Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

I intend to buy a swanky 2 bed flat with a lift in a city centre location and stay young going to pubs, shows and art exhibitions etc. DH is thrilled because he’s a city culture vulture and we live semi rurally at the moment

I want one of these as well as a big house.

We shall sell our 250sqm family home, eventually, to buy elsewhere that will suit us better, but I have been idly looking for what we want, and it's extremely rare -- plus a lot of folk in a situation similar to us are seeking the same, therefore also expensive. Whoever offers the asking price can buy mine, with or without children.

Of course you do.

Me neither.

I always thought it a bit weird a couple would have a four bed house and big garden, but now, post-covid, you might have a bedroom, guest bedroom and an office each. Habits have changed.

But given the lack of space in the UK, and tiny houses, developers probably need to catch up. I do think people should consider if they actually need all the space (or the location eg near good schools once kids have grown up) but it is quite difficult to move. We're in the category of being in the catchment area for good schools and our son is 19 so we should move and free up the house for someone who needs it, but it's difficult making the effort (and it's expensive, and also where to, we live in a reasonably nice place with lots of pluses.

Of course you do.

Can I have a house in a small Tuscan village too? With cats.

A swanky city-centre apartment isn't going to suit everyone. Our hobbies and interests mean we rely on having a driveway and a garage.
You're wrapping a life choice in a cloak of virtue and judging others for not making exactly the same choices as you, regardless of whether it suits them.

So even if there was a 7 bedroom house, that you could easily afford, that would allow extra space as a playroom/hobby room/guest room or whatever, you wouldn’t buy it?

I certainly wouldn't even if I could afford to. Too much cleaning and imagine the heating bills! I'd leave it for someone richer than me with about 5 kids.

A three bedroom house is not a large house!
my husband and I live alone in our four bedroom home and have never once been asked the size of our family?
are you sure this is not just a stealth boast about your three bed semi in the suberbs?

😂

think my time on this thread is done!

Eventually the perfect house came up, they maxed out their budget to put in a full asking price offer, but got pipped to it by a single elderly lady. It was a 5 bedroom house if I remember rightly

was she buying it to live in herself? Maybe she was moving in her family to look after her.

A lot of elderly people stay in houses too long that they can't cope with; but there again, who wants to move into a retirement flat until they absolutely have to? Even those so-called retirement villages look ghastly (and horribly expensive). I'd much rather live in a "normal" flat or bungalow! But bungalows are difficult to come by and flats have serious noise pollution issues as well as high service charges.

I really don't understand how living in a different house is giving up decades of your life. It's just a house, it's background, just wallpaper, to your life. It's what goes on in your life that's important, the people you know, the things you do. I'll never understand this attachment to material stuff as if it's important

I agree, I have no sentimental attachment to my house at all. I live here, and one day I won't, and someone else will and will hopefully be happy here. I'd happily live in a bungalow, we always lived in bungalows when I was a child because my father didn't like houses, so they have no "granny" image for me. My mum lives in a bungalow now and it is perfect for her. The garden is becoming a bit too much but she pays a gardener.

Wouldloveanother · Today 12:41
No, I honestly wouldn’t. We don’t need that kind of space. I also disagree with the environmental aspect - heating a huge house for just a few people is a waste, costly and bad for the environment. It also encourages clutter (for me I mean), if DD’s toys didn’t fit neatly into her room then she has too many toys! I also don’t like the thought of ‘rattling’ round a house of that size, I prefer my homes to feel homely.

You know whats bad for the environment - having children.

Sure I may live in a 5 bed house, just the two of us. But apart from the act that we have smart heating so we only heat the bits we are using, when we die that's it job done.

Your 1 (2?) children however will go on to heat 1 or 2 more houses. Then if they have children those children will go on to heat further houses.

So if you are arguing from an environmental aspect then thats just bonkers. Single/childless people would have to be taking daily flights and burning barrels of oil for the fun of it to come out of this as the worse option for the environment.

Wouldloveanother that's interesting, that's the second time you've done a laughing emoji when I've suggestion that your so-called virtue is more around making a choice that you want to anyway. No actual disagreement from you though.

Is it just us ‘civilian’ childfree people people who are resented for having a big house? what are we going to do about celebrity houses, royal residences, footballers houses? what should Tamara Eccelstone be allocated? she only has 2 children so a 3 bed semi should be plenty or don’t the same rules apply to the mega rich?

As a single woman in my late 40's (so yes, past childbearing age thank Christ as I never wanted them), and one who lives in a 5 bed, two bathroom, three storey townhouse in a very desirable and popular area of the South West, I'd like to say fuck off to anyone who judges me for my choices.

This is the fifth house I've bought - I started in a tiny one bed flat whe I was 25. Each one was bought on a mortgage funded with my own salary as I had no intention of relying on a man to fund my lifestyle. Not even my ex husband.

I have worked in various careers including education and now the NHS. I have, therefore, provided education for your children and, through managing a paediatric service, have provided the nurses, doctors and equipment needed to treat some of the most sickest children in the country.

I have never had children so have not used maternity, paediatric or educational services for my own offspring. And yet, my taxes have paid for your children. That's fine, it's what being part of a society is all about. In turn, I will happily claim my pension when the time comes.

I don't know if I "won" this house from a load of families, but if I did I certainly don't feel guilty and certainly have no intention of moving until,or if, such a time comes when it is convenient for me.

I thought I'd seen all the ways in which childfree and childless people were treated as lesser than parents. This thread proves me I was wrong.

On the too many rooms for too few people point - what about houses with eg ten bedrooms. Are they reserved for exceptionally large families only?!

This is ridiculous - most people can't afford the bigger houses which is why they don't buy them. It's not a matter of being selfish or otherwise - it's simply how much money do you have and what can you afford. Five bed houses on the market for over a million are never going to be bought by a family of five who have a maximum budget of £450k.

I believe from the logic from some posters on the thread, the most environmentally friendly thing to do if you by a ten bedroom house is to have at least 8 children.... 🙄

@thesurrealist 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Judging by various threads I've read on here in the last few months I am exceptionally selfish. We bought a large 3 bed bungalow on a huge plot in an area where locals are being out-priced. Apparently we had no right doing so since there are just the two of us, neither of us are old or disabled and we're not locals. I daresay we're not entitled to the lovely view either.

AHHH so it’s completely ‘disproportionate to the needs’ (your words) of a childless couple to have a four bedroom house BUT you can have a million pound, 2 bedroom flat in Hackney because that’s what you fancy.

You do know that the gentrification of Hackney is forcing poorer people (with precious children) out of their communities?

I recently relocated and bought a 4 bed detached new build. I live on my own, but I like space. 2 beds are tiny, so I bought as big a house as I could. I’m lucky but worked hard.