Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

The Catchment thing was one specific example and it wasn’t a ‘good’ catchment. Just the catchment for the special needs school.

So even if there was a 7 bedroom house, that you could easily afford, that would allow extra space as a playroom/hobby room/guest room or whatever, you wouldn’t buy it?

Single Elderly lady (note the single-ism and ageism here) could have needed large house for

• children, grandchildren, God children


• she might be an amazing artist with all sorts of visitors from around the world


• She might have a lot of cats


• she might have a lot of friends who come to stay all at the same time

Really, who cares? Just because she hasn't recently fornicated without contraception does not mean she is not entitled to a house of her choice and maybe dreams.

No, I honestly wouldn’t. We don’t need that kind of space. I also disagree with the environmental aspect - heating a huge house for just a few people is a waste, costly and bad for the environment. It also encourages clutter (for me I mean), if DD’s toys didn’t fit neatly into her room then she has too many toys! I also don’t like the thought of ‘rattling’ round a house of that size, I prefer my homes to feel homely.

Is ‘cats’ the best you could come up with?

I have cats. I'd like more cats. I see the world through cat-coloured glasses. So, sue me.

No, if you lose you might have to sell your huge house 😉 then there would be a displaced cat crisis.

Going by the size of the houses around me, you wouldn't have an issue with 'rattling' around large house even with 6 bed😂
Honestly, some of the new builds are criminal

I wouldn't assume a 3 bed house with study was huge, it really depends on how big the rooms are / square footage/ living space. I àm in the process of moving and viewed some 3 beds that were smaller than my current 2 bed flat in terms of square footage.
Some of them had 2 tiny bedrooms and a very cramped master that didn't have enough room for one couple's stuff so they were using another bedroom as a wardrobe, no way was it big enough for my 4 person family. Those houses should have had two decent size bedrooms really not 3, and no ensuite. I viewed a couple of places like that .
And no I wouldn't assume anything about how many children you did /didn't have. Are people making intrusive comments OP ? Might help to have some stock/jokey answers to fob them off with i.e. the cat needs its own room/DH snores etc. Sorry for your losses.
I don't think the answer to the housing crisis is for people to have to downsize. I'm not sure what the answer is but there seems to very high demand for 2-3 bed places for people starting out and families, there should be more homes built this size maybe with a minimum square footage requirement so they are actually adequately sized for the kind of family this should accommodate. Forcing people out of larger homes would increase demand even more on 2-3 bed places.

I really hope that none of our new neighbours are as judgy as you lot about us buying a 4 bed house as a couple in their 30s with two cats and no kids.

Fingers crossed we'll manage to have at least one child in there but if not I guess we'll be shipped off to live in a studio apartment worthy of our status.

I'm more likely to buy a bigger house after reading this thread, as I'm petty like that.

Well, you’re telling me to stop making a point when you’re repeatedly making the same ones yourself 😂

People are obviously responding to the weird idea you seem to have that your opinions as to their needs should be in any way relevant to them. Even if we don’t ‘need’ large houses, wanting them is equally as valid a reason for getting one if we can afford it. That’s the bottom line really, there’s no ‘well, what you should do…’ about it.

The problem is that disproportionate applies differently to your family of 3 than to a single person. In your view, 7 bedrooms is disproportionate for a family of 4, so almost twice as many bedrooms as people. On that basis, a single person or a couple would be disproportionate if they bought anything larger than a 2 bed (single) or 3 bed (couple). That’s why it’s coming across as if you’re targeting singles. Because you actually are. You may think you’re being fair because you’re also saying those with 2 kids shouldn’t live in 7 bed houses, but when you look at the detail, the consequences of your argument is that that single people should be living in 2 bed or less.

No, if you lose you might have to sell your huge house 😉 then there would be a displaced cat crisis.

If I ever win the lottery I am so buying the most massive house in the prettiest village I can find and filling it with cats.

Nah I said further up thread that I don’t think having an office plus guest room is unreasonable. If anything I’m targeting couples as they have to share 😂

Children are for people who can’t have cats.

Can I please be your neighbour? I also have cats but they’re very friendly and would be encouraged to make friends with yours.

This is my new favourite quote.

I just want to point out that OP's house is actually perfect example of the "who said it must be a bedroom".3 bed and study could be easily advertised as 4 bed (and they are actually). So essentially OP is same heathen like us others and has 4 bedrooms😁 Or I have 2 bed and a study. Whichever floats the boat😁

But it's not a big house.

It's a painful thing to hear if they're assuming that. Very unreasonable of them.

I have a 5 bed 4 reception room house for just me and my DH, we bought it for the garden and the location to be honest, we would have been happier with a smaller house but there wasn't one in our price range with as good a garden.

I don't feel guilty that a family could have bought it because it was on the market for 4 years before we bought it so families had every opportunity, and because the sheer amount of work needing doing to it (half the rooms had no plaster on the walls, it needs all new windows which currently don't lock upstairs so a child could easily fall out of them etc etc) make it a very unsuitable house for a family to buy anyway unless they were planning on living elsewhere to do it up.

So another view on what we are actually doing is returning a family home to a habitable house, so that when we sell it its actually suitable for a family to move into.

Can I please be your neighbour? I also have cats but they’re very friendly and would be encouraged to make friends with yours.

Hell, yeah. Sounds like heaven and so much better than tiki bars and plastic pools.

And when your children grow up do you intend on downsizing to a two bedroom house as soon as they leave home?

Yes @Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits i detailed my plans in a previous post. I intend to buy a swanky 2 bed flat with a lift in a city centre location and stay young going to pubs, shows and art exhibitions etc. DH is thrilled because he’s a city culture vulture and we live semi rurally at the moment.

Ah apologies I missed that. Fair play then I like people who stick to their convictions. I still disagree with yours, but I respect your choices