etc.
It’s your money and your choice.

I wouldn't. We on ly have one child but live in a 5 bed. Nobody has ever assumed we have more, to my knowledge.

We have a 4 bed house zero kids , same with both our neighbours

It would though. There are a finite number of ‘family’ homes, if they’re being bought up by couples or individuals then they’re no longer available for families. And if singles/couples were no longer in the market for enormous houses that they don’t need, the competition would naturally go down. I was saying to DH that I don’t think the housing crisis will be alleviated until the boomers are no longer with us and their houses go on the market.

I know it’s an unpopular opinion, and like I said I wouldn’t legislate against couples buying enormous houses or anything (like I have the power anyway 😉) - it’s more of a moral issue. I wouldn’t buy a huge house that is vastly bigger than what I need, because I think it’s quite greedy.

Myself and husband (and cat) are currently in a 1 bed and bursting at the seems (wfh space for him, storage for 2 x adults, kitchen space etc).

we are currently buying a 3 bed and our primary driver is for the living space- it has a 25 ft long kitchen/diner/entertaining space and separate lounge. We love cooking and having people over and simply wouldn’t get that in a house with any less bedrooms. The rooms are 2 beds and a box so 1 bedroom for us, 2nd room will be spare room/my dressing room (husband’s family live away!), box will either be study space/storage or laundry room!

Same here! 4 bed, no dc!

We did leave a spare room as we TTC.

One room - study, one room - dressing room, our bedroom, plus the spare room

Yes, we get this all the time. 5 bed house. 'Time to fill it with children' is chimed at us regularly. It is so tiresome.

I know lots of people in three-bed houses that have no children. Most people would rather buy a freehold house than a leasehold flat with high service charges. A house usually will have a much better or bigger garden. A three-bed house is a very typical type of house. It’ll be easier to get a three-bed than a two-bed house in many parts of the country.

A three bed house is not a big house. Terraced houses have three beds

I dont class a general 3 bed as big at all. But it is about the square footage.
I try not to make assumptions or judgments about anyone, i definitely wouldn't about someone buying a house.

No. It's not just about number of bedrooms.

You don't get many reception rooms with a 2 bed property - often just a small kitchen & sitting room.

To get a bigger kitchen, dining room & large sitting room, you have to buy a house with more bedrooms typically.

I don’t think being a terraced house has much to do with it. I’m in a terraced house and it’s a four-bed. And my neighbours have done conversions and they have five-beds -no children.

3 bed house with a study might mean a natural 4 bedder? So locals see it as 'big'?

People can choose whatever size house they like, and I wouldn't make assumptions about DC.

Any thoughts I have about overconsumption (generally, climate change, and specifically, the many anomalies of UK housing supply) would be kept to myself

We bought a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house with 2 reception rooms. Just the 2 of us.

We had a 4 bedroom house before DD was born. We often had friends or family to stay so we needed the extra bedrooms.

We have 4 bedrooms now, but one is my office.

Two bedroom houses often have a small footprint, so the living space isn't great. If you want a decent sized lounge, a good sized kitchen and a downstairs toilet, then that generally comes with three bedrooms, whether you need them or not.

I wouldn't compromise on the airy living space I want, simply because other people think I have too many bedrooms.

We live in a large 4 bedroom detached house - just me, my husband and the dog. No one has ever assumed we must have multiple children, but we DO get “wow, all this space just for the two of you??” quite often, as if we’re slightly odd.

I guess we just like a lot of space 😄

If a family had wanted it, they could have bought it so any arguments that we’ve “taken” a family home needlessly are pointless.

Surely you realise the extra competition of couples and singletons makes it harder for them?

I don’t see 3 bedrooms as excessively huge, a study and a guest room is pretty reasonable. I find it odd when it’s a couple in a 4+ bed though.

No their choice to have multiple children made it harder for them.

Lots of people had children before the housing crisis, it didn’t start all that long ago. Prices are rising by over 10% a year. I’ve got a 3 year old, since having her they’ve gone up by 40k on average…

Why would it be extra competition? Many families live in flats where I am. Families tend to have less disposable income, so aren’t necessarily the prime house buyers, especially in expensive areas. Many people I know who live in houses don’t have children. Most families live in flats.

I would never make that assumption. With the working from home thing, people need extra bedrooms for offices, especially if there's two of you. We have no kids living with us but have a four bedroom house. One bedroom is a dressing room, one a hobby room, one is my grandson's when he stays over and one for us to sleep in. People buy for the space they need. I can honestly say our space, both upstairs and downstairs (two reception rooms - one used as a sitting room with television, one used as a snug) is fully utilised.

So sorry you've had this sadness, hope that the project of renovating your house goes really well and you enjoy your home with it's extra space for you both.

I wouldn’t consider a three bed room house as large, although this sounds like it could be a four bedroom house, depending on what you mean by study. We are a couple and have a three bedroom house, the smallest I use for a dressing room, I think it would be hard to make into a bedroom even for a child as it has sloping ceilings so hard to fit furniture in. The other bedroom is a guest bedroom or in fact used quite regularly by DH due to snoring. 😃

We don’t really care about bedrooms, but a one / two bedroom house does not come with the living space downstairs that we would like and we do not see why we should live crammed up, unable to have guests because we were not blessed with children.